Split. The After Ever After Podcast

So, you've come to the place of deciding that you want a separation. Now what? How do you have one of the most difficult conversations of your life with someone? Is there ever a right time?

The way you tell your spouse about your decision can set the tone for your entire separation and co-parenting future.

There's no changing that fact that this kind of conversation can be devastating and life-changing. But, there are ways to go about it that can help soften the blow and move things forward positively. The alternative can mean heightened conflict, "lawyering up", and drama, drama, drama.

In today's episode we discuss tips for:

HOW to tell your spouse in an appropriate way

WHEN to have the conversation, because timing is everything

WHAT things to say that can lower conflict

WHY it's so important to take the time to have this conversation in the best way possible

You don’t have to go through divorce alone, support is available. Circles is an emotional support platform that connects you with a small group of others going through divorce in a safe online space. Head to circlesup.com and use promo code SPLIT2022 to get the first month free and join your circle today.

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

The content on this podcast is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

Spousal support (called alimony in the US) is one of the most complicated and contentious areas of family law. The guidelines are complex with lots of grey areas, which can mean lots of room for conflict. Having what you need to make informed decisions is important.

Today we discuss the basics of the Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines (SSAG), including:

+Who is entitled to support

+Compensatory vs. non-compensatory support

+Spousal support with and without children

+When does support end?

+What is a lump-sum payment?

More questions? Let us know (if you're listening on spotify, hit the q&a button below to leave a voice message or send us a DM) and we'll discuss in part two!

You don’t have to go through divorce alone, support is available. Circles is an emotional support platform that connects you with a small group of others going through divorce in a safe online space. Head to circlesup.com and use promo code SPLIT2022 to get the first month free and join your circle today.

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

The content on this podcast is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

Newly separated parents often don't realize just how many things there are to consider about the new co-parenting arrangement. Schedules, paying for extracurriculars, transition times, dealing with behaviour issues, introducing new partners are just a few issues of so many. Our guests today realized that taking the time to work out a detailed parenting plan is essential, but there were few professionals taking the time with clients to create them.

Brandyn Roark Caires, a licensed counsellor and Jen Schimbeno, a Financial Planner, created "Parent Team," an online course that guides parents through the ins and outs of parenting from both homes. Today we talk to them about some of what they've learned from their years of experience working with co-parents. They offer some tips on how they manage the tough issues like financial disputes, withholding information, and badmouthing the other parent. Listen for a great description of their technique called, "Name It, Frame It, Don't Blame It" - it could be a game-changer for you and your kids!

You can find more information about Parent Team @parentteam on IG and on their website: www.parentteam.com 

You don’t have to go through divorce alone, support is available. Circles is an emotional support platform that connects you with a small group of others going through divorce in a safe online space. Head to circlesup.com and use promo code SPLIT2022 to get the first month free and join your circle today.

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

The content on this podcast is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

It's another Q+A episode! In this Part 3 installment of our series on High Conflict People we take questions from YOU. Thank you so much to everyone that took the time to submit such though-provoking and personal questions.

There's a little bit of everything here, ranging from issues with new partners, to ignoring food allergies, and how to deal with co-parent no-shows. We each give our take on how to best handle these situations, scripts on what you can say, and of course a little of what NOT to do!

We hope you'll find some answers here to your own situation. Please keep submitting your questions to us, and we're happy to help.

You don’t have to go through divorce alone, support is available. Circles is an emotional support platform that connects you with a small group of others going through divorce in a safe online space. Head to circlesup.com and use promo code SPLIT2022 to get the first month free and join your circle today.

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

If you listened to last week's episode "Part 1: High Conflict People" you might have identified some high conflict personalities in your life. OK, so now what?

In Part 2 of "High Conflict People" we discuss some practical strategies for communication with these types of people. We offer some scripts, tips, and our own anecdotes from the battlefield!

If you're dealing with one of these characters in your life odds are you're overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted. It's extremely difficult to disengage from this conflict and you may have been in it for so long you don't know which end is up. We hope this episode gives you some insight into how to get some space and freedom from continuing conflict.

You don’t have to go through divorce alone, support is available. Circles is an emotional support platform that connects you with a small group of others going through divorce in a safe online space. Head to circlesup.com and use promo code SPLIT2022 to get the first month free and join your circle today.

