Successful Relationship with Emma

Most partners in relationships believe themselves to be generally a supportive partner. They have an idea of what being supportive means, and believe they are living up to that idea.

Also, most partners believe they are more supportive of their partner in their relationship than their partner is of them. Or that they provide more support than their partner does.

Which leaves most partners feeling fairly unsupported in their relationship.

Combine this with the fact that our relationship is one of the most impactful aspects of our life in our overall wellbeing, success, and happiness, and we have a serious gap in our hands that breeds struggle.

Our relationship is the cornerstone of our human experience.

Making support a super important attribute to cultivate in our relationship for it to feel and be the best it can be.

The problem is that most partners think they are being supportive, but their partners are not feeling supported.

Leaving us with the conclusion that they might not really know how to best be supportive.

In this episode, I talk about how partners believe they are supportive in their relationship but how in actuality they are not. Their words, actions or how they show up is not one of a supportive partner.

I offer how to address this from an empowering position so both partners win.

I share 10 specific ways in how partners are not supportive in their relationship that create a life of struggle instead of a life of blissful success, and how to change that.

The 10 ways line up with the new edition of the Successful Relationship Strategy™, providing a full spectrum upgrade to uplevel your relationship.

In today’s episode, I cover:

How partners believe they are supportive but how they might not be

10 ways in which partners are not supportive and how to change that

How to empower yourself and get more support from your partner

The new edition of the Successful Relationship Strategy™

How to advocate for and create a successful and radiant relationship

The importance of mindset, communication, patterns, connection, and partnership

How to shift from struggle to a life of connection and success

The Practice 25th and Podcast 2nd Anniversaries, with special gifts and offers

10 Ways Partners Are Not Being Supportive — and How to Shift Them

The way to support our partner isn’t what we think it is and what we’re giving.

We might actually be making things worse in our relationship and our life completely unaware.

The key to being a truly supportive partner is in how our mindset, communication, patterns, rhythms, and systems support our partner and life together.

Commitment & Mindset

Unsupportive: Undermine

Shift: Update Perspective

Supportive: Stay dedicated to figuring out what works for both of you

1. Failing to Support Overall Success and Wellbeing

This can look like doubting, being absent, neglecting goals, or not backing our partner’s dreams.

Shift: Reframe expectations and beliefs; hold a success-oriented mindset for each other.

We want to support our partner’s overall success and wellbeing rather than undermine their ability to thrive.

2. Not Allowing Our Partner to Be Authentic

This happens when we force our partner to fit roles or don’t let them be themselves.

Shift: Accept and support authenticity; embrace differences instead of controlling.

Our partner is their own person. Supporting them means allowing them to show up authentically rather than trying to make them fit our idea of who they should be.

Communication & Alignment

Unsupportive: Oppose

Shift: Seek Understanding

Supportive: Be mindful to honor both sides of the experience

3. Gaslighting, Dismissing, or Invalidating

This can make our partner feel invalidated, crazy, or “too much.”

Shift: Use communication skills and tools; validate each other’s experience.

Being supportive means making space for our partner’s experience and working toward understanding rather than dismissing or invalidating it.

4. Refusing Repair or Creating Disconnection

Withdrawing, stonewalling, and letting ruptures fester creates more distance and disconnection.

Shift: Own mistakes and communicate for win-win; initiate reconnection after conflict.

Repair is an important part of being supportive. We need to be willing to address what happened and reconnect instead of allowing the rupture to continue.

Consciousness & Dynamic

Unsupportive: Trigger

Shift: Create Flow

Supportive: Pay attention to capacity, and own and address patterns

5. Lack of Regulation — Reactivity vs. Responsiveness

Explosive reactions and mood-driven behavior can make it difficult to feel safe and supported in the relationship.

Shift: Practice self-care for self-regulation; meet our own needs.

When we take responsibility for our own regulation and needs, we have more capacity to respond rather than react.

6. Ignoring Our Partner’s Needs

This can look like missing cues, disregarding requests, or being focused primarily on ourselves.

Shift: Listen, notice, and respond with attunement; show care in real time.

Support means paying attention to our partner and responding to what matters to them in the moment.

Connection & Intimacy

Unsupportive: Withhold

Shift: Expand Nourishing

Supportive: Establish nourishing rhythms for connection and fun

7. Not Showing Up for What Matters

This includes missing important events or not backing our partner’s priorities.

Shift: Actively check what matters; prioritize presence and follow-through.

Our partner needs to experience that we are there for the things that matter to them.

8. Not Being Available for Fun, Joy, or Shared Experiences

Always being “too busy” or emotionally checked out can gradually drain connection and joy from the relationship.

Shift: Build rhythms that include joy, play, and connection; delight them.

A supportive relationship isn’t only about handling problems and responsibilities. It also needs shared experiences, fun, joy, and connection.

Collaboration & Partnership

Unsupportive: Block

Shift: Help

Supportive: Set up systems to help collaborate and create a shared life

9. Evading Real Support

Offering words without action or not backing them up with practical help can leave our partner feeling unsupported.

Shift: Offer both emotional and tangible support; back up words with consistent action.

Support needs to be something our partner can actually experience—not simply something we say.

10. Making Things Harder Instead of Smoother

Adding stress, creating chaos, and creating unnecessary obstacles can turn everyday life into a struggle.

Shift: Implement supportive structures and systems that make life smoother.

Our partnership should help create a shared life that works better, rather than continually adding unnecessary friction.

Creating a Life of Support and Success

Shifting these 10 unsupportive ways creates a life of connection and success instead of struggle.

The goal isn’t to criticize ourselves or our partner.

It is to become aware of the ways we may be showing up that aren’t actually creating the support we believe we are giving.

From there, we can shift our mindset, communication, patterns, rhythms, and systems.

We can empower ourselves and advocate for the relationship we want to create.

And when both partners do this, both partners win.

This is part of the new edition of the Successful Relationship Strategy™, providing a full spectrum upgrade to uplevel your relationship.

Listen to the episode to learn how to get more support from your partner as well.

Enjoy!

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

Special Celebration Marriage Breakthrough Essentials Bundle

We are honored to serve you and thrilled to share meaningful milestones and growth with you today.

We are celebrating our Practice 25th and our Podcast 2nd Anniversaries, along with the debut of the new edition of the Successful Relationship Strategy™.

Celebrate with us by accessing this special anniversary gift designed to help you uplevel your relationship and create lasting love.

Curated Podcast Power Series Video Gallery

Binge-worthy episodes hand-picked to inspire lasting change:

What Struggling Couples Can Learn From Successful Couples (Ep.32)

How to Be Partners in Love (Ep.33)

How to Be Partners in Life (Ep.34)

Curated Relationship Transformational PDFs Vault

Actionable guides to deepen intimacy and strengthen partnership:

The Relationship Enrichment Mini-Course

Uplevel Your Relationship, Uplevel Your Reality

20 Brutal Truths About Marriage

10 Golden Truths About Marriage

The Marriage Breakthrough Sessions Package

For personalized work, there is a special anniversary offer to help transform and uplevel your relationship.

All-inclusive Private Sessions Package:

7 one-hour private sessions to be used within 3 months of purchase

Full access to the Radiance Membership for 3 months

30% OFF the regular rate

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

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Summer gives us a natural opening for reflection and recalibration. There’s more space, more sun, and more energy to shift the patterns that aren’t working. In our relationships, that means we can use this season as a reset point, to choose something different, more intentional, and more connected.

In this episode, I walk you through the 5 elements of our Successful Relationship Strategy™ and show you how to use each one to up-level your relationship. We look at what’s common in struggling and “just fine” relationships… and what becomes possible when you start doing things differently.

Whether things feel okay or you’re longing for more, this episode will help you identify how to reset your rhythms and invest differently so you can create the love you really want.

In today’s episode, I cover:

The 5 core elements of a thriving relationship

How average habits quietly cap your connection

What an extraordinary relationship actually looks like

Tangible ways to elevate each element this summer

How these elements at the heart of lasting love

At the end of the episode, I also guide you on how to use summer energy to amplify your relationship reset, from playful rituals to meaningful conversations.

You’ll walk away with a clear framework to assess where you’re at, what might need attention, and how to take aligned action to elevate your relationship from ordinary to extraordinary.

The Framework for Your Reset

1. Mindset & Meaning

The way we think about our relationship shapes how we experience it. Our beliefs, assumptions, expectations, and internal narratives can either create connection, or keep us locked in disempowering patterns.

