In the powerful conclusion of this 3-part series, parent coach Jamie Buzelle drops THE mantra that will change your entire parenting perspective: "It's not personal, it's developmental." We're diving into Dr. Becky's game-changing airplane pilot analogy, why you have more patience with other people's kids than your own, and the three—and ONLY three—reasons behind every single behavior your child exhibits. Plus, Jamie gets beautifully vulnerable about her own journey, pushback from family, and what it really means to reparent yourself while raising your son.

Do you feel personally attacked when your child says something rude? Does their "disrespectful" behavior feel like a direct assault on your worth as a parent? Are you harder on yourself than you'd ever be on another mom at the playground? Here's the truth, mama: You're taking it personally when it's actually developmental. Your child isn't trying to hurt you—they're communicating an unmet need, a missing skill, or a big feeling. This episode will help you stop internalizing every tantrum, eye roll, and defiant moment as evidence that you're failing. Because you're not failing—you're just missing the decoder ring.

After listening, you'll be able to:

Picture This: You're on a plane hitting major turbulence. What do you need most? To hear from the pilot, right? When that calm, confident voice comes on and says, "Hey folks, we've hit a rough patch. We're going up 10,000 feet—smooth sailing from there," you instantly relax.

Now imagine that same pilot getting on the intercom and panicking: "OH MY GOD, TURBULENCE! THIS IS AWFUL! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!" Everyone on that plane would lose it.

You are that pilot for your child. When they're in the middle of a meltdown (their "turbulence"), they need you to be the sturdy, calm voice that says: "I've got this. I see you. I believe you. You are really upset. I believe you. And I still love you. And we'll get through this together."

That signals safety. That's co-regulation in action. (Thank you, Dr. Becky, for this perfect analogy!)

Jamie drops this truth bomb: When you're at the playground and another child is having a tantrum or behaving badly, you don't get triggered. You look at them with patience and think, "Ah, they're having a hard time."

But when YOUR child does the exact same behavior? Your nervous system goes into overdrive.

What does this tell you? It's not about the behavior—it's about YOUR story, YOUR childhood, YOUR beliefs about what your child's behavior says about YOU as a parent. That other kid at the playground isn't carrying all your baggage about being "good enough" as a mom. Your kid is.

The solution? Find your "anchor"—the thing that brings you back to the present moment when you feel yourself starting to spiral. Jamie's is telling herself "You're safe." Natalie's is visualization and deep breathing. What's yours?

Jamie shares something beautifully vulnerable: Every time she gives her son an opportunity she didn't have as a child, she's also giving "little Jamie" that same gift.

She grew up deeply shamed for her mistakes as a teenager—never hearing "You messed up, but you're still a great kid. Your worth isn't your worst choice." So now? She's intentional about separating her son's behavior from his identity.

The language shift that matters: ❌ "You're being so disrespectful!" ✅ "You made a bad choice, but you're still a pretty awesome kid. I know next time you'll make a better choice. And if you don't, that's okay too—you're a kid. You're supposed to mess up."

This isn't just about your child—it's about healing yourself too.

Jamie guarantees that EVERY SINGLE BEHAVIOR can be traced back to one of three things:

That's IT. Your child isn't being "disrespectful" or "rude" or "taking advantage" of you on purpose. Put on your Sherlock Holmes hat and investigate with curiosity instead of taking it personally.

Example: "My son has really low frustration tolerance" = Now you have something to work on! You can build skills around frustration tolerance one baby step at a time.

Coaching programs are 12 weeks minimum for a reason—sustainable change happens through small shifts, not complete overhauls.

Jamie's advice: Pick ONE thing to do differently this week:

Watch how that child lights up when you notice something that small. Build on THAT instead of constantly correcting the negative.

Natalie shares her brilliant technique from when her kids were little: She'd personify big emotions. "Oh, cranky bear is out today!" Then when the child calmed down, they'd literally throw imaginary "cranky bear" out the window together.

Why this works: It shows the child that the emotion is separate from WHO THEY ARE. They're not "a bad kid"—they're a good kid experiencing a hard emotion. Huge difference.

In the rapid-fire Q&A, Jamie opens up about:

What makes life fulfilling for her: "Following my passion—helping people and being someone who truly sees and hears others. If we didn't use money as currency, I'd do this for free."

How she'll know she succeeded as a parent: "Years from now, when my son no longer HAS to be around me but still WANTS to be around me. When I'm invited into his life not out of obligation but because he genuinely wants me there."

What she tells herself during hard times: "It's not personal." Even when family and friends have pushed back on her career as a parent coach, even when she's faced unexpected criticism—she reminds herself that other people's beliefs about her aren't personal. They're about whatever's going on for THEM.

The one mantra to tattoo in the hospital: "It's not personal. It's developmental."

"If you evaluate people based on their worst choice on their worst day, they start to believe that about themselves. And kids believe it faster." - Jamie Buzelle

"Every single piece of behavior can be tracked back to an unmet need, a skill they don't have, or a feeling. That's it." - Jamie Buzelle

"You are not your worth. Your personhood is not the worst choice you've ever made in your life." - Jamie Buzelle

"When you're at the playground and another kid is misbehaving, you don't get triggered. But when YOUR kid does it? Your nervous system goes crazy. That tells you everything about what you need to work on." - Jamie Buzelle

🌟 Join our FREE Mom Life Uncomplicated Community! Connect with other moms who are learning to stop taking behavior personally and start parenting with confidence. Expert parent coaches are waiting to support you—no judgment, just practical help. 👉 Visit nataliemccabe.com and click the Community tab

📞 Ready to find YOUR anchor and stop the spiral? Book a FREE 30-minute coaching discovery call with Natalie. We'll identify what's triggering your nervous system and create a personalized plan to help you stay sturdy when your kids lose it. 👉 nataliemccabe.com - click "Book a Call"

📖 Want more on separating behavior from identity? Get the first chapter of Sink or Swim Parenting FREE and learn how to build unshakeable self-esteem in your child (and yourself!). 👉 Available at nataliemccabe.com

📚 Pre-order Sink or Swim Parenting for Natalie's complete roadmap to raising confident, emotionally intelligent kids—without losing yourself in the process.

🎯 Connect with Jamie Buzelle:

🎧 Missed Parts 1 & 2? Go back and binge the entire series! This conversation builds on itself—you don't want to miss a single insight from Jamie's incredible journey and expertise.

💌 A Note from Natalie:

This conversation with Jamie has been everything I hoped it would be—raw, honest, science-backed, and deeply practical. If you walked away from this 3-part series with just ONE thing, let it be this:

Your child's behavior is not a referendum on your worth as a parent.

They're not trying to hurt you. They're trying to TELL you something. Your job isn't to be perfect—it's to be sturdy, curious, and committed to showing up even when it's hard.

You've got this, mama. And you don't have to do it alone.