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

For added resources see:

Legal information and resources for Ontarians can be found at https://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/

Bill Eddy's book "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life." and BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People

Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters by Karen Anderson 

Lawyer and Mediator Bill Eddy writes a lot about "HCP" or "high conflict people." He explains that these characters are out of the ordinary, don't act like 80% of the population, and are marked by continued conflict and chaos in their lives.

A high conflict person could be that way because of a personality disorder, substance abuse, or other mental heath issue. If you try to reason with them you will find yourself engaged in a never-ending cycle of crazy-making conflict.

In this episode we talk about how to recognize these personality types so that we can approach conflict with them in a different way. Watch for a Part 2 coming soon where we explain ways you can communicate with this type of person.

You don’t have to go through divorce alone, support is available. Circles is an emotional support platform that connects you with a small group of others going through divorce in a safe online space. Head to circlesup.com and use promo code SPLIT2022 to get the first month free and join your circle today.

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

For additional resources see:

EP. 14 Is My Ex A Narcissist?! With Matthew Phifer

5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities Paperback by Bill Eddy

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Randy Kreger and Paul Mason

The content on this podcast is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

We talk a lot on the podcast about dating and re-marriage after divorce, step-parents, and blended families. Most of us assume that the natural progression of a long-term relationship is to have your children meet your partner's and blend your lives together. BUT, what if you didn't blend families at all? What if your families don't even meet? WHAT?!

In this episode we talk with Jennifer Hurvitz, a Relationship Expert, Dating Coach, and best-selling author. Jennifer found herself in a stable, long-term relationship after her divorce and has made the very unconventional choice not to blend families.

How does that work? Pros? Cons?

Her choices may not work for you, but this is a must listen if you're thinking about introducing your children to a partner, or blending families altogether. She has an interesting perspective that's worth considering.

You can find more of Jennifer Hurvitz on IG @doingrelationshipsright and on her website https://www.jenniferhurvitz.com/

You don’t have to go through divorce alone, support is available. Circles is an emotional support platform that connects you with a small group of others going through divorce in a safe online space. Head to circlesup.com and use promo code SPLIT2022 to get the first month free and join your circle today.

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

The content on this podcast is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

OK, you're divorced. WTF now? Enter Rob Roseman of wtfdivorce.com. When Rob's own world was turned upside down by divorce in 2020 and he started his search for resources to help him through it all. Now his website, IG page @wtfdivorce and his own podcast offer a steady stream of high quality resources to help you date better, co-parent smoother, and thrive in your new life after divorce.

Today we talk to Rob about his own experience with divorce and how men may experience divorce differently. Rob talks about dating as a single Dad, communicating with your ex, and the ongoing challenges of parenting.

You don’t have to go through this alone, support is available. Circles is an emotional support platform that connects you with a small group of others going through divorce in a safe online space. Head to circlesup.com and use promo code SPLIT2022 to get the first month free and join your circle today.

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

The content on this podcast is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

Parenting itself is hard enough - trying to figure it out with your ex? That can be downright brutal. You ex might not have the same parenting style that you do, and might not be open to your feedback about it.

What then?

How can we manage behavioural issues with our children between two homes?

What if the kids are playing us against each other to get their own way? (hint: they are!)

What if my co-parent doesn't have the same rules that I do?

In this episode we discuss these questions and other co-parenting problems with author and speaker, Kimball Lewis. He explains how we can still maintain boundaries and discipline with our kids even between two homes. He shares some tips and practical examples of what to say to kids  in these situations.

You can find more information about Empowering Parents and the Total Transformation program at www.empoweringparents.com

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

The content on this podcast is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

In the world of conflict resolution and mediation our guest today needs no introduction. Bill Eddy is THE expert on all things dispute resolution. A prolific author, speaker, and professor, Mr. Eddy has been a strong voice in this world for more than 30 years.

Bill Eddy is known for his practical, straightforward approach to resolving conflict. His books always include lots of detailed examples of high conflict dialogue and what to do instead. He has a true gift for describing those familiar causes of conflict and how we can expertly work through them. 

We're so pleased to speak to him today about his latest book, "Calming Upset People with EAR: How Statements Showing Empathy, Attention, and Respect Can Quickly Defuse a Conflict." Bill explains how he came to use "EAR Statements" and why they're so helpful. He also offers many examples of how you can use these in your life. 

You can find more about Bill Eddy at https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

To learn more about mediation and schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Sanders click here

Book a consultation for divorce coaching with Ashley Wood by clicking here

Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsciouscoparent Jennifer @sandersmediation

The content on this podcast is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.