CouplesTalk

Stop Piling On: The secret to being heard in conflict


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In this episode of Couples Talk, Nick and Naomi delve into the concept of 'piling on' during conflicts in relationships. They explore how this behavior can escalate arguments and lead to unresolved issues. Through relatable examples, they illustrate the negative impact of piling on and discuss strategies for effective conflict management, emphasizing the importance of addressing one issue at a time. The conversation also touches on personal reflections and experiences, highlighting the journey towards better communication and emotional regulation in relationships.

Takeaways

  • Piling on refers to bringing up multiple issues during a conflict.
  • This behavior often escalates arguments and leads to unresolved issues.
  • The Gottmans describe piling on as 'kitchen sinking'.
  • Emotional dysregulation can trigger piling on during conflicts.
  • Addressing one issue at a time can improve conflict resolution.
  • Vulnerability can foster better communication between partners.
  • Recognizing triggers from past experiences is crucial in managing conflicts.
  • Effective communication involves expressing needs without piling on grievances.
  • Conflict management requires practice and awareness of emotional states.
  • Building a safe space for discussions can enhance relationship dynamics.

Conflict Rescue Pack

https://naomilight.com/conflict-rescue-pack⁠


00:00 Introduction to Conflict Management

03:59 The Impact of Piling On

05:10 Dissecting Conflict Dynamics

10:17 Consequences of Piling On

15:43 Final Thoughts on Conflict Resolution

24:03 The Impact of Piling On in Relationships

27:26 Modeling Positive Conflict Resolution

33:02 Understanding Vulnerability in Intimacy

37:21 Personal Reflections on Conflict Management

45:39 Closing Thoughts and Resources


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--Please note: The content on CouplesTalk is for general educational and informational purposes only.

Neither Naomi, Nick or any guest is your psychotherapist. Engaging with our content does not create a therapist-client relationship. We cannot provide individual advice, diagnosis, or treatment via these platforms. Our online work has ethical limits.

This is not a crisis service. If you need personalised therapy or are in crisis, please seek a qualified local professional or emergency services. Your well-being is paramount.

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