Spiritual Psychology Coaching | How to Break Free From Being a 'Codependent Anorexic' And starting Dating After Narcissistic Abuse

In this week's episode, Laura is ready to date again after years of being single Have you stopped dating to heal, but found yourself not dating for years? How to go from being a 'codependent anorexic' to healthy dating How to take back your power and heal from narcissistic abuse How to stop making the dating apps wrong or saying there's 'no good guys'  In this episode, we breakdown the difference between needing trauma healing vs. taking 100% responsibility. We go through a divinely guided coaching session, assisting her to claim her birthright of love!   What you will learn in this episode: How to start loving again after years of suppressing yourself How to spot your limiting beliefs that are projecting into your dating life How to take responsibility for all of your past relationships      In this week’s podcast, we are diving into Sex, Love, & Recovery! In this episode, I'm talking about how to break free from being a 'Codependent Anorexic' and start dating after Narcissistic Abuse. ✨   Speaker 1 (00:00): Welcome to the Dr. Erin podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth, your soul's purpose, and manifest your dreams. Hi, I'm Dr. Erin. Dr. Divinity. I'm committed to bringing you the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I'm here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life. I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe in you together we're awakening the world. Okay, Welcome back my friends. I'm super excited to dive deep into sex, love, and recovery, and this is a big, big topic for the world out there because we all want love. We all want connection, and we're trying to figure it out. I think even typical marriages these days, it's said that only 15% of marriages are actually thriving. So it's all of us. It doesn't matter if you're single, if you're dating, if you're married, the ultimate relationship is within all of the relationships are the projection and reflection of our true ability to love or not love. So our guests on here are courageous enough to share their real stuff going on for them, but what I want to make sure people understand is just because someone's single doesn't mean they're worse than or something's wrong with them. I really, really, really think it's really important for the world to get that because people can be married and living double lives and more miserable and more alone than ever. So it doesn't matter who comes on here, I want us to stay in an open heart and open space that there's profound masters on this planet and even masters are challenged with our human hood. So it's really important that we hold each and every one of us in our divinity as we dive into real human issues that we all can relate to. Okay, so today, today, today we have a caller, Laura. She's in from Oakville, Canada. She's 57. Not that matters or not, and I don't typically say ages, but for some reason I feel like it's kind of important today is paint the picture around everything she is in Really what the issue is, she states I haven't been on a date in five years and I do not want to do online dating just because I feel like it's never going to actually work out. Okay. So man, I'm sure there's so many people out there that can relate to what is going on. So hi Laura, how are you? Speaker 2 (02:25): Well, thank you. It's such an honor to be here. Thank you. Where Speaker 1 (02:30): Are you right now? You're on vacation? I'm Speaker 2 (02:31): On vacation. My youngest daughter said, mom, you deserve it. I haven't been away in 10 years, and so she worked really hard and we are now in Jupiter, Florida. Speaker 1 (02:44): Oh, I'm like an hour away from you right now. No way. Literally, I'm up at this really cool tree house up in Fort Pierce and I have this lake out here, and I think I'm never going to leave because I'm a total introvert, so I can just have my podcast here and just never even leave this cabin. I swear Speaker 2 (02:58): It's beautiful here. We're just so in love. We're going to go to Peanut Island Speaker 1 (03:03): Later. Yeah, that's beautiful. Okay, amazing. So let's break this one down. Girl, you haven't dated in five years. What's going on? Girlfriend to girlfriend, talk to me. Oh, Speaker 2 (03:12): It is a nightmare. I tried online dating a few. I've been single since 2006. Mom came out of very verbally abusive narcissist ex, and it really actually knocked the wind down in my sails as entrusting myself, as in allowing love in. Again, all those areas and when I have tried online dating or I have dated, I find that it's either it's unrequited in the sense that they don't feel the way I feel or vice versa, or I don't trust myself that I'm just going to pick another Speaker 1 (03:54): First. I just want to have compassion for you. I also want to recognize and congratulate you for not just doing the same cycle over and over and taking some time and not just putting yourself into something that you know isn't right. So congratulations for that because a lot of people would just keep doing the same total insane cycle and pulling in the next person that's