In Strange Country Ep. 89, co-hosts Beth and Kelly share their beauty secrets before candida auris takes over the planet and destroys us all. Might as well look good during the next pandemic, right? Here's what you can do: make your breasts look like pineapples, enamel your face, and slather on the spermaceti. Cook for 20 minutes, and viola! Cancer!

Cite your sources:

O'Neill, Therese. Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady's Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners. Little, Brown and Company, 2016.