Starborn Parenting Podcast

Meta just agreed to an $18 billion settlement with 29 states over claims that Instagram and Facebook were built to hook kids. Yes, they are actively trying to addict your kids. So what exactly did they agree to change, and what does it tell us about how these apps work on our kids? Rick and Madeline break down the settlement, from the new two-hour daily limit and overnight lockout to hidden like counts and the end of the default algorithmic feed. Then they translate it all through a behavior science lens and describe what these companies are doing to get your kids addicted.

Some kids get picked first and some get picked last, and it usually isn't personality. It's social skills, which means they can be taught. Last week Rick and Madeline covered the Core 10 for parents. This week they flip it and walk through the Core 10 social skills your child needs.

The 10 break into four groupings: respect and gratitude, responding to feedback and cooperating, communication and connection, and coping with stress and big emotions. Rick and Madeline cover the research linking early peer relationships to friendships and school performance years later, why "be more respectful" doesn't teach anything, and how to turn each skill into a pinpoint your child can actually practice.

Your homework: pick one skill, teach it, practice it with your child at home before they take it to the playground, and collect data. Expect progress to come in waves.

The Core 10 for kids are listed below, along with the studies mentioned in the episode. You can find more in Dr. Kubina's book, Why Your Kid Does That. www.starbornpress.com

You have about ten years as your kid's main social teacher, and then the job goes to their friends, their phone, and whoever else shows up. Nobody arrives with social skills built in; kids learn them, which means someone teaches them, on purpose or by accident. In this episode, Rick and Madeline turn the camera on the parents and walk through the Core 10 social skills you should model at home, sorted into four groups: staying calm and pleasant, becoming someone your kids want to spend time with, teaching instead of scolding, and the shared time and consistency that holds everything together.

www.starbornthrive.com

Why doesn't my 3 year old listen? Why does my toddler hit and throw things? Rick and Madeline take three real posts from struggling parents and break each one down using behavior science.  

Inside: the four questions to ask before you react, the four functions of behavior, why "oppositional defiant" and "mean" are terrible words for a toddler, and how timeouts can accidentally reward the behavior you're trying to stop. Plus a homework assignment you can start tonight. 

Send us your own situation: [email protected]

The Surgeon General just called screen time a public health crisis, yikes! Rick and Madeline break down why screens outcompete everything else in your kid's life. Note, it's the same variable-reinforcement schedule that runs a slot machine. They also talk about what works instead: changing the environment before the fight starts, replacing the behavior instead of just removing it, and making screen time earned. Don't think there is a problem with your kid. They're responding exactly the way the thing was designed to make them respond. 

Sticker charts get a bad rap, but the problem usually isn't the chart. Rick and Madeline break down token economies: bribe vs. reward, the four decisions that build a working system, and the six mistakes that quietly kill it. Plus chimpanzees, punch cards, and a one-week homework assignment. What a ride!

The follow-up to Sofia and Christina in Ep. 7. Rick and Madeline zoom out: how common picky eating is, what the research says about outgrowing it, why it happens, and three strategies parents can start tonight. Closes with red flags and when to get help. 

Growing up, Sofia only ate a handful of foods. Then as a young teenager, with high school coming and anxiety building about eating at friends' houses, she did something surprising: she asked for help. Sofia and her mom Christina, a board-certified behavior analyst, join us to share how food exposures, a fear ladder, and a lot of patience changed everything. Now Sofia is headed to college, trying new foods without a second thought, and she's here to tell us what made the difference.

Not every behavior your kid does needs a lecture, and trying to fix everything can burn you out. In this episode, Rick and Madeline break down the four "behavior buckets" every parent should know: behaviors to grow, small stuff to let go, patterns to teach through, and crisis moments where safety comes first. Plus: the five-year test for picking your battles, Hungry Hungry Hippos "cheating," and the pencil story Rick would rather forget. New episodes every week as we help you build better humans.

"Put your shoes on. Put your shoes on. I told you, put your shoes on!" Sound familiar? Rick and Madeline dig into why nagging feels like it works (it's the same intermittent reinforcement that keeps people pulling slot machine levers) and what it costs the trust bank you share with your child. They share what animal trainers can teach us about changing behavior without nagging, plus practical alternatives like specific requests, fair timing, heads-ups before transitions, rewarding small steps, and offering choices.