basically having the same demonstration of something to the effect of I'm not worthy of love and calling in that same situation. Right? Over and over again, as you probably know my story, I was very, very codependent and when I was in a very dysfunctional, codependent relationship with the narcissistic, very famous rockstar, I too, after that relationship, needed to take quite some years off because I needed to say, whoa, where's my part? And what's really going on in this? So let's dive a little bit deeper. Let's go before the last narcissist. What was the patterning that was happening? We can say, oh, them that this, whatever, but the characters all changed, but the theme stays the same, right? It does. So what was the theme? Yeah, Speaker 2 (05:02): Well, the theme was as, I guess my first love, he was kind, not a famous rock star, but he was in the punk rock lifestyle and all that stuff, and I was with him from 15 till 24, I think, and I was just the background kind of person. I was in the back. I never fully could be me, I guess. I dunno how to explain it, or I was always introduced, oh, the girlfriend. It's almost like I didn't have an identity. Speaker 1 (05:37): I love this. So I think it comes down to a distinction. So for me, I realized that it was, I called in the narcissist for the masterclass, exact masterclass that I needed, which was self-love and self-worth, right? Because if we don't have high self-worth, high self-esteem or believe we're worthy of really being fully connected, fully and love and fully expressed, then we're going to call in the exact situation for fulfilling upon that identity and that prophecy, if you will, that the prophetic self-fulfilling prophecy for ourselves, right? Yes. So it sounds like the self-worth is really what's really going on here. Speaker 2 (06:16): It really is. It's self, it's really, even if I go back to my childhood of, I was in the seventies, I was diagnosed with dyslexia, so then I was introduced to special ed classes. Were kind of coming into the school system in Canada, and so I was always in the dumb class and now I'm blonde, so it doesn't help. So I always had that kind of like, but I just learned differently and I take, I'm super empathic and I have healing skills and stuff like that, so I know I have all that now. But yeah, a lot of it Speaker 1 (06:57): Stuff, I feel like we have so much in common. I was totally dyslexic as well when I was young, and it is a weird thing. I do think that there's this weird thing about being blonde as a stigma. I remember also as a little girl, having the girls hating me and the guys liking me, and it was really this interesting dynamic of something's wrong with me and I need to really, it was like I had to make up for it in some way. And I think just these conversations are really interesting because consciousness guides here when we're doing deeper work and say we're in a true session. This is not a true session. We'd be going into the trauma of this lifetime and past lifetimes going into the D N A track and clearing off the D n A to fully express your greatest expression through your D n A. So spirit can express itself fully through this computer called you, right? Yes. But in this, we're kind of just breaking down and having a conscious conversation of almost really looking at what's the patterning from a human perspective and all that, and just kind of almost doing the pre-conscious awareness before we do the real work. So my question for you is this, Laura, on a level of one to a hundred, one, meaning I'm not really motivated to do much, a hundred, meaning I'm a hundred percent committed to doing whatever it takes, and this is the difference. I'm not going to say a hundred percent committed to finding the one because I think that's bs a belief system. I believe you are the one you've been waiting for. Yes. A hundred percent committed to becoming the love of your life, and in that opening up the portal for energetically to have the demonstration and mental vibrational match of the potential of the one out here in the three D form, Speaker 2 (08:47): Correct? Yes. Speaker 1 (08:49): Where are you on that spectrum of one to 100? Speaker 2 (08:52): Okay, I am hearing, I'm hearing two numbers, so I'm like, which is the honest number? I'm going to say 70% there, because I have been doing a lot of work on myself personally. So yeah. Speaker 1 (09:09): Okay. So there's a couple of distinctions here when we have two different numbers. The mini mind has one identity and thought and feeling. The true identity, if you want to say the true spirit, the cleared out soul is always absolute truth. It knows only the most divine power. It knows a hundred percent who it is, and there's the mini mind that is divided. That is the relative truth. Okay? So we've got our work is to, as we say, connect the heart and the mind, or you could say connect the union through yoga of the individual relative mind with the divine absolute mind. Okay? Yes. So where do you want to live? Do you want to live in the 70% or do you want to live in the a hundred percent committed level? Speaker 2 (09:57): A hundred percent, absolutely. At the all costs. Speaker 1 (10:01): Okay. A good metaphor