In this conversation, Tim talks with Beth Abbott who shares her journey of hitting rock bottom and finding redemption. She discusses the events that led to her national news coverage, including a DUI accident that injured pedestrians. Beth opens up about her struggles with depression, PTSD, and hiding her sexuality. She talks about the pressure she felt to meet others' expectations and how she used alcohol and desensitization as coping mechanisms. She discusses the internal battle between her heart and head, where her heart knows she is a good person but her head doubts her worth. The conversation highlights the importance of seeking help and finding one's true identity.

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You don’t want to miss this episode. In my opinion anyway (but I’m biased).

Clearly, I’ve been away from the microphone for a few weeks—much longer than even I expected for sure. But I’ve had good reason. And the lessons I’ve been learning during this hiatus have only helped to strengthen what I’ve been wanting to say to my loyal listeners as I talk openly about my recent experiences. 

As you can ascertain from the title, my emphasis is simple: slow down. Sounds easy. It’s not. It requires a deliberate decision every day. But if we would adhere to this logic, we’d improve our lives and the lives of the people around us—the whole world to be honest. I can’t encourage you enough to listen and apply.

If you’re interested in finding a greater sense of connection and belonging in your life, this is the best 25 minutes you can spend today. I promise!

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Sometimes life feels insurmountable. Those are the moments when you don't believe you have the strength or stamina to overcome the obstacles in your path—the seasons when you seriously consider giving up.

You're not alone. We all face seasons in life when molehills feel like mountains. But there's always hope if we will learn to pause long enough to catch our breath and recalibrate to do the climb that lies ahead of us.

When you don't feel confident or capable, you should tell yourself a different story with a better ending than the one you imagine. In this episode, I want to share some ABCs to help motivate you to keep moving.

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"If it doesn't bring you peace, profit, or purpose, then don't give it your time, energy, or attention." —Unknown

I posted that quote on social media over the last few days. As you might suppose, the response was affirming. Because it just makes sense, right? 

So why does such simple wisdom appear to be so difficult to implement in our lives? Why do we give our time, energy, and attention away so easily?

I tackle these questions in this episode and attempt to offer some practical suggestions that can provide perspective we can all implement.

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No one likes to admit the possibility they might create the majority of their own problems or that they are the source of their own pain. Even considering the idea is slightly embarrassing. Or shameful.

But is it true?

I hate to be the one to tell you, but it’s true. Most of our pain is self-inflicted.

Deliberately? Not usually. Inadvertently? Most likely.

Until we even ponder that possibility, we'll continue to suffer unnecessarily in areas completely within our control. This is true for both our internal and external battles. And it's especially true for our relational challenges and well-being.

Our personal struggles—private and public—are more solvable than we can imagine when we learn to recognize the signs of emotional self-harm. In this episode, Timothy Eldred unpacks three easily-remedied, self-harm behaviors that can improve your life once you learn to recognize the signs. They might be easier to change than you think.

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SHOW NOTES

During the episode, Tim addresses some self-harm behaviors. Here's a list of the three he mentions and a few more to consider for your life:

• Pretending
• Sharing with people who can't support you*
• Not asking for what you need*
• Judging yourself harshly
• Being inauthentic
• Thinking negatively about yourself
• Preoccupying yourself with other people's lives
• Expecting things to be perfect
• Allowing fear to stop you
• Choosing to remain silent
• Complaining without changing what you can control*

If you have thoughts or questions about any of these behaviors, please send an email to: [email protected].  We may address them in a future episode for everyone's benefit. Your voice matters, and we always appreciate hearing from you.

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Here are additional resources you may want to read for insight into this issue:

• https://myonlinetherapy.com/emotional-self-harm/
• https://themighty.com/topic/self-harm/types-of-self-harm
• https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2020/6/can-self-harm-be-emotional
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201908/emotional-self-harm-people-pleasing-can-ruin-your-happiness

Send us a text message. We'd love to hear from you!

Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Send us a text message. We'd love to hear from you!

Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

We overthink.

And the thoughts bouncing around in our brains shape our world and become our reality. We also take life too seriously. Is it any wonder we are so emotionally stressed and uptight? 

What would happen if we chose to relax, care less, and see life as a beautiful gift? Because it is precisely that, my friends. That truth is available for everyone to experience every single day.

You don't have to take everything so serious or let others' thoughts dictate your days which means you don’t have to:

• Pretend to agree with everyone
• Take responsibility for how others feel
• Apologize often
• Always say yes
• Feel uncomfortable if someone disapproves of you
• Act like the people around you
• Need praise to feel good
• Go to great lengths to avoid conflict
• Succumb to the pressure of fitting in
• Believe you are less than others
• Tolerate toxic people

The choice to abandon these behaviors is 100% yours. No one else controls you. But only you can lighten up and stop overthinking. With that list in mind, here are a couple of questions:

1. Who is the person I am being in my life and showing the world? And how much of that person is the truth of who I am?
2. How am I using my public persona to hide my authentic self, and why do I feel the need to hide it?
3. Do I feel a disconnection between the person I pretend to be in the world and the person I connect with more deeply inside myself?
4. What would it look like for me to take off the mask and live more authentically?

I'm excited for you to listen today and find some long-needed freedom on your path to living with authenticity in an artificial world.

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Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Most of the time, many people who are trying to make significant and lasting changes in their life do one major thing wrong—they go too far too fast. It's like quitting a habit cold turkey. You are either going to fail now or relapse later because you bit off more than you can chew.

Well, breaking free from the acceptance of others is even harder because of the emotional addictions we suffer from in life that keep us hooked on the praise and applause of people. And while we are busy living for the approval of others, we're dying a little bit inside.

The more and more we sacrifice our identity to gain acceptance, the less and less of us is left. So how do you move ahead as your authentic self in a world that requires you to be someone you're not? Slowly. One step at a time is the recipe for finally being free to be you. Or just be.

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Have you heard the phrase (or used the phrase) I need to put on my face? It’s an idiom about putting on makeup; however, the concept can be applied in much broader terms. Because we all put on a “face” of sorts. Our face (or public persona) is the outward identity we reveal to others which may or may not portray the true, authentic you. 

In this episode, I talk about the idea of not only taking off your mask but actually choosing to not even put on your face in the first place. What would happen in the world if we followed this challenge? What if we let other people see our blemishes and brokenness? Would we be better as a society? Would we be healthier as the human race?

If you’ve listened in the past, you already know my answer to those facetious questions. If you’re new to Square Peg Round Hole, welcome. You’re about to know my answer, too. But regardless of how long you’ve been listening, I believe you will be brave enough to break some rules to become your true, authentic self in this artificial world. Cheers!

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Have you noticed that it's nobody's fault anymore? No one is responsible. For anything. Personal responsibility is becoming ancient history. It's no longer a virtue we value.

Everyone wants to fight for their rights. But few want to be held accountable for their behavior. For their personal choices. Does life actually work that way? Has it ever? 

I'm wading into that idea today with a point of view that the lack of personal responsibility is the greatest threat facing humanity. Not terrorism. No pandemics. Not climate change.

And yes. I'll take responsibility for my words. 😂

SHOW LINKS:

• Hope Partners International
• The Prime Belief | Article by Mark Manson
• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F@$k

Comments? Questions? I'd love to hear from you.

• Contact Timothy Eldred

Send us a text message. We'd love to hear from you!

Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.