Struggles. Everyone has them. Abuse. Depression. Poverty. Some struggles are harder to deal with than others. Our struggles have the potential to break us, but sometimes they can make us better. One thing that can greatly affect our lives is the death of a loved one. My mom has experienced the death of her mom, and it has affected her, causing her to remember the good and bad memories.

Death causes you to remember the times you spent with the person you lost, both good and bad. My mom, Lacey, has many good memories with her mom, Alice. Alice told Lacey about the concerts she went to as a kid. Lacey doesn’t remember all of what Alice told her, but she does remember the recipes Alice taught her. My mom tells me about her mom’s recipes a lot. Peach cobbler. Broccoli casserole. Spaghetti. Shepherd's pie. Chilli. There are lots of recipes. Another good remembrance that my mom told me is when Alice would play dolls with me, even though I couldn’t respond. These, however, are just good memories, there’s always the bad memories as well.

With the loss of a loved one, comes regret. The regrets could be just not talking with them or visiting them frequently. Regrets can put a lot of weight on your shoulders, especially when you know you can’t do anything about it. My mom has regrets, but they are surprisingly different. When Alice got sick, she was put on medications. “I thought she was taking medications to purposefully make her sleepy, but that wasn’t the case. The case was that she was actually sick” Lacey stated. My mom told me she would yell and scold Alice for taking the medications because of what she thought. Lacey said that if she could tell her anything, she would apologize for screaming at her. She never got to do that. Another thing she regrets is Alice not meeting my little sister, who was born later the year she passed, 2010. With these regrets, comes the way all these events affect you, and sometimes it disturbs your everyday life.

Losing a loved one changes us. When Alice died, we moved to Michigan to get away from all the memories Mississippi held. My mom didn’t talk to many people or make many friends because she didn't want to be hurt like that again. She didn’t even talk to her brother or sisters. She just stuck with her daughters and boyfriend. She doesn’t have any close friends outside the house.

The death of Alice extremely changed my mother. Death can lead to many things like memories and regrets. It also affects us in many ways. My mom lost her mom, and with that, a part of herself. She regrets things, but she still has her memories. Death can have a huge impact on our lives. My grandmother’s end may have completely changed my mom, but she pushes through it all and is still thriving. When something bad happens, don’t give up, always push through. Everyone has problems, even if it’s not noticeable. You are not alone.