You say you like a firm hand or completely submissive person, really all the time...not so much in understanding and taking a deeper dive it may be correct sentiment but also wrong as we know most like a bit of sugar coating before dominant and submissive actions that may require a complete opposite of what you like, and before you look for greener fields, could you own /disliked prospect be perfect with understanding your complexity of being both in needs, let's think on that conflict resolution and life the 40 + year couples and how and where the Dom's and Sub had to be the opposite to achieve daily.