Two weeks before the Chicago Marathon, Maricella was terrified. Not just about the race—about what it would mean if she finished and felt destroyed, ashamed of her pace, not wanting to run again.

In this deeply personal episode, she shares what it's like to show up to something hard while feeling like a fraud. She reads her raw journal entries about training anxiety, works through shame about being "too slow," and tells the story of race day—including the sign that changed everything.

This isn't a story about hitting a time goal (she didn't). It's about discovering you're stronger than you thought. About the tools and reminders we need when we forget we're capable. About hope, shame, and doing hard things scared.

Maricella shares a tattoo on her leg that says "Braver, Stronger, Smarter"—from Winnie the Pooh, gotten after the hardest moments of her life. She talks about the bracelets she wore during the race, her partner who believed in her when she didn't believe in herself, and what it means to find your strength not in the outcome, but in showing up.

This is the final episode of 2025.

In this episode:

- Pre-race anxiety and the bonking pattern during training

- Working through shame about pace and performance

- Reading unfiltered journal entries from two weeks before the race

- The difference between facts and fears

- Hope as fuel vs. tying self-worth to outcomes

- Race day: the sign, the nausea, the finish

- Feeling strong instead of destroyed

- The anchors we carry (bracelets, tattoos, people)

- Feeling like a fraud even after accomplishing hard things

- Using tools (therapy, journaling, friends, AI) to see clearly

- Showing up scared and doing it anyway

Mentioned in this episode:

Win the Inside Game by Steve Magness

SAFE methodology (created by guest Jaqueline Oliveira-Cella)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit maricellaherrera.substack.com