In a Struggling Relationship – There’s blame, criticism, mind-reading, and unrealistic expectations. Partners often operate from old scripts, inherited beliefs, or rigid roles without examining what actually works.

In an Ordinary Relationship – People avoid big issues, tolerate disconnect, and operate from habit. There’s no intentional reframing, just a general “this is how it is.”

In an Extraordinary Relationship – Each partner takes ownership of their perspective, challenges limiting beliefs, and chooses a mindset that empowers them both. They define their own meaning around love, marriage, commitment, partnership, teamwork, roles, and expectations. And do so with clarity and mutual respect.

Reset – Reflect on what beliefs, expectations, or inherited definitions you’re bringing into your relationship. Where are you making assumptions? Where might those need to be updated?t life, be honest:

2. Communication & Alignment

Communication is more than talking, it’s how we connect, understand, and co-create.

In a Struggling Relationship – There’s defensiveness, withdrawal, constant miscommunication, or escalated fights. Repairs don’t happen or happen poorly.

In an Ordinary Relationship – Partners talk mostly about logistics. Emotional depth is rare. They’re not fully attuned or on the same page.

In an Extraordinary Relationship – Communication is intentional and kind. Partners stay curious, validate each other’s experiences, and repair quickly when needed. They speak from a grounded place and know how to collaborate under pressure.

Try this – Notice your communication patterns. Are you interrupting, shutting down, staying surface-level? What small shifts would make your conversations feel safer and more connective?

3. Clarity & Dynamics

Every couple has patterns but without awareness, those patterns run the show.

In a Struggling Relationship – Partners are reactive, constantly triggering each other and looping through unresolved issues. It’s chaotic and painful.

In an Ordinary Relationship – They brush issues aside or address them only at the surface. The same fights or emotional injuries repeat, and nothing truly changes.

In an Extraordinary Relationship – There’s deep personal work. Partners recognize patterns, take responsibility for their part, and stretch to meet each other with compassion. They use conflict as an opportunity for growth.

Try this – Track one pattern that keeps repeating. Is it a specific argument? A trigger point? A shutdown or explosion? Explore what it connects to and how you can tend to it more intentionally in yourself and together.

4. Connection & Intimacy

Real intimacy requires attention and it’s more than just physical. It’s about emotional presence, shared rituals, and co-created joy.

In a Struggling Relationship – There’s disconnection, minimal affection, poor or no sex life, and unresolved emotional distance.

In an Ordinary Relationship – Couples coexist. There may be affection and sex, but it feels routine. Emotional intimacy and closeness fades over time.

In an Extraordinary Relationship – There’s regular affection, meaningful connection, playfulness, flirtation, and physical intimacy that feels safe, satisfying and soul nourishing. Partners prioritize fun and nurturing.

Try this – Have a check-in about how connected you feel. Talk about what feels good, what’s missing, and what you’d each love more of, without blame.

5. Collaboration & Partnership

Love isn’t enough. A shared life needs a shared vision and goals, and a structure and systems for collaboration and co-creation.

In a Struggling Relationship – One person does it all, or everything is a mess. There’s resentment, imbalance, and lack of vision and support.

In an Ordinary Relationship – Roles are assumed but not clear. There’s minimal long-term planning and just enough structure to stay afloat.

In an Extraordinary Relationship – Partners co-create their life with intention. They set shared goals, divide responsibilities consciously, and have systems that reflect their values and strengths. There’s vision, direction, and smooth collaboration.

Try this – Have a “state of the union” talk. Review division of labor, shared visions, goals, routines, and where you each feel supported or not. What would help you feel more like a team?

A relationship reset isn’t about shooting for perfection, it’s about choosing better for a more aligned, joyful, and happy life. Where the partners find better ways of showing up for themselves and each other.

Summer gives us the perfect backdrop for change. We can ride the momentum of this energy into what we long to experience and create.

Let this season be the moment you pause, reflect, and recommit to your relationship. so that you can move into the rest of the year more aligned, connected, and on purpose…

You get to decide what kind of love you want.Now’s the time to build it.

Listen to the episode for weaving in a summer theme into your reset. Enjoy!

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

1-Pg Downloadables:

-Find Your Purpose Exercise

-Relationship Collaboration System

-Connecting for Change Guidelines

Episode 16: Libido Differences, Rekindling Desire and Sexual Satisfaction

Episode 28: Creating More Harmony and Passion in Your Relationship

Playlist: Successful Relationship Strategy™

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of the host’s.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

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Many of us want emotional safety, personal growth, and deeper connection, but we often feel stuck in creating the changes we seek.

As we launch into the second part of the year, this is the perfect time to do a mid-year reset. So, we address the patterns keeping us stuck and freeing ourselves to create a new version of ourselves and a new reality.

Our best life…

Often, we try to muscle our way into changing our circumstances, into creating the relationship we desire.

But all our effort is operating from the conscious, surface level, when we mostly operate from habit, blueprints, and templates from a conscious and subconscious level.

No matter how hard we try, we end up defaulting back to our programming.

The key to lasting change is depatterning our programming, deconstructing our blueprint, so we can install instructions we want to create what we desire.

There are three core ego patterns that shape our identity, our perceptions, and how we show up in the world.

Unless we are aware and proactive about these patterns, they are bound to limit our potential.

This episode explores the three ego patterns that quietly run the show, and how you can begin to dissolve them by creating a new identity from the inside out.

This new you is the new version of you that creates your new reality, your best life…

In today’s episode, I cover:

The three ego patterns that keep us stuck

The Lack Pattern, Attachment Pattern, and Control Pattern

How these patterns shape our identity, perceptions, and reality

How ego patterns show up in relationships, work, and inner dialogue

Identifying the gap between our current reality and what we want to experience

Choosing a new version of ourselves

Using challenge-based repatterning to interrupt old patterns

Making small changes that anchor the new version of ourselves

Creating a life that matches the new you

Structure, stability, discipline, and the masculine reset

Using a mid-year reset to create our Best Life

The Three Ego Patterns That Keep You Stuck

The Lack Pattern

This pattern keeps you focused on what’s missing.

It convinces you there’s never enough:

Not enough time, support, money, love, success, attention.

No matter what your partner does, or how much you achieve, it doesn’t feel like enough.

This pattern creates a constant sense of emptiness.

Which leads to sadness, grief, loneliness, aloneness, hopelessness, depression, and so on.

These can lead to focusing on fairness and double standards, judging imperfections, and self-numbing—the flight response.

The Attachment Pattern

This pattern clings to how things should be.

It’s rigid and full of expectations:

How people should behave, how things should unfold, how love should look.

This pattern creates a constant sense of yearning.

Which leads to let down, disappointment, resentment, frustration, anger, and so on.

These can lead to demanding apologies, owning the other, and getting stuck on expectations—the fight response.

The Control Pattern

This pattern makes you believe it’s all on you.

You micromanage everything.

You can’t trust others to show up.

You’re constantly fixing, orchestrating, over-functioning.

This pattern creates a constant feeling of nervousness.

Which leads to fear, stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, anxiety, and so on.

These can lead to over-functioning, micromanaging, doing everything ourselves, and not accepting help—the freeze response.

How These Patterns Show Up in Everyday Life

These ego patterns aren’t abstract. They play out in your real, daily experiences.

You feel like nothing is enough, even when everything looks fine on paper.

You get frustrated that your partner isn’t doing things “right.”

You silently resent having to do everything yourself.

These patterns distort your perception.

They filter how you interpret reality.

And most importantly, they shape how you show up in your relationships, in your work, and in your inner dialogue.

Identity Creates Reality

Your ego pattern becomes your identity.

And your identity is the filter of your experience which creates your reality.

If you’re operating from lack, you’ll experience scarcity everywhere.

If you’re operating from attachment, you’ll constantly be let down.

If you’re operating from control, you’ll live in a loop of pressure and burnout.

If you want to shift your reality, you have to shift your identity first.

What Needs to Change?

If we want to create a new relationship and a new life, we have to identify the gap we are trying to bridge.

Take inventory of your current life and be honest:

What feels stuck?

What feels like it’s not working?

Where are you in friction with yourself, others, or your circumstances?

Then ask:

What would I love to experience instead?

What would a better reality actually feel like?

What would be different?

And here’s the key:

Who would I need to become to create that reality?

Choose a New You

This isn’t just about letting go of old patterns per se.

