Empathy By Design

Start Small, Spiral Deeper: Tiny Signals, DBT and the Nervous System


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Short description (for Apple/Spotify)

Tiny, well-placed practices—what we call Tiny Signals—can gently rewire the nervous system. In this episode, Julie and therapist Sarah O’Brien, LCSW blend BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits, polyvagal theory, and DBT to show how micro-moments become durable skills for self-soothing, boundaries, and repair. Expect clear examples you can use today, from a one-breath phone pause to a hum on the exhale after tough calls.

Full episode description

If 2017–2024 was the era of boundaries, let 2025 be the year of rupture and repair—with ourselves and each other. Julie introduces Tiny Signals, micro-practices anchored to daily routines that cue “safe enough” in the body. Guest Sarah O’Brien, LCSW maps those signals onto DBT—Mindfulness, Emotion Regulation, Distress Tolerance, and Interpersonal Effectiveness—showing why validation and predictability matter more than motivation. Learn how to insert 30-second resets into real life (inbox urgency, co-parenting calls, late-night doom-scrolling) and why great digital health design must go beyond content libraries to scaffold behavior change.

You’ll learn:

  • Why predictability wires safety better than willpower

  • How DBT validation keeps the learning channel open

  • Two plug-and-play practices: the phone pause breath and a post-call hum

  • A 7-day Tiny Signals Starter Pack you can begin tonight

  • How to hold boundaries without absorbing other people’s urgency

    Try it now: Place a hand on chest and belly. Inhale through the nose, hum the exhale. Whisper: “Yes. I have time.”

    Chapter guide

    00:00 Welcome & why “start small, spiral deeper”

    02:05 Tiny Signals & roots in Tiny Habits (+ Ayurvedic daily rhythms)
    07:40 Polyvagal 101: safety, threat, shutdown
    12:10 DBT in four skill families (and why validation is the intervention)
    18:30 Where Tiny Signals + DBT meet
    25:15 Two micro-practices you can anchor today
    31:20 Boundaries in urgent systems: “Their urgency ≠ my emergency”
    38:10 Harm reduction: pairing a healthy cue with an old coping pattern
    44:25 Designing digital health beyond content libraries
    52:00 7-Day Tiny Signals Starter Pack
    57:30 Resources & next episode teaser (HR + nervous-system lens)

    Transcript

    Guest

    Sarah O’Brien, LCSW is a trauma-informed therapist, writer, and trainer based in Virginia specializing in anxiety, substance use, and trauma-related disorders, with deep experience delivering and teaching DBT.

    Who this episode is for

    People with lived trauma experience, clinicians, educators, HR/benefits leaders, and anyone who wants nervous-system care that is doable, ethical, and compassionate.

    Links & CTAs
    • Explore Daily Tiny Signals, Flows, and Immersives in the Integrate app

    • Find Sarah O’Brien, LCSW via the Integrate Affinity Group or her site.

    • Subscribe to Empathy by Design for more trauma-informed, behavior-design conversations.

      Keywords: Tiny Habits, Polyvagal Theory, DBT, Trauma-Informed, Nervous System, Behavior Design, Validation, Distress Tolerance, Boundaries, Digital Health Design

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