Specialness Pod

Can't you control your child? You're so strong, I could never do it. God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Every special needs parent keeps a running list of the things people say, and this week we are going through ours.Jeff and Kim get into the comments they hear from strangers, friends, and family. What they want to fire back in the moment, and what they have learned to say instead to actually educate the person in front of them. They also name the comment that stings the most, the one quietly hiding inside all the others: I'm just glad I'm not you.And they end on the thing they wish people would say. Not "how is your son," which they can answer in their sleep, but "how are you." If you have ever been called strong on a day you were barely holding on, this one is going to feel like someone finally gets it.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #SpecialNeedsMom #TheSpecialnessPodcast

For most people, isolation is a choice. For special needs families, it isn't. It happens to you, and it comes wrapped in a grief that has no recognizable end.

Jeff and Kim talk about the two things their community lives with that rarely get named together: isolation and grief, and why the two are so tightly intertwined. The invitations that slowly stop coming. The birthday parties you leave early. The milestones that hit just as hard at 25 as they did at 5. And the quiet decision so many families make to just stop going, because it is easier than being stared at.

They also share something they wish someone had told them at the very beginning: grieving the life you pictured does not mean you love your child any less. It is not selfish. It is human.

And near the end, they introduce something new. The Sanctuary is a safe, off the grid space they are building for this community to connect, share, and be understood, without an algorithm in the way.

If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.

#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsGrief #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast

In the mental health world, there is no blood test. No x-ray. Just a subjective judgment that changes from one doctor's office to the next, and a family left to live with the consequences.Jeff and Kim get honest about the part of special needs parenting that society files under "dangerous" or "crazy" and refuses to take seriously. They walk through Cason's mental health journey from the beginning: the manic behavior at four, the neuropsychologist who suspected bipolar one, the renowned psychiatrist who dismissed it as "just ADHD," and the medication trial and error that made everything worse. They also share the terrifying hospital day that no parent should have to fight through, and why the words "he's too young for that" cost their family years.This is a conversation about stigma, about a mental health system that is easy to be failed by, and about why our own community has to be the place understanding starts.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #MentalHealth #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast

When people hear the word grief, they think someone died. For special needs parents, the grief is different. It's the life you planned for and never got to live, and it doesn't fade. It compounds.

In this episode, Jeff and Kim talk openly about the grief nobody in the special needs world seems allowed to name. The milestones that never come. The family gatherings where the gap becomes impossible to ignore. The jealousy that shows up watching friends drop their kids at college. And why, after almost 25 years, the grief has actually gotten heavier, not lighter.

If you have ever felt guilty for grieving while still loving your child with everything you have, this one is for you. You have permission to feel it.

#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsGrief #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast

Part 2 of our conversation with Julia Erman, a special needs mom whose two children share an ultra rare diagnosis. This is the half about what she did with it.Julia found out her kids were dying on her birthday, over a Zoom call. In this episode she talks about the faith that gave her peace that same day, why suffering builds a muscle most people never have to grow, and how a conversation at a backyard cookout turned into The Hazelnut Movement, a school program that has now reached 25 schools in 5 states.She also says something that stopped us: her daughter isn't the problem. Her own grief is. This is a conversation about the hard you can control and the hard you cannot.Missed Part 1? Watch it here: https://youtu.be/HqwvSUjrHZwABOUT OUR GUESTJulia Erman is a speaker, author, and founder of The Hazelnut Movement, a nonprofit school assembly program that helps kids understand disability through storytelling. She has written 18 children's books and has been featured in People Magazine and NBC Today Parents.Julia's website, books, and speaking: https://www.juliaerman.co/The Hazelnut Movement, school assemblies and educator resources: https://www.thehazelnutmovement.com/Julia is currently booking school assemblies and keynotes, and she has packets parents can send to their own school administrators. She also offers a free 7-day encouragement series for special needs moms called 7 Days of Hope.Find her on Instagram at @ermanjulia and @thehazelnutmovement.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsMom #RareDisease #SpecialNeedsFamily #TheSpecialnessPodcast

Our first ever guest. Julia Erman is a special needs mom, author, and founder of The Hazelnut Movement, and both of her children live with a diagnosis that only has a handful of documented cases in the world.

In Part 1 of 2, Julia walks us through the beginning. A perfect birth that turned into a NICU emergency in 48 hours. A neurologist who took away every ounce of hope in two words. A second pregnancy that uncovered the cancer four doctors had missed. And the moment, two days after her son was born, when she realized it was happening all over again.

