Steve Haynes (negotiator, mediator and trustee at the Reach charity) talks to Alastair about how his lived experience shaped his approach to negotiation. He discusses how growing up with an upper-limb difference and within multi-generational communities, shaped his perspectives that would prove to be an asset in his work. The conversation moves from practical negotiation tools (BATNA, push vs pull, value-trades and a cheeky “ask for the mats” tactic) to dealing with unconscious generational bias, reading power dynamics, and the simple discipline of listening to understand rather than listening to respond.

Steve Haynes Takeaways:

• Identify your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) before you sit down as it determines your power and strategy.
• Choose push or pull depending on your leverage: push when you have options, pull when you don’t.
• Hunt for value trades (what’s small to you, big to them) - that’s where deals are made.
• Don’t let assumptions run the meeting and listen to understand, not just to respond.
• When things get heated, steer everyone back to the objective - that common goal dissolves “us vs them”.
• Be realistic about what you can achieve; if you’re outgunned, get support or adjust expectations.

Steve Haynes Links

https://www.reach.org.uk

Generationally Speaking Links:

Generationally Speaking Website

Generationally Speaking on LinkedIn

Alastair on LinkedIn