Tech Leader Pro

Stand back and let them fail (TLP 2024w27)

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As leaders our instinct is to help others we see failing, however you cannot help someone who refuses your help.

Notes:

  • Today I want to talk with you about why, sometimes, you need to step back and let people fail.
  • When I first started to study karate, one of the black belts I was sparring noticed I was eager to attack, instead of waiting to defend.
  • He paused and told me "John, don't feel obligated to attack".
  • I often think about that advice, and how it can be expanded to be "don't feel obligated to intervene".
  • As a leader, a coach, and a parent: I see people failing all of the time, or following strategies that is likely to lead them to failure.
  • Normally I will intervene, especially if it is someone I care about like my kids or a student.
  • However, whenever I am met with a stubborn response, increasingly I find myself stepping back and thinking "well, I tried".
  • You cannot help someone who refuses your help.
  • Back in 2021, I wrote the following blog entry: Letting stubborn people fail - https://techleader.pro/a/550-Letting-stubborn-people-fail
  • I will read that to you now...
  • We have another saying in karate, "feeling is believing", meaning you need to feel the impact of a technique applied against your before you believe in its effectiveness.
  • Bad strategies followed by stubborn people often follow a similar path: those people need to feel the pain of the impact before they believe it was a bad idea.
  • What I am working on this week:
    • Busy with my day job.
    • Media I am enjoying this week:
      • Shipwreak by Charles Logan.

        • Notes and subscription links are here: https://techleader.pro/a/652-Stand-back-and-let-them-fail-(TLP-2024w27)

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        Tech Leader ProBy John Collins