What are the concerns involved and the complex challenges of designing technology for a better, safer life? What is the flip side of the quantified self? How to ensure the agency, autonomy and control users have over their data? How does it support skills like reflection and self-regulation? Two researchers discuss self-monitoring in relation to autonomous learning processes, and the utility of user-centered media design in situations like the process of recovering from the trauma of intimate partner violence. We talk with Laura Uusitalo and Eva Durall about their MA and PhD research projects in the Department of Media, digging into complexities of the participatory design of these tools. We examine the needs of populations in high-risk of abuse, the opportunities and risks that the information technology enables in abusive situations, and cultural implications of the increasing technological mediation of our private lives.