It’s about choosing the future version of you and stepping into it.

Ask yourself:

Who is the version of you that already lives the reality you want?

What do they wear?

How do they speak?

How do they move through the day?

Give this version of you a name.

Make it playful.

Make it bold.

Then start showing up as them, one decision, one habit, one interaction at a time.

The Transformation Hack

As you try to install this new version of you, you have to do it in malleable and fertile ground.

You can’t just force a new way.

You don’t change patterns by fighting them.

The key is to disrupt all patterns, to create space for the new.

This is where challenge-based repatterning becomes powerful.

Something as simple as a 30-day challenge can begin to unravel old identity patterns and create space for the new version of you.

It doesn’t matter what the challenge is.

What matters is that it interrupts your norm.

It challenges thought, emotional, and behavioral patterns.

It promotes new thoughts, new feelings, and new behaviors.

And that rewires everything.

It allows new options to be installed.

Start Making Small Changes

Start showing up with the New Version of you to start making changes in your relationship and your life.

The new version of you will have very different ideas about what’s acceptable and what’s desired.

This might mean:

Noticing all the abundance in your life

Setting boundaries you’ve never set

Clarifying expectations to meet your needs

Speaking softer when you’d normally snap

Asking for help instead of doing it all yourself

Saying no to something that drains your energy

Every time you shift out of autopilot and into conscious choice, you’re dissolving the old and anchoring in the new.

Creating a Life That Matches the New You

Once you have clarity on the version of you that you’re becoming, map out what your life would now look like.

Ask yourself:

What needs to shift in your environment?

Your routines?

Your calendar?

Your work rhythms?

Your relationships?

You don’t need to change everything all at once.

Start with one or two areas.

Choose one change in each and make it real this week.

Structure, Stability, and the Masculine Reset

We are really going for it with this work.

There is so much more than meets the eyes with this process.

We are not just playing with a challenge and dreaming a new version of ourselves.

We are making it possible because we are repatterning our subconscious and unconscious—our mental and emotional patterns.

This new discipline is repatterning our relationship with the masculine parts of ourselves.

It’s a reparenting, a re-fathering, healing safety, stability, and security wounds.

This is the emotional part.

Giving yourself the masculine care you may have missed growing up:

Structure. Systems. Discipline.

And you’re not just healing old wounds either.

You’re building a stable foundation to support your feminine radiance, your personal power.

This is your 2025 reset.

This Is Your Mid-Year Reset

As we move into the second half of the year, it’s a natural time to reflect not just on what’s working or what isn’t, but on how we’re being in our lives.

Ask yourself:

Are we operating from patterns of lack, attachment, and control?

Are we reacting from old scripts?

Are we creating our lives with intention or defaulting to survival?

The second half of the year offers a clean slate.

A chance to shift gears.

Not by radically overhauling everything at once, but by reconnecting to what you value, what you want to feel, and how you want to show up.

This reset is an invitation to do things differently, to experience a personal transformation.

To take one small step toward the version of yourself you know you’re becoming, and creating the relationship and the life the new version of you wants to live.

Your Best Life…

Change doesn’t require force.

It requires awareness, choice, and repetition.

So as you move forward, ask yourself:

What am I ready to release?

What do I want to cultivate more?

How do I want to show up differently?

What would I do differently in my life?

And begin there gently, consistently, and with enough clarity to show up as the new you creating your next chapter this second part of the year.

You don’t have to become someone else.

You just have to return to the version of you that’s always been possible.

One aligned choice at a time.

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

Episode: How to Let Go of Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Patterns

Episode: Relational Patterns Affect Your Health and Wellbeing

1-Pg Downloadables:

List of 30-Day Challenges

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | X | Pinterest

People start relationships because they are interested in having a relationship. They go through a checklist of sorts to vet each other at its onset.

What they fail to do is to deepen their assessment as they progress in the relationship to ensure they are and stay aligned in creating a mutually satisfying relationship—and to intentionally work on creating a relationship they love.

A satisfying, radiant and successful relationship doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intentionality and nurturing.

There are key relationship and life areas that couples need to align on for the relationship to flourish.

And this is separate from doing their emotional dynamics work. Couples struggle in relationship because their programming interacts with each other, creating funky relationship patterns.

Partners need to align and be intentional about the business of life, so their emotional programs don’t trip up over the mundane and practical aspects of life.

So, if partners get ahead by identifying and getting on the same page about what they desire and want to create, there is less stuff to have friction and power struggle on as they go.

Just focusing on relationship milestones and moving things along is not enough to create a strong partnership and lasting love.

There are 8 specific relationship and marital topics that partners need to align on to ensure a smoother ride.

In today’s episode, I cover:

The 8 important topics couples need to discuss before marriage

Setting expectations and boundaries

Sharing daily life and responsibilities as a team

Creating financial freedom and financial trust

Building emotional and physical intimacy

Making family decisions

Creating fun and joy together

Balancing life and partnership

Clarifying your shared future vision

How alignment can prevent unnecessary friction and power struggles

Why these conversations are important regardless of where you are in your relationship

8 PreMarital Topics

Regardless of the partners’ ages, how long they’ve been together, if they are just dating, living together, or recently married, these topics need to be explored to make sure they are on the same page about their needs, expectations, and desires.

1. Setting Expectations

What feels safe, supportive, and respectful

This has to do with setting boundaries, being accountable, owning ourselves, and exploring and sharing expectations so both partners know where they stand and interact accordingly.

It includes ways to protect your bond and connection.

2. Sharing Daily Life

How to manage responsibilities as a team

This has to do with how to manage responsibilities as a team, taking on a divide-and-conquer approach for efficiency and productivity, and working to each other’s strengths.

It’s not about dividing the load 50/50 but about finding a balance that works for both.

3. Creating Financial Freedom

What financial trust looks like between you

This has to do with how to manage your financial life together, how to take care of money management, and how to establish and work towards shared goals.

It’s about building transparency and partnership to create a secure, strong, and successful financial future.

4. Building Intimacy

What helps you feel connected and close

This has to do with creating a deeply meaningful and satisfying emotional and physical intimacy.

It means balancing both partners’ seemingly opposite needs around connection, togetherness and separateness, as well as spontaneous and responsive sexual styles.

5. Making Family Decisions

Whether kids are part of your vision or not

This has to do with exploring what kind of family you want to create.

Are children part of that equation? How many? What is the timing of having them?

This also includes exploring your parenting style preferences, how you want to raise them, and what kind of life you want to give them.

6. Creating Fun & Joy

What keeps your relationship alive

This has to do with how each of you likes to have fun, your interests, and preferences for activities, outings, and leisure time.

And, how you have fun together, create shared experiences and memories, and enjoy each other’s company.

The key is to create shared interests.

7. Balancing Life & Partnership

Careers, stress, family, and everything in between

This has to do with how you recharge, take care of yourselves, take care of the business of life, and support each other’s dreams, ambitions, and desires.

It means having each other’s back and finding the sweet spot for doing life while still investing enough in the relationship.

8. Clarifying Your Shared Future Vision

What you’re building and why it matters

This has to do with identifying what kind of life you want to create, what kind of lifestyle you want to live, how you want to create your shared life, and what legacy you want to leave behind.

Getting on the Same Page

By exploring and getting on the same page about your ideas, preferences, and expectations, you remove ambiguity and confusion down the line.

These topics help you address key components of creating a shared life to ensure this is something you want to do together and how to go about it.

Aligning on what kind of relationship and life you want to create and experience prevents unnecessary friction from tripping you up later.

Smoothing these things out early not only helps you decide if this is something to take to the next level, but also helps you get ahead so you set up your new life together right from the start.

This frees you up to focus on addressing the deeper, more meaningful parts of your relationship in the future, without wasting energy, effort, and bandwidth on sorting the practical, relational, and emotional all in one swoop.

This is how you set yourselves up to start your marriage right and ensure lasting love.

Explore These Topics Together

I invite you to have conversations with your partner to explore these topics, regardless of where you are in your relationship.

Anytime you learn each other more, you deepen your connection and make your relationship stronger.

Here is to a beautiful future together, and a happily ever after.

