Altered Population is an investigation into filicide in South Carolina hosted by Jennifer Wells. In the beginning of today’s episode, Jennifer shares about her experience and learning about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Jennifer visits Greenville with Fred and Helen to find Baby Valentine at the Woodlawn Cemetery. She discusses her daughter’s traumatic experience around fear of being found out, and how it helped her to uncover her own fears. Jennifer begins therapy and discovers that writing about her past experiences was a powerful way to shift her mission with this podcast. 

Jennifer’s goals for her trip to Greenville were to do some sightseeing with Helen and get some interviews recorded. Jennifer was mesmerized by the sight of a beautiful big beech tree with exposed roots during their sightseeing at Liberty Bridge, which helped her see that she too had deep roots and was wonderfully made. Fred, Helen and Jennifer also visited Woodlawn Cemetery to try to find baby Julie. After two hours of searching, Fred asked Jennifer: “What would Tim Miller do?” Tim Miller dedicated his life to his search and rescue organization, Texas EquuSearch, founded in August of 2000 after the murder and abduction of his daughter Laura in 1984.

After returning to the hotel to get warm, Helen began to have a temper tantrum of sorts, and explained it as having a popcorn kernel in the pit of her stomach, sizzling, but not knowing when it was going to pop. It all started at the book club party she had on September 8th. Helen wanted to look pretty for the party, so she grabbed a pair of scissors and tried to give herself a haircut, but two cuts in stopped. She hid all the hair she cut off in a plastic bag under the washroom sink and kept her hair in a ponytail so that no one would find out. Jennifer thought she was being Miss Independent by wanting to do her own hair and not wanting snuggle time, but she was just scared of someone finding out. 

Jennifer reflects on Helen’s wisdom about being found out before being ready. She wondered if Julie Valentine’s mom felt the same way–that it was only a matter of time. Jennifer felt terrible