After a powerful Jaffa nemesis we've never heard of kills some other Jaffa, Teal'c recovers from his injuries and goes on a revenge quest. This all takes anywhere from several weeks to several years. Who knows?

A very selfish man strands Team ShRRT on an old space station with a very desperate man and little chance for survival. Will they get out of this? Who gets to save the day this time? Why does the air flow the wrong way?

SG 80% is bad at being terrorists. Their hostages are bad at being hostages. The government leaders are bad at listening to science. And the one security guard caught in the middle of all this is bad at being a security guard. It's an episode full of ineptitude.

The super cool game we suddenly learned Sheppard and Rodney have been playing for years with no previous hint is not a game at all. They've been messing with people's lives! Who would have guessed the Ancients were arrogant assholes and not awesome gamers? We would. We would have guessed that.

Mitchell and Vala get their cliche on at his high school reunion. Dr. Lee is the coolest guy at the conference. Daniel nerds out in a library. It's all fun and games till someone gets killed. Actually, it's still kinda fun and games while people get killed.

Standing on a pedal stool, Rodney learns he has more in common with the ancients than he thought. Special powers, big appetites, oh my! The team races to find a relevant thing for Teyla to do and Ronon is also there!

SG-80% is surprised that Daniel is a prior. We're surprised that they're surprised because he sounds exactly like Daniel. Daniel is surprised that no one trusts him. Everyone is surprised that he's surprised at this. No one is surprised that Woolsey sucks.

What's better than an episode featuring one unlikeable character? An episode featuring two unlikeable characters! Lucius is back and he continues to suck, but at least he's not drugging and taking advantage of women this time. Kolya's back too! But he sure would have been better off trying to retake the genii rather than obsessing over one dude from Earth.

Sam finds herself in an alternate universe where everything is terrible. Teal'c is incommunicado, Vala's in jail, Mitchell's a paralyzed alcoholic, Other Sam has exploded on the SGC walls, and Landry is in the middle of establishing himself as dictator. But for all this terribleness, there is one glorious, fantastic difference. Hammond still runs the SGC! He does bow down to power-hungry President Landry, but we'll ignore that and just enjoy seeing him again.

It starts like a ghost story, it ends like Star Trek IV, and has some kind of solar flare disaster movie in the middle. This episode may not know what it's trying to be, but we know that we like it.