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

Episode: How to Be Partners in Life

Episode: Sexy, Simple and Super Generous Money Management

Episode: Best Practices for a Happy, Healthy and Financially Successful Marriage

Episode: Legal Matters of the Heart from Prenup to Divorce

Episode: Keeping the Love and Spark Alive

Episode: Libido Differences, Rekindling Desire, Sexual Satisfaction

Episode: Creating More Harmony and Passion in Your Relationship

1-Pg Downloadables:

How to Share Responsibilities

How to Date Your Partner

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | X | Pinterest

There is such a thing as not being on the same page with our partner about our physical intimacy… You know, like when they want to be intimate a lot more than you, they want to do it at all hours, in all the places, whenever the mood strikes. Which seems to be all the time…

You? Not so much. You are more subtle. You need to feel ready, to be comfortable, to be wooed into it. You need all the stars to line up. The running joke I have with our clients.

In today’s podcast episode, I cover what this is about. It’s called Desire Discrepancy, influenced by the partners’ seemingly opposite desire styles.

One partner, usually the man, has a Spontaneous Style, meaning they are pretty much always ready to go.

The other, usually the woman, has a Responsive Style. This means they have to get ready to go. They become ready, and responsive, when they can relax into the safety, security, and spirit of the moment.

If the partners don’t intentionally attend to these styles, they run the risk of creating Female Orgasmic Disorder and Penile Erectile Disorder. Not being mindful of each other’s styles sets the partners up to get stuck in a pattern that could lead to those dysfunctions.

Additionally, the hectic modern life we lead nowadays does not serve us when it comes to promoting a healthy and satisfying intimate life.

It creates patterns in our lifestyle that deplete us of our life energy and therefore our zest for life—our radiance and our vitality.

In other words, it kicks our libido in the teeth.

If we have no life force, it is very challenging to drum up energy for a satisfying and passionate love life.

In today’s episode, I cover:

Desire Discrepancy and different desire styles

Spontaneous Style and Responsive Style

How partners can become stuck in unhealthy intimacy patterns

Five common culprits of low desire

How exhaustion impacts mood, energy, body image, and libido

How domesticity can shift a relationship from sharing to managing

How expectations and negative thoughts affect intimacy

How enmeshment can reduce mystery, interest, and desire

How boredom can drain aliveness, curiosity, and passion

Three Love Hack Practices for a radiant love life

5 Culprits of Low Desire

1. Exhaustion

It’s not surprising that if we are tackling all the world’s problems, we’d be exhausted at the end of the day.

Overachievers, multitaskers, and overdoers can run out of time to tackle their super aggressive agenda, so they cut into their sleep time to compensate.

Not to mention that women may be the ones waking up more in the middle of the night with little ones, especially if they are nursing.

This state messes with patience, bandwidth, mood, outlook, body image, appetite, and libido.

Not only are you too tired to do it, you also have no interest.

And if you somehow get over this hump, you may run into not being able to turn your brain or ruminating off. You can’t get in the mood and your physiology doesn’t cooperate to boot.

And, this is only culprit #1 on this list!

2. Domesticity

Once we move in together, and even more so once children come along, the focus of the relationship changes to creating a life together.

The focus becomes on the domestic.

Before, it was about sharing. Now it is about managing.

There is being in sharing, but there is a lot of doing in managing when tackled as a big long to-do list.

This contributes to exhaustion, but our awesome Self is also not showing when we are in doing mode.

When we don our domestic hat and live in our husband/wife and father/mother roles, we mute the person—the essence of ourselves and the male/female energy in the relationship.

The roles are not interested in intimacy. They are all about duty and responsibility.

They are the antithesis of intimacy—unless you look at intimacy as duty!

And I’m sure you are familiar with how fast the mood and moment changes when your baby cries, or one of the children comes to your door or into your bed.

3. Expectations

Add to the above all the junkie thoughts you allow to rent space in your head.

And I’m not referring only to your unfinished to-do list, brainstorms about a project, thinking about a problem or concern, the big presentation tomorrow, or worrying about whatever you worry about.

I’m referring to thoughts of your own inadequacy and misguided expectations about your partner, your intimacy, and the relationship as a whole.

You can be downright mean to yourself and your partner in that head of yours.

You might have thoughts of what sucky lovers you might each be, how gross your bodies might be, how disappointing as partners you might each be, and so on.

You might even have thoughts micromanaging your partner’s lovemaking, or about how much pleasure you should have or how you are supposed to get there.

We can be our own worst enemy in all areas of our life.

4. Enmeshment

This is a tricky one because it’s not as obvious as the others.

It refers to how close the partners are.

You may know people who do everything with their partner and think this is a good thing. They call each other best friends.

They know everything about each other and every moment of their day. They are in constant contact. They only have couple friends. All their activities are family and kid related. They don’t leave their kids with others.

They don’t take couple vacations, never mind trips without their partner.

This might sound idyllic to partners who feel distance and disconnection from their partner.

But these enmeshed partners are not necessarily better off.

Their supposedly closeness can pick up too much of a friendship vibe.

They are too close, too together for mystery, interest, and desire to spark.

The male and female energy necessary for attraction and passion gets muted.

5. Boredom

And here is where it gets fun.

The easiest way to kill the human spirit—and desire and intimacy—is through boredom.

We are meant for variety, exploration, curiosity, adventure, and feeling alive.

When our lives are monotonous, too safe, without meaning or purpose, and the like, we lose oomph.

We don’t have a fire in our belly, drive, or hunger.

There is no aliveness. There is no mysticism.

To make matters worse, this carries into the actual relationship.

It’s just there. It’s taken for granted. It’s expected to last a lifetime without nourishment.

As we very well know, anything that is neglected withers, breaks down, and dies.

This is true for a garden, a car, health, finances, and anything you can think of.

If the relationship doesn’t get attention, it doesn’t exist—it’s just a contract, an agreement.

How fun is that? Never mind radiant.

And then add a boring bedroom life for good measure.

If you get to the lovemaking the same way all the time and do the same things all the time, where is the curiosity, the enticement, the anticipation, the draw, the eagerness, the yearning, the build-up?

That is, if you even get to intimacy.

For you see, our intimacy is driven by our brain, which needs proper stimulation.

And you wonder what happened to your intimacy?

The answer is: Plenty!

3 Love Hack Practices

Listen to the podcast for solutions to each of the culprits and for more on these three Top Practices to keep you in alignment for a radiant love life.

Exquisite Connection

Focus on properly and generously showing up to your relationship.

Bring the attunement.

Bring the presence.

Bring the aligned and meaningful interactions.

Golden Sex Rule

Cover your basic intimacy quota.

Yes, schedule sex so at least you have the minimum intimacy covered to stay in the flow with each other.

You can have all the additional sex you like.

Consciously Date Your Partner

Bring it on.

Have your dates as if you just met, or recently started dating.

Bring your essence.

Bring the woo.

Bring the swag.

Having an amazing, radiant, and successful relationship, and a hot love life, doesn’t happen by accident.

You need to be intentional about protecting your energy and properly aligning with your partner.

Synchronize and the universe is the limit.

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

Episode: Keeping the Love and Spark Alive

Episode: Libido Differences, Rekindling Desire, Sexual Satisfaction

Episode: Creating More Harmony and Passion in Your Relationship

Blog Post: Low Desire and Lack of Intimacy Epidemic

Blog Post: 5 Culprits to Low Intimacy

1-Pg Downloadables:

How to Date Your Partner

Relationship Nourishing Verbs Game

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

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We usually think of Spring Cleaning as decluttering our home and detoxing our bodies. But those of us who take healing, performance, development and evolution seriously take a deeper and more meaningful approach.

We consider all the things we need to release in all areas of our life.

And if we are really serious, we go deeper. We look at the patterns that drive us in creating who we are, our circumstances, our relationship, and our life.

To that end, today’s Episode is about reprogramming the patterns that no longer serve us.

I present the Reset Patterns Formula™ (AKA: The Fuel Equation), a framework designed to help you transition from reactive to responsive living by reprogramming the mental, emotional, and behavioral patterns that are keeping us stuck.

I share this process as Spring is all about new beginnings—letting go of what’s holding us back and creating space for the new.

I have called this Formula the Fuel Equation as each aspect fuels the next, and back around. When something gets triggered at any aspect, it sets off an automatic chain reaction.

When we haven’t done much healing, personal development and training, we usually operate from a surface, reactive level.

When we do our work, we are less negatively triggerable, and operate from a more grounded, deeper and responsive level.