This is one of the most honest conversations we have had on this show about grief, diagnosis, and how long it can actually take to find joy again.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Julia Erman is a speaker, author, and founder of The Hazelnut Movement, a nonprofit school assembly program that helps kids understand disability through storytelling. She has written 18 children's books and has been featured in People Magazine and NBC Today Parents.

Julia's website, books, and speaking: https://www.juliaerman.co/

The Hazelnut Movement, school assemblies and educator resources: https://www.thehazelnutmovement.com/

Julia is currently booking school assemblies and keynotes, and she has packets parents can send to their own school administrators. She also offers a free 7-day encouragement series for special needs moms called 7 Days of Hope.

Find her on Instagram at @ermanjulia and @thehazelnutmovement.

If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.

#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsMom #RareDisease #SpecialNeedsFamily #TheSpecialnessPodcast

A few weeks ago we posted a reel about the roles each parent plays in a special needs marriage. It passed 70,000 views and lit up our comments, so this week we're unpacking what we actually meant.

Jeff said one of us drew "the short end of the stick," and it ruffled feathers. In this episode we clarify that comment, talk through the roles of breadwinner and caregiver, and get honest about the resentment and burnout that nobody warns you about. After 24 years, here's how we've split the load without losing each other.

CHAPTERS

0:00 The viral reel and why context gets lost

1:45 What "the short end of the stick" really meant

2:38 Secondhand medical info and surprise medication costs

7:45 Deciding our roles before we even had kids

11:16 How resentment and caregiver burnout creep in

13:42 Why special needs divorces mirror regular ones, only magnified

21:24 Personality decides roles, not gender stereotypes

26:09 Why denial is one of the most dangerous things in our world

29:06 How your roles shift as your child grows

31:04 The jobs that became Dad's, from reading to infusions

34:18 "I'm off the clock" and why the caregiver needs real breaks

47:31 Balancing a neurotypical sibling

52:25 What 24 years has actually taught us

53:35 Next week: our first guest, Julie Erman

Thank you to everyone following along from all over the world. Your comments, questions, and stories shape every episode we make.

If this helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.

New episodes every week.

#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsMarriage #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast

We had plans.That sounds simple, but when you are raising a child with profound special needs, plans come with an asterisk.In this episode, we talk about the part of special needs parenting that is hard to explain to people who have never lived it. It is not just that your child’s future changes. Your future changes too.This conversation started with a reel that hit a nerve because so many parents said the same thing: you can’t really plan when you never know what is coming next.If you are a special needs parent, caregiver, or family member living with the constant unknown, this episode is for you.Watch the episode and let us know, what is something you had to stop planning the way other families do?

When Cason started aging out of pediatric care, we thought the hardest part would be finding new doctors.

We were wrong.

The harder part was walking into the adult medical world and realizing how different everything felt. For years, pediatric specialists knew Cason, understood his history, and treated him like a whole person. Then suddenly we were in adult offices where the records had not always been read, guardianship was not always understood, and people expected Cason to answer questions he could not understand.

In this episode, we talk about the pediatric cliff, the transition from pediatric specialists to adult doctors, and what it feels like when your special needs child becomes a legal adult but still needs the same level of support.

We also talk about one appointment that stayed with us, the kind of appointment that makes every future appointment harder.

If you are a parent, caregiver, or family member navigating adult care, guardianship, disability, special needs parenting, or medical advocacy, this one may feel very familiar.

Watch the episode and let us know, has your family experienced the pediatric cliff too?

After one of our Instagram reels reached more than 180,000 views, hundreds of parents shared their stories, challenged the statistic, and started one of the most meaningful conversations we've ever had.In this episode, we revisit that viral reel, correct the misinformation, and talk about what the research actually says.More importantly, we talk about what the comments revealed.Special needs parents opened up about marriages that grew stronger, marriages that fell apart, single parenting, caregiver burnout, trauma bonding, financial stress, and the daily realities that most people never see.This episode isn't about fear.It's about honesty.Whether you're raising a child with autism, a rare genetic condition, Down syndrome, or another disability, we hope this conversation reminds you that you're not alone.If you've ever wondered whether your marriage is the only one carrying this weight, this episode is for you.🎧 Watch now and join the conversation.If this episode speaks to you, we'd love to hear your story in the comments.#SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismParenting #SpecialNeedsFamily #CaregiverLife #Marriage #DisabilityAwareness #RareDisease #ParentingPodcast #SpecialnessPodcast