I want to affirm my husband and honor him as God calls me to. But if I’m honest, offering encouragement isn’t easy amongst the list of unmet expectations, a busy life, and a heart posture of, “No one does this for me, and I’m ok.”

I’ve prayed the prayer that seems right: “Lord, change my husband, for Your kingdom come and will be done.” I’ve read the devotionals and done the other Godly things to check the boxes to coexist better. However, my heart remains frustrated at the unchanged things.

And yet… maybe God is asking me to start with my own heart. Perhaps I’m going about this wrong.

Surrender is where it begins. The outcome of my husband’s growth isn’t in my hands—and it won’t be from critiques or corrections.

As wives, we’ve been given the role of a “helper corresponding to him” (Genesis 2:18). Our greatest strategy shouldn’t be striving harder to change him, but instead, in our imitation of Jesus, to die to ourselves and follow His high standard and example.

When we release expectations that all too easily pivot into demands, we create space for God’s power to shape us from the core of our spirit. Romans 12:1 calls this our act of worship: offering ourselves as living sacrifices.

God has equipped us to be strong, suitable, and surrendered helpers, upheld by His grace. By staying anchored in Jesus, we can hope that a deep heart shift will occur—first in us, and then in our marriages.

Cheering alongside,

Brittany

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit courageousradiance.substack.com