In today’s episode, I cover:

The Reset Patterns Formula™ and how the Fuel Equation works

The difference between the reactionary and responsive levels

How thoughts, feelings, and behaviors fuel each other

Distorted thoughts, limiting beliefs, scripts, narratives, and negativity bias

Understanding and honoring our feelings as messengers

Recognizing reactive behaviors and habits that no longer serve us

Reprogramming our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors

Moving from reactive to intentional, mindful, and empowered living

How to use the Formula to create the relationship and life we love

Here’s How It Usually Unfolds

In a nutshell, an event happens…

At the Reactivity Level

It triggers distorted thoughts which fuel symptomatic feelings which fuel defense mechanisms and coping.

At the Responsive Level

It triggers realist thoughts which fuel vulnerable feelings which fuel healthy functioning.

We are to reprogram the aspects of the reactive level to show up to life free from patterns and free to become more who we really are.

So we can step into intentional living and create the relationship and life we love.

Reactionary Level

At the reactionary level, we are victim of our circumstances, we are easily triggered, and disempowered.

Thoughts

Our minds can be unruly if we’re not mindful. Thoughts become distorted, limiting, and negatively biased, fueling unwanted emotional states and behaviors.

Distorted Thoughts — Overgeneralization, personalization, black-and-white thinking, and projection to name a few. These patterns cloud reality and keep us stuck.

Limiting Beliefs — Programs installed from childhood and cultural conditioning. They often run unnoticed, shaping perceptions about self-worth, love, intimacy, success, money and more.

Scripts and Narratives — The stories we tell ourselves about our past, ourselves, circumstances, relationships, and all our experiences keep us locked in old patterns.

Negativity Bias — A survival mechanism once helpful for physical threats now makes us see danger or negativity everywhere. Including in our relationship, where we often mistakenly assign negative motives to our partner.

The practice: Identify all our thought patterns that might be keeping us stuck.

Feelings

Triggered thoughts lead to triggered emotions like anxiety, frustration, anger, or overwhelm.

We often dismiss or suppress feelings, overlooking their critical role as messengers. Feelings are our guide to what we need, to know if something is right for us, and provide a wealth of information.

The practice: Pause to acknowledge our feelings and start understanding them.

Behaviors

Unaddressed thoughts and emotions drive reactive behaviors like impatience, poor self-care, emotional eating, drinking, shopping, or shutting down.

We might turn to these to numb out and make ourselves feel better. Some are just acting out and irresponsible.

The practice: Own all our bad habits and behaviors that don’t serve us.

Responsive Level

At the responsive level, we shift to being more intentional, mindful, and empowered.

Thoughts

To clean up your mental clutter, engage in conscious reprogramming.

The practice: Monitor, challenge and replace your distorted cognitions, limiting beliefs, scripts and stories, and negativity bias with more real-based versions.

Feelings

Recognize feelings as valuable signals and address their messages.

The practice: Go beyond the reactive ones to what’s beneath them—the vulnerable ones. Feel and honor them, then translate them into needs you can address.

Behaviors

With clarity on your thoughts and feelings, intentionally implement behaviors and habits that align with addressing your needs and creating the relationship and life you want.

The practice: Integrate wellness, connection, and success habits into daily routines, prioritizing meeting specific needs and practicing self-regulation and care.

The Reset Patterns Formula™

The beauty of this Formula is its flexibility.

You can start the reset from any point—thoughts, feelings, or behaviors.

The transformative process ripples through all three, reprogramming and freeing you from old patterns that kept you stuck.

Which aspect feels most out of balance for you right now?

Identify where you need to focus your attention and take your deep dive.

Listen to the Episode for a thorough walkthrough of working with each aspect at both levels.

Let this spring reset launch you toward your most radiant, intentional relationship and life yet.

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

FREE 1-Pg Downloadable: Refresh for Newness Checklist

Video: Everything You Can Refresh for Newness

Video: Stop Feeling Stuck, Reprogram Mindset

Blog Post: Self-Love Practice

Blog Post: Take Off Your Identify Mask

Blog Post: Intentional Habits

1-Pg Downloadables:

Refresh for Newness Checklist

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

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It’s funny how we start a relationship because of attraction and interest in each other, only to have that dwindle or get lost in the everyday grind as we progress to a higher level of commitment and create a shared life together.

As we move from romantic partners to life partners, there’s often a struggle because this isn’t an ideal state for couples. They need to be partners in love first.

Couples need to be lovers. But when they focus too much on the business of life, they dampen that part of the relationship. The result? They struggle not only with feeling connected but also with being good life partners.

And what’s interesting is that many couples tolerate the loss of romance but fight hard to make the partnership side work. This is where they hit friction, sometimes so intense and conflictual that the relationship completely breaks down.

That’s why our Successful Relationship Strategy™ focuses on shifting mindset and resetting how partners approach each other and the relationship first.

Then, we work on communication and alignment, removing bad habits and unhealthy interaction patterns that weaken the bond. This helps partners get on the same page more easily so they can go deeper in creating the relationship and life they want.

Finally, we address emotional patterns that drive the dynamic and focus on rebuilding connection and intimacy.

When couples go about creating their shared life from a strong mindset—aligned, resourced, and connected—it becomes much easier to collaborate.

These elements flow best in this order, but they’re not mutually exclusive. They can be worked on simultaneously and continue to evolve as the couple grows.

That said, even with a strong romantic connection, couples may still struggle with how to be great partners in life.

In today’s episode, I cover:

How to properly position our partner and relationship in our life

Seeing our partner as our Partner with a capital P

Reframing our partner as our ally

Using the relationship as a mechanism for transformation and mastery

Appreciating our partner’s complementary aspects and uniqueness

Appreciating how our partner’s sensitivities can support healing and growth

Defining what “winning” in life looks like for both partners

Intentionally designing and living our shared life

Creating practical systems for collaboration and partnership

Great Partners in Life

Being great partners in life means we properly position our partner and our relationship for their due importance in our life.

This is a requirement for creating the strongest partnership. We have to embrace a higher perspective for our life Journey.

Mindset Shift 1: Our Partner with a Capital P

Our partner is our Partner, THE partner of all partners.

They are the one we chose to have our Journey, our grand human experience, and create our extraordinary life with.

The problem is that partners lose sight of this mega role and treat their partner worse than they treat strangers sometimes.

The key is to reset how we look at our partner, their priority in our life, and treat them with the due reverence their role warrants.

We also bring back the couplehood aspect, the romantical aspect, to keep the energy alive. This is the relationship juice, the creative energy that fuels everything.

SHIFT: Create a cadence for couple time and protect it with your life.

Mindset Shift 2: Our Partner is Our Ally

Being true partners means being allies.

But too often, couples get stuck in power struggles, unconsciously trying to get their needs met. They lose sight of the fact that they’re on the same side.

Instead, they treat each other like enemies, with suspicion, mistrust, control, manipulation, and other nasty tactics.

This only creates a downward spiral of disconnection and dissatisfaction.

SHIFT: Reframe your partner as your ally and address a stuck issue with this perspective.

Mindset Shift 3: The Relationship is the Mechanism for Transformation and Mastery

Our relationship is our playground—a space where we get to explore, practice, discover, and master our skills, strengths, and selves.

In our relating there is so much potential for our expansion and for creation.

SHIFT: Identify one personal growth area and explore it with your partner until it’s mastered.

Your Attraction is Your Glue

Our initial attraction happens at an unconscious and subconscious level.

The truth is, we were attracted to each other for a reason. Our programming brought us together as part of a grander design—to create the human experience we desire.

The key is in increasing our awareness of what’s playing out and being intentional in how we interact so we can uplevel our cocreation.

Appreciate Complementary Aspects and Uniqueness

Opposites attract for a reason.

Our partner has complementary characteristics and strengths to our own, and their own special flavor.

At first, we find these differences incredible. But later, we start holding them against each other.

Instead of resisting them, we could be capitalizing on their awesomeness.

APPLICATION: Identify one of your partner’s complementary strengths, acknowledge it, and discuss how you can leverage it together.

Appreciate Play on Sensitivities

Another part of the attraction is that our partner has the uncanny ability to trigger our old wounds because of the unconscious match, and vice versa.

But this is gold. It offers the perfect opportunity for healing and growing.

APPLICATION: Select one of your sensitivities, share with your partner what’s underneath it, and discuss what would help soothe it.

Playing the Game of Life

Too often, we put our heads down and grind through life.

Before we know it, we’ve spent years with blinders on, not truly creating the life we want.

We get stuck in routines, neglect joy, and sometimes leave a trail of collateral damage our health, our relationships, our family, our creativity, and our impact.

