The Upgraded Man

Stop Chasing, Start Leading: What Men Get Wrong About Relationships | A.D. the Kingmaker

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Most men don't lose their relationships because they stopped trying — they lose them because they never understood what actually creates lasting attraction and respect. In this episode, Chris sits down with A.D. the Kingmaker Dunbar, a former engineer who invested over $200,000 and years of study into understanding relationship dynamics from every angle imaginable — from Muslim men with multiple wives to former pimps and pickup artists. What he found will challenge almost everything men have been told about love, leadership, and being a "good guy."

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • The three types of men — peasants, good guys, and kings — and which one you're currently operating as
  • Why "happy wife, happy life" is a trap that produces some of the most miserable men alive
  • The power dynamic hiding in every relationship — and how men unknowingly hand over control without realizing it
  • Why your woman can't respect you more than you respect yourself — and how self-investment changes everything in a relationship
  • The midlife crisis reframe — why A.D. says men should "have the crisis now" instead of waiting until 50
  • The difference between leading and controlling — and why sexual attraction is the only real dividing line between the two
  • Why men are getting more mediocre results while doing more — and the business analogy that makes it undeniable
  • How to flip a failing relationship dynamic — including the one conversation A.D. says you should be having every month
  • Why testosterone is dropping across all species — and what it means for modern dating and marriage
  • How to love without attachment — and why being willing to walk away is actually the most loving thing a man can do

    • Whether you're single, in a relationship, or a husband looking to reignite what's been lost, this conversation is a wake-up call. A.D. doesn't do shame — but he does make you feel something that leads to a decision.

    Connect with A.D. the Kingmaker on all platforms: @adthekingmaker Resources for husbands and wives: thethirtydayfix.net/husband | thethirtydayfix.net/wife


    This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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    Our mission at The Upgraded Man is simple — help men upgrade every area of their life through real conversations, honest stories, and actionable insight from men who have done the work.

    The content on The Upgraded Man is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not constitute professional legal, financial, medical, or therapeutic advice. Always consult a qualified professional before making decisions based on information discussed on this podcast. 


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    The Upgraded ManBy Chris Anderson
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