In this deeply honest conversation, I sit down with Derek Barlow, professor at Bellum Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in St. Paul, to talk about strength, avoidance, and what happens when the armor we build no longer serves us.

Derek shares how exploring psilocybin on his own brought awareness to long held patterns of avoidance and a core belief of unworthiness, and how realizing he could not navigate those discoveries alone led him to seek intentional, supported care.

We talk about what it means to stop running from yourself, to honor core wounds without judgment, and how choosing support can soften not only the inner world, but relationships as well. Derek opens up about how this work deepened his connection with his wife and reshaped his understanding of strength.

This episode is a grounded, responsible conversation about awareness, readiness, and the courage it takes to meet yourself honestly without having to do it alone.

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