Debbie Harrell grew up learning that the safest way to move through life was to stay quiet, responsible and unnoticed. In a home marked by emotional abuse and instability, she found refuge in school, work, friendships and the private space of her bedroom.

Those early lessons followed her into adulthood. Debbie began recognising familiar dynamics in her relationships, while continuing to rely on hard work, independence and being useful to others. A spontaneous move to Catalina Island eventually gave her something different: a close-knit community, a place to raise her children and a stronger sense of belonging.

However, a succession of events placed enormous pressure on that stability - loss, health and surviving the Route 91 mass shooting in Las Vegas.

At first, she continued doing what she had always done: working, caring for others and carrying on. It was only later, after meeting with a PTSD specialist and eventually taking medical leave, that she began to recognise how much trauma she had accumulated long before the shooting.

In this candid and often humorous conversation, Debbie discusses:

• Growing up with emotional abuse and learning to stay small
• Finding belonging and raising her children on Catalina Island
• Repeated relationship dynamics and the effects of earlier experiences
• Losing her mother and grieving what their relationship had never been
• Serious health complications during what she calls her “year of suck”
• Surviving the Route 91 mass shooting and its lasting effects
• Losing her cousin to alcohol addiction
• Recognising accumulated trauma and finally taking medical leave
• Rethinking work, productivity and identity during the pandemic
• Moving into coaching, podcasting and peer support
• Questioning accepted ideas of what is “normal”
• Using practical grounding tools for anxiety and negative self-talk

Debbie’s story is not defined by one traumatic event. It is about accumulation: how childhood experiences, relationships, grief, health, work and sudden crisis can build upon one another, and how their impact may only become clear years later.

It is also about community, humour and learning that continuing to function is not always the same as being well.

About Debbie Harrell: Debbie Harrell is a resilience and intentional living expert. As founder of New World Normal, she helps values-driven women break free from self-doubt and “shoulds” to design aligned lives that inspire change in the world around them.

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