How do we play the game of life?

We play to win.

And to win, we need to know how to play the game and what winning looks like.

We can all have different definitions of winning. The key is for us to know what those are for ourselves and for our partner and to get on the same page about them for an aligned approach, and fulfilling, meaningful, harmonious and joyful Journey.

Explore These Together:

What kind of love do we want to experience?

What kind of relationship do we want to create?

What kind of life do we want to build?

What kind of experiences, impact, and creations do we want to pursue?

If you are not asking these questions, you’re just going through the motions.

These help you better align with your partner, for an easier and more joyful Journey.

Intentionally Design and Live Your Life

If we don’t know what we’re creating, we create by default.

Our programming has a field day creating a reactive and painful life. Our defenses have a relationship with our partner’s defenses creating a relationship riddled with friction, codependence, and misalignment.

But if we:

Reset our relationship mindset

Invest in prioritizing ourselves and our relationship

Strengthen our connection and meet our needs

Tap into our synergy—our relationship juice

Align on a life vision

Then, bam! We create the life we deeply desire.

When these things are in place, everything flows. Without them, life is an uphill battle.

The Practical in the Collaboration

The soft side of relationships—the mindset, connection, and synergy—drives success.

But let’s be real, the practical side matters too.

A strong partnership needs systems and habits that support it.

Shared Calendar

Keep track of shared responsibilities, appointments, events, and reminders in a calendar you both have access to.

PRO TIP: Bonus points for using collaborative tools or apps to manage the business of life efficiently.

Weekly Sync-Up

Every Sunday, check in about the upcoming week.

Get on the same page about schedules, responsibilities, and anything that needs attention.

Division of Labor

Divide and conquer. Don’t let one person carry the entire mental load.

Use a shared responsibilities list to divide tasks fairly.

Staying Current

Keep communication open with regular check-ins:

Morning coffee chats

End-of-day debriefs

Visioning sessions

Planning meetings

Financial reviews

Outsourcing

If a task doesn’t require your unique skills and you can afford to outsource it, do it.

Life is too short to spend time on the mundane.

Transitions

Most arguments happen during transition times—coming home, shifting tasks, starting or ending the day.

Be extra mindful and intentional during these moments.

Weekend Planning

Avoid last-minute stress and mismatched expectations by discussing weekend plans before Friday hits.

Morning Routines

Start your morning routine the night before.

Reduce morning chaos by prepping in advance. A smoother start sets the tone for the day.

Vacationing

Identify the expectations, the flavor, and what would make it successful as you plan it.

Being Proactive

If the same arguments keep coming up, fix the root issue.

Identify patterns, address them directly, and put a lasting solution in place.

This can feel like a lot to address at the same time, I know. But you don’t have to overhaul everything overnight.

Just pick one of these strategies that resonated with you and take action on it today.

Even the smallest investment can make a big difference.

Intentionality is key. As you make these shifts, you’ll notice everything starts changing.

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

FREE Downloadable for how to Date Your Partner

FREE Downloadable for Collaboration System

FREE The Challenge for transforming your relationship

Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

Date Your Partner Protocol

Radiance Membership

Success Membership

Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy, or Support Sessions

1-Pg Downloadables:

Date Your Partner Protocol

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

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It is not uncommon for couples to feel they are in a slump. Especially during the cold winter months when we tend to hibernate, have the winter blues, or just totally feel out of sorts.

Relationships can lose their spark. But when this feeling lingers beyond seasonal blues, it can erode intimacy, connection, and the overall bond between partners.

What’s tricky is that many couples don’t even recognize they’re in a slump. They assume this is just what happens in long-term relationships. They settle into an “okay” relationship instead of striving for something deeper, richer, and more fulfilling.

The partners that struggle are the ones dear to my heart, because they feel the possibility for more and they are rebelling against being mediocre. I say, Good on you. Your struggle is just a way of shaking things up. To have both partners’ attention making changes for the radiant and successful relationship and epic love you desire…

Being in a slump or experiencing relationship struggle is an unpleasant, challenging, and disconcerting experience to say the least. The disconnect, loneliness, emptiness, conflict, frustration, resentment, hopelessness, can totally take a toll on the couple as well as the partners themselves.

I truly commend the couples that have the courage to admit they are struggling and invest in transforming and upleveling their relationship. My hat off to you!

In today’s episode, I cover:

6 signs of a relationship slump

Relationship neglect and disconnection

Losing romance and attraction

When intimacy becomes mechanical, superficial, or nonexistent

11 Power Moves to transform your relationship

Bringing your Best Self to your interactions

Practicing, playing, and pledging for a more vibrant relationship

6 Signs of a Relationship Slump

Partners can experience their struggle or averageness in a variety of ways. The more of these ways they experience, the more difficult and painful their situation.

But regardless of how severe their experience is, they can turn their relationship around by investing in it.

1. The Relationship Doesn’t Make It to the Priority List

It’s interesting how often partners complain of feeling disconnected, but they don’t make any time to spend with each other.

Or, they might have some time together, or even a lot, but it lacks depth and meaning.

Being in the same room doesn’t constitute as quality couple time.

And this goes beyond making time for each other. There is also little courtesy, kindness, tenderness, nurturing, attentiveness, mindfulness, and so on.

2. The Connection Is Dampened, the Bond Is Frayed

Aside from not spending quality time together, the partners might do things that cut at their bond.

Crossing boundaries and being neglectful, mean, inconsiderate, absent, controlling, manipulative and so on, are all tactics that make the partners put up defenses and keep their heart locked away.

3. The Romance Got Lost in Translation

Partners allow the busyness of life to pull them away from what is actually the most important asset in their life… Their Partner in their Journey.

But a partner in Love…

This part of the relationship is at the crux of our human experience. This is how we create the energy and flavor of our life, our shared life.

And the romance is what activates the romantic feelings.

This is where the essence of the partners get invited to play.

Now this doesn’t have to be T.V. style romance. We can have a real life, down to earth approach that is more realistic and powerful.

4. The Attraction Fizzled

The attraction doesn’t just fizzle.

It fizzles because it is as if it was smothered by a damp cloth of insults, injuries, betrayals, let downs, neglect, rejection…

When we are constantly in doing mode, like ships passing in the night, totally exhausted, not resourced, and at the mercy of our and our partner’s poor mood states, we are in the crossfires for survival.

Then never mind being radiant and full of life that creates attraction.

Add to that both partners usually being in their masculine energy, a formula for a dead sex life.

5. The Lovers Are MIA

Then it makes sense that the lovers are MIA.

There is no juice, no attraction to speak of, a lack of exhausted energy, no polarized energy between the genders, and a pervasive conscious or unconscious feeling of resentment and contempt.

A lack of trust.

No emotional safety.

How are the partners to really let go to be present as real lovers?

6. The Intimacy Is Mechanical, Superficial, or Nonexistent

So then obviously the intimacy suffers.

There is very little of it and the little that’s there is not what it could be.

Partners are not on the same page about what intimacy they prefer, they might not even be in touch with what they prefer.

And additionally, they struggle creating the space for any intimacy.

Everything else gets in the way.

Now, couples can have some or all of these, and to varying degrees.

No one couple is the same. And they each bring their unique set of circumstances to their story and situation along with their own uniqueness, needs and desires.

So, don’t compare yourself with your friends.

Each couple is special.

11 Power Moves to Transform Your Relationship

It doesn’t have to be difficult, complex, or intimidating investing in our relationship so we can turn it around, or to take it to the next level.

It can actually be quite simple.

There might be mental health issues, unique patterns, and level of development the partners bring to the table that might require additional attention, nonetheless the basics are the same.

Bring your Best Self to your interactions to the best of your ability.

If this in and of itself is challenging, then professional support might be indicated for you.

Now, on to the things to bring to your interactions to get out of the slump or to uplevel your relationship:

Flirtation

Playfulness

Curiosity

Interest

Attunement

Adoration

Devotion

Affection

Connection

Intimacy

Passion

Check out the podcast episode below for a description of these!

Play, Practice, and Pledge

You might be struggling in your relationship, your relationship might be in a slump, or you are looking to just take things to the next level.

Regardless of your relationship status, the key is to bring commitment to making it work and to creating what you desire, to bring our Best Self to it, and to invest in it to keep it fresh and vibrant.

Embrace the power moves mentioned above, cultivate rich states around them to activate good relationship vibes, and shower your partner and your relationship with that TLC.

