Stargatezing

The team battle the tropical sun to find Aquaman all dried up from wraith sucking. The doctor whines about ethics or something.

Kathy's having a bad day. Mary's having bad day. Vala and Daniel are having a bad day. Fannis is having a terrible day. Harrid and Sallis are having the worst day ever. We hope you're having a better day than everyone over here is.

The Daedalus crew tries turning it off and on and off and on and off and on. Sheppard gets a promotion. Caldwell can't run Atlantis, but at least he has a recliner. Mary and Kathy discuss the pros and cons of being sitting ducks and, most importantly, Kathy's pro-blow stance.

New cast members, new team, new enemies, and a new way to torture people. Great! All things no one asked for! I guess maybe someone might have asked for it. But we didn't ask for it. Probably no Stargate fans asked for it. So no one important could have asked for it. But here we are.

Assistant Director Walter Ski- Ahem, Colonel Caldwell comes to the rescue! Mary talks about cold braaaains! Zelenka understands buffer time! Ford gets weird (even more so than usual). And, this is a pro-union podcast, Rodney.

Our heroes have hung up their zats but the show must go on for reasons. New guy Mitchell is as bummed as we are that SG-1 is gone. Vala ruins Daniel's plans so he joins in on the whining. Pwalter, always there when we need him most, keeps the continuity and the SGC going.

Oh no! Our plan failed and the wraith are coming. We need to evacuate! No wait! It's the SGC! We're saved! Oh no! All our plans fell apart and we're surrounded by wraith!

Teal'c kills Daniel! Jack and Sam make out! Rodney keeps trying to make Gateship happen! Does any of it really matter if it occurs in an alternate timeline? Who knows?

Teyla is accused of espionage, there's a surprise wraith in the city, one of our favorite characters dies, Atlantis' only hope of defense is too glitchy to stand up to the wraith ships, and Mary spilled her protein shake. It's bad. It's all bad.

SG-1 screws up the timeline and everything is the worst. Sam and Daniel wear boring earth tones, Jack is filthy, Rodney is a creep, Kinsey is president and there's no stargate. Good job, guys.