008 - Spirituality

Hey Everybody! I wanted to honestly thank you for subscribing to Aging Is Optional Radio. Over the last six weeks since the launch of this podcast I have published eight episodes that have resulted in over 300 downloads and a global audience spanning from the united States, to Canada, Australia, France and Japan which is really exciting because I’m just getting started.

I am so grateful that you are listening, that you are hopefully receiving value from the topic’s I’m discussing and that you’ll continue to participate in our community as we grow.

So let’s get started.  

Have you ever had a near death experience? Have you ever felt like you cheated death or just “got lucky”? Back when I was around 16 or 17 years old my friend Jeff and I were driving up to Big Bear, a ski resort town in Southern California near Los Angeles, to go skiing for the weekend. Jeff’s family had a vacation house up there. I was really excited because it was going to be the first time I had ever gone skiing. We had Jeff’s car all packed up with clothes and food and assorted beverages. Hey! We were in High School!

We took the back road which if you know this road, it’s really steep and winding but it gets you there faster. Anyway as we drove up the mountain we were listening to music and talking and it was getting colder and colder and a light snow had started to fall. The snow on the ground and in the trees looked beautiful. It had started to get dark and the road was pretty windy.

All of a sudden we go into a downhill right hand turn. At that moment we hit a patch of black ice in the road and the car skidded across the road into oncoming traffic and off the side of the road and down a cliff. There was no guardrail so the car flipped side over side several times. We were flying around inside the car with all of our stuff for the weekend. All of a sudden we just stopped. We had hit a tree about a 150 feet down the mountain. We both were yelling, asking if each other if we were okay and miraculously we were! I had hit the windshield and jammed my shoulder. I don’t remember exactly what happened to Jeff but he was worse off than I was.

We were able to grab some of our stuff so we would be warm in the snow. We tossed the beverages we could find out of the car. The car was totaled. And made our way up the hill to the road.

Almost at that very moment a snow plow that was heading up the mountain came driving up. Crazy timing right? The driver seeing two teenage boys on the side of the road in the snow on a mountain road knew something was wrong so he pulled over. We told him what happened and he said that this was a dangerous spot where we went off the road. A year or so earlier a woman driving a car hit the same spot and went off the road and ended up losing both her legs due to her injuries. Around the same time a family of four went off in the same spot and they all died.

How lucky could we be? If not for that tree would likely would have died. It really made no sense that there wasn’t guardrail there to protect people driving that part of the road. The tow truck driver took us to meet the Highway Patrol at a rest stop so he could take us down the mountain to get medical care and meet our parents. He also told us about accidents that had happened in that very spot. I’ve thought of that accident many times throughout the years.

For four summers during college I worked at a Tennis Ranch in Big Bear and I drove that same road every other weekend up and down the mountain. Every time I drove past that spot my hands got sweaty and my grip got tighter. I had a physical reaction at the memory and being so close to the place where I nearly died. Have you ever had an experience like this?

I’ve actually come to believe that there really are no coincidences. None. Everything happens for a reason and there is a larger plan in play. I believe that there is a force, a power, an energy, a higher power or God if you will, that is bigger than me that controls everything in the universe. That force has a plan for me and everything else. Accepting that makes life a lot easier for me to live life on a daily basis. Sure, bad things happen in the world and I’ve had my share of hardship but I accept it. I am not in control. My daily challenge is to be in alignment with that force or energy. Things usually work out better when I do.

I was actually raised Catholic and went through the whole process from baptism to Confirmation. I drifted away from the church in my college years. Later I was actually married in the Catholic Church. And We raised our daughters Molly & Riley in the Catholic Church. I don’t have anything against the Catholic Church, I just don’t really align with it today.

Over the last 10 years I’ve spent a lot of time studying about this force. I’ve been in mastermind groups on this very subject I’ve listened to countless podcasts and read many books. I actually go to a Baptist church here in North Dallas where Piper goes to school. I really enjoy it and I know as a result I’m learning a lot about another book that many of the other books I’ve read are based on. The Bible. But book knowledge and understanding is great. Putting the knowledge into practice is a whole different challenge for me.