Play – Experiment with the moves and characteristics to keep things activating and elevating.

Practice – Cultivate the states around each power move to make them accessible as you go.

Pledge – Honor your commitment to your partner and the relationship, be all in to crack the codes.

And this my loves is how you bring more vibrancy and radiance to your relationship.

Here is to a lovely and love-filled Valentine’s Day!

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

FREE – Downloadable for how to Date Your Partner

FREE – The Challenge for transforming your relationship

FREE – Relationship Enrichment Mini Course

1-Pg Downloadables:

Date Your Partner Protocol

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | X | Pinterest

There is a difference on how successful couples show up to their relationship, versus how couples who struggle in their relationship do.

The couples that create an amazing relationship are fully committed to their partner and to making the relationship work. They know that life might throw curveballs and that they might experience challenges, but they are committed to seeing them through together.

They don’t look at their relationship and their partner as disposable if they hit a rough patch in the relationship. They are all in and willing to figure it out.

They are willing to put in what it takes to crack the code at creating a radiant and successful relationship. They invest in themselves and the relationship to continue to uplevel their game.

Making this level of commitment might be innate to the partners, who they are as people, and their development level. It might also have to do with how much personal work they’ve done for themselves, and how they have embraced a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle.

Meaning that they are super intentional about minding their relationship and prioritizing their partner…

Through my work with couples during almost 3 decades at this point, I have come to see similar patterns that play out in relationships for couples that are struggling.

These cluster into 5 main areas of relationship. These patterns, when not addressed, wreak havoc in the relationship and present a serious struggle for the partners. Gone unaddressed, they create demise for the relationship. They corrode the bond and the partners’ love. They get in the way of partners creating the relationship they desire and love.

Addressing those patterns, facilitating personal development and expansion, and providing relationship insights, tools and skills, informed a therapeutic approach that I’ve named the Transcendental Relationship Therapy™, that includes our signature process, the Successful Relationship Strategy™.

In today’s episode, I cover:

The 5 Elements of the Successful Relationship Strategy™

Circumstance, Context & Mindset

Communication & Alignment

Clarity & Dynamics

Connection & Intimacy

Collaboration & Partnership

The patterns that struggling couples experience in each area

Takeaways for immediate implementation and transformation

20 virtues to cultivate for a more radiant and successful relationship

The Successful Relationship Strategy™

The Strategy consists of 5 Elements, the 5 relationship areas, that when optimized create a transformation for a couple that is struggling.

Successful couples tackle these elements naturally, intentionally investing in improving on them as needed. They bring higher level of awareness to their relationship.

Here I provide a brief description of the Elements along with how partners who struggle go wrong in these areas, and a takeaway for immediate implementation and transformation.

And I offer 4 virtues to cultivate for each of the 5 Elements to assist you uplevel in that particular aspect of your relationship.

You’ll have 20 virtues to play with as you like to start transforming your relationship to the relationship you desire and that you both love…

Element 1 – Circumstance (Context) & Mindset

This has to do with how we choose to show up, what we contribute to the relationship including our beliefs, our values, our dreams, and our desires.

This is all our mental content and patterns, all our subconscious programs and conditioning. And how we approach boundaries and personal ownership.

Couples that struggle bring stories of victimhood and have old scripts and limiting beliefs running rampant and coloring their experience.

They also have thought patterns, habits, and a strong negativity bias that don’t support them in creating what they desire.

They point fingers, blame, and pass the bucket. They don’t have strong accountability or take full responsibility for themselves. These partners are quick to state how their partner needs to change or what they need to improve…

Takeaway: Focus on cleaning up and updating your relationship mindset to that of being fully in and being allies, for engaging with your partner as the most important person in your life—your Partner in this life Journey…

Virtues to Cultivate

Commitment – Demonstrating loyalty and dedication shows your partner they can count on you, even through challenges. Commitment reinforces the longevity of the relationship.

→ Commit to a specific caring gesture your partner loves that you’ll do at a cadence of your choice.

Confidence – Believing in yourself and your worth enhances self-esteem and helps create a balanced relationship where both partners feel valued.

→ Take on a hobby or activity you enjoy to stretch and expand yourself.

Conviction – Standing by your values and principles helps guide the relationship in a positive direction, ensuring both partners grow together with integrity.

→ Identify your values to share with your partner and to create shared ones.

Contentment – Appreciating your partner and the relationship fosters gratitude and satisfaction, reducing unnecessary friction or conflict.

→ Implement a shared Relationship Gratitude Journal, Appreciation Sessions, or other gratitude practice.

Element 2 – Communication & Alignment

This has to do with getting on the same page, resolving conflict, making decisions, having genuine apologies, and having meaningful conversations.

It involves using healthy communication skills and tools, being respectful, receptive, attuned, and authentic.

Having great communication goes a long way.

Couples that struggle focus on saying their piece, pushing their agenda, and getting their way. Even the quiet partners have this underlying pattern, though they might have different drivers and motivations.

They don’t utilize proper communication tools and skills, even when they have them.

They make assumptions about their partner’s motives, intentions, desires, and so on. They escalate disagreements, don’t repair properly, if at all, and have a difficult time getting to any resolutions.

Takeaway: Focus on upgrading, upleveling and enhancing your communication skills and tools.

Virtues to Cultivate

Clarity – Communicating your needs, feelings, and thoughts clearly prevents misunderstandings. Clarity also means being transparent about intentions and expectations.

→ Identify a small topic that usually trips you up, and invite your partner to chat about it with better skills.

Civility – Being polite and respectful during both good and bad times ensures that conflicts are handled gracefully and that feelings are protected and the bond safeguarded.

→ Invite your partner into a challenge or game of civility—see who wins at being more courteous!

Carefulness – Being thoughtful about your words and actions shows care for your partner’s feelings. It ensures that decisions are made with their well-being in mind.

→ Take an action you’ve been postponing to show your partner you get it and care.

Courage – Having the courage to express vulnerability, tackle tough conversations, or navigate challenges strengthens the bond and promotes growth.

→ Create a moment to share 3 vulnerable or risqué thoughts about yourself with your partner.

Element 3 – Clarity & Dynamics

This has to do with our relationship dynamics—the patterns we repeat from unresolved childhood issues, wounds, or disappointments.

We call this the relationship loop.

This is where a partner’s sensitivities or wounds get triggered, to which they respond with their usual defense mechanisms, which in turn trigger their partner, and when they respond with their own defense mechanisms trigger the initial triggered partner some more…

This is where all the emotional content, patterns, and programming resides. All our unconscious and buried conditioning driving the show.

Couples that struggle have a hard time self-regulating. They are easily triggered and become reactive, turning disagreements into arguments and possibly fights with the potential for further escalation.

They have the same repeating conflicts and unresolved issues. They have poor insight and awareness as to their sensitivities, emotional drivers, and patterns.

And they also lack awareness as to their impact on their partner and their needs, boundaries, and sensitivities.

Takeaway: Focus on identifying and addressing your triggers, your core wounds or unresolved issues, and your defense mechanisms that contribute to getting stuck in a power struggle—your loop…

Virtues to Cultivate

Calmness – Remaining calm during disagreements helps prevent escalation and promotes constructive communication. It fosters a peaceful environment where both partners feel secure.

→ Implement a mindfulness practice to assist you get grounded, integrated and regulated for more resilience.

Composure – Staying emotionally composed during conflicts prevents regrettable actions or words, allowing for thoughtful resolution and healing.

→ Think on the things that usually aggravate you and identify a deeper need beneath it that you can meet.

Compassion – Empathizing with your partner’s struggles and offering support without judgment deepens emotional intimacy and trust.

→ On a daily basis, find something to be compassionate for towards your partner.

Consistency – Being dependable and predictable in your behavior builds trust and security in the relationship. Small, consistent acts of love make a big difference.

→ Identify a behavior that meets your partner’s deeper needs to do on a regular basis.

Element 4 – Connection & Intimacy

This has to do with creating, maintaining, and deepening connection in our relationship.

As well as exploring our physical intimacy, expanding our passion, and taking it to new heights for sacred love making and earth-shattering connection.

This is where partners flirt, play and have fun together.

Couples that struggle barely show up to their relationship. They show up with toxic habits and old patterns, and with their Lower Self…

They neglect their relationship and not prioritize their partner.

Everything else gets their best energy and attention—from their children to their career or business to miscellaneous stuff!