The challenge for me has always been about control. Can you relate? For a long time I believed for some reason that I could control outcomes. I’ve come to believe that this belief comes from my inherent selfishness. I think every human is a bit selfish. Some of us take it to the extreme. I used to joke that I have superpowers. Can you relate? Do you know anyone like this? Have you ever felt that you can will yourself to some outcome?

I’ve had some very painful consequences, both family and business related, that have helped me realize that when I am selfish and thinking I’m in control things don’t turn out well at all. Maybe this sounds familiar to you.

Over the last 10 years from my mid 40’s to my mid 50’s, through lots of personal work and study, I have come to believe that I’m really a spiritual being having a physical experience. I’ll say that again, I’m a spiritual being having a physical experience. This is actually a quote from the French philosopher Pierre Teilhard de Chardin SJ (French: [pjɛʁ tejaʁ də ʃaʁdɛ̃] (listen (help·info)); 1 May 1881 – 10 April 1955) was a French idealist philosopher and Jesuit priest who trained as a paleontologist and geologist and took part in the discovery of Peking Man.

He said “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”  I believe we all are. The question is, do we realize it or not? nd the follow up to that is, what are we going to do about it?

What I try to do is to rely on the spiritual force that is around and through all of us, throughout my day. To live without expectations. To trust that everything will be perfect

The problem is that sometimes when I first wake up in the morning my brain starts to go to work on the future. I start to make plans. Sometimes I think I’m in control again. I become selfish

I have to recognize when this happens that I need to take steps to turn my attention away from myself and toward this force or energy. I have to let go of the illusion that I am in control. Than I have to go to work and accept whatever the outcome it.

  Over this time I have grown quite a bit spiritually but I still have a long way to go. Breaking old habits and beliefs takes time and effort. I find that my routine of starting my day with some spiritual reading, prayer and meditation helps me get out of my own head and to connect to this energy. I also try to end my day in gratitude. This helps me sleep with a clear mind. When I do I start and end my day spiritually connected and get into the flow I am more peaceful and productive. I am more connected to those around me because I believe we are all made of and connected to this energy. When I do this things usually work out for the better but I try to accept the outcome no matter what.

There are many articles and studies on Aging and Spirituality but I found this article by Lawrence Samual PHD in Psychology Today most interesting. It’s titled “Will Baby Boomers Every Find Religion?”

I have linked it in the show notes here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/boomers-30/201712/will-baby-boomers-ever-find-religion

The article goes on to say that “many baby boomers are becoming more spiritual as they age”, something that is completely consistent with the historical pattern of individuals finding religion in their later years.  

Whether greater spirituality is part of the process of becoming a more evolved human being or more about a greater awareness of one’s own mortality, boomers are pondering deep thoughts about the meaning of life and what might come next.  

That’s certainly true for me. What about you?

For a good number of boomers, finding a little or a lot more faith is a kind of coming full circle.  America was a much more religious place in the 1950s and 1960s, and kids were likely to get a heavy dose of traditional Judeo-Christian dogma.

Organized religion was perceived as part of the “system” many boomers found to be overly authoritarian as they became young adults, however, making them look elsewhere to fill spiritual needs.

The Baylor Longitudinal Study of Religion showed Around 85% of Americans believe in some kind of God, but only about 30% attend a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque, hard evidence of this cultural shift from religion to spirituality.

Boomers’ gravitation to a myriad of personally defined avenues of spirituality reflects their gradual realization that they are part of something much, much bigger than themselves.  Boomers are likely to construct their individual concept of spirituality based on their internalized belief system, overarching view of the world, and perceived role in life itself.

I can really identify with the finding in this article. Can you?Do you try to live a spiritual life? Do you believe in a power greater than yourself? How do you incorporate it into your life? Do you have a spiritual or religious routine?As you age what part does it play in your life? How important is it to you?If you haven’t developed a spiritual connection why not? Is it something that might be missing in your life?

So you have any thoughts you’d like to share with me? I’d be really interested in your feedback. Feel free to send me an email at [email protected] and let me know.

Thanks again for joining me on Aging Is Optional Radio. I hope you found some value in this episode. That’s really my goal. You can find the podcast on iTunes and I’d really appreciate it if you would subscribe and give it a rating and I love receiving comments!

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