When our partner is THE most important partnership and resource we have in this life experience… Neglecting our relationship is like boarding up a gold mine…

Takeaway: Focus on prioritizing your partner and the relationship in your thoughts, your actions, and how you manage your energy, bandwidth, and time.

Virtues to Cultivate

Caring – Expressing genuine concern for your partner’s physical and emotional health strengthens trust and deepens the bond. Small acts of care, like checking in or offering support, go a long way.

→ Build in Connection Habits™ to automate nurturing your relationship!

Charity – Practicing generosity in giving time, attention, and support demonstrates selflessness in the relationship. Charity here also includes giving grace and forgiving mistakes.

→ Set aside consistent Couple Time to have fun together, debrief or address things, and connect more meaningfully.

Cheerfulness – Bringing joy and positivity to the relationship helps create an uplifting atmosphere. A cheerful attitude can lighten tense moments and keep the relationship fun.

→ Bring out the fun, lightness and joy with cute, funny, and playful gestures.

Creativity – Finding new ways to keep the relationship exciting and fresh, such as planning unique dates or surprises, enhances joy and connection.

→ This is where Dating Your Partner comes in—make it fun!

Element 5 – Collaboration & Partnership

This has to do with creating a strong partnership, a well-oiled machine to run the business of life and create a shared life you both love.

The key is to divide and conquer utilizing your own strengths and having each other’s back.

Setting up structures and systems and implementing support helps smoothly take care of the mundane responsibilities, and saves time to apply to meaningful projects, ventures or activities.

Couples that struggle are chaotic and overwhelmed.

They haven’t clarified expectations, clearly divided responsibilities, they don’t have efficient and rewarding daily and weekly routines, they don’t have systems for collaborating and taking care of business.

They get in each other’s way and sabotage any progress they might make. They are inconsistent in their efforts and frequently end up behind the eight ball.

Takeaway: Focus on creating cadences to help you synchronize with your partner around sharing responsibilities and running a smooth life.

Virtues to Cultivate

Collaboration – Collaborating on a shared vision, planning the future, shared goals, and mapping out strategies strengthens unity and alignment.

→ Have a talk about what kind of life you want to create and live and how you’d like to go about creating it.

Cooperation – Working as a team to achieve goals, get things done, manage your shared life, and resolve conflicts demonstrates teamwork and mutual respect.

→ Make sure you have a divide and conquer approach to all your responsibilities.

Compromise – Finding common ground during disagreements ensures that both partners’ needs are met, strengthening understanding, acceptance and belonging.

→ Identify an activity or pursuit that you usually struggle getting on the same page on and find the common ground there.

Competence – Being reliable and capable in fulfilling responsibilities, such as managing finances and supporting during tough times, contributes to a stable and dependable partnership.

→ Select a task or project flowing from your shared goals that can draw from your brilliance to run with and crush it.

Putting It All Together

The Successful Relationship Strategy™ is a framework to assist you assess where you need to invest more or differently in your relationship to create the transformation you seek and ultimately your Radiant and Successful Relationship, and meaningful life.

The goal is not perfection.

It is about bringing a higher level of awareness to your relationship, identifying where you can uplevel, and intentionally investing in the areas that need attention.

Use the 5 Elements and the 20 virtues as things to play with as you begin transforming your relationship into the relationship you desire and that you both love.

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

1-Pg Downloadables:

Core Values Guide

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | X | Pinterest

Feeling the winter blues? You are not alone.

This second part of January is usually challenging for people for several reasons. But we don’t have to let the blah mood, feelings, and energy take over, and make life more difficult for ourselves.

We can increase our awareness of what is happening for us, instead of being steeped in it with no light in sight.

Picking up our head and bringing more consciousness to our situation allows us to tap into our resources and snap ourselves out of it.

There is no shame or judgment about being afflicted by the winter blues. You might be experiencing some blahs and lack of motivation. Or you might be feeling straight up depressed.

Regardless of where you are on the spectrum, there are ways to have your own back, feel better, and get moving in the right direction for you and for your new future.

In this episode, we explore 5 reasons we are feeling the winter blues, including seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and 3 empowering ways of addressing them to elevate ourselves into new beginnings and our New Ideal Future.

In today’s episode, I cover:

The post-holidays lull

Cold and dark winter days

Financial strain

Unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions or intentions

Lack of motivation

Managing ourselves and our feelings

Addressing financial distress

Activating our North Star

5 Reasons for the Winter Blues

Post-Holidays Lull

The Holidays are usually tough and their impact has a tendency to linger.

You might have had a bit of momentum with the start of the New Year with stepping up your game to start the new year right.

But soon after, any lingering and new negative feelings emerge as the accelerated pace, excitement, personal time, and availability for connection go back to normal and there is a sense of loss or let down.

Cold and Dark Winter Days

There is a bit of hibernation, isolation, less sunlight, fresh air, connection to nature, and shorter days that make it difficult to feel in the flow, bright, and energized.

Our circadian rhythm is off as we don’t properly align our life with sunup and sundown. And a lot of our biological systems get thrown off, affecting our brain function and mood.

Our mental health is impacted.

Financial Strain

Around this time is when it becomes more obvious how much the holiday season had an impact on our finances.

Even if we were intentional about our spending, there might still be a part of us that feels the impact of the additional spending.

Unfulfilled New Year’s Resolutions or Intentions

We all have the best of intentions to have our Best Year Yet, but nonetheless might be quick to fall into our usual routines and patterns and lose sight of the changes we want to make.

We let up on creating the new habits and on addressing any frictions or obstacles to fully implementing any changes to our routines.

Lack of Motivation

We are already feeling depleted from all the above.

Additionally, we might not have a dream, a vision, and goals to pull us forward, inspire us, and excite us.

It makes sense that we’d be lost, stuck, gloomy, and not feel like tackling anything.

We can experience any combination of the above to some extent.

The result is having a bumpy start to the new year and feeling like we are behind the 8 ball. We might feel impostor syndrome, judgment, shame, fear, and inertia at being in this place, making the whole thing even worse.

3 Empowering Ways to Beat the Winter Blues

The only thing to do is to be kind and compassionate with ourselves when we are not feeling well.

To be gentle and loving, and to have our own back to get ourselves on the right track and rocking it before we know it.

Manage Yourself and Your Feelings

The key is to self-soothe and regulate, practice self-care, and energize ourselves.

Self-soothe – Use practices to manage and alleviate the feelings, change our mood, and uplevel our state:

Meditation

Breathing techniques

EFT

Mindfulness

Journaling

Addressing limiting beliefs

Cultivating joy

Decreasing screen time

Focusing on things that are in our control through personal ownership and accountability

Self-care – Aside from the above, focus on taking care of yourself:

Proper sleep

Nutrition

Hydration

Supplementation

Exercise

Personal care

Step up the fun and connection – Be super intentional about having positive experiences and nurturing connection:

Schedule connection time with your partner and other loved ones

Intentionally participate in your networks

Map out and schedule or book fun experiences

Play at old or new hobbies

Address Financial Distress

Regardless of your financial situation, the key here is to get a handle on where you are at and to make a plan to get back on track.

Whether it’s to eliminate debt, replenish savings, start investing, or some other goal.

Of course, consider consulting a financial advisor to support you in implementing the right plan for you to achieve your financial goals.

Activate Your North Star

This one is my favorite.

Aligning ourselves with our higher-self, our purpose, and what kind of life we want to live is the way to create that life.

Identify what is your Grand Life Experience you are here to live.

What is the vision, the purpose, the dream?

Then identify specific goals against that vision to create it, and specific habits, tactics, and strategies to achieve them.

Without a roadmap, a vehicle, and the gas, you won’t get very far.

This is the inspiration and motivation to propel you forward. You don’t need to depend on will power, discipline, and grit.

Tap into inspiration!

If even the above feel daunting, know that it is totally fine to move at your own pace, to honor where you are, to take care of yourself, and to take tiny actions on the above to get yourself moving in the right direction.

And, of course, get yourself support as needed!

Wishing you clear sunny days, and an amazing New Year and New Future…

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

MENTIONED INSIDE AND MORE

Top 10 Guidelines & Practices To Uplevel Your Relationship & Your Life

1-Pg Downloadables:

Planning and Reset Process

Identify Your Core Values

Core Values Guide

Watch our related videos on our: Youtube channel

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.

For additional support contact us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY CONNECTED:

Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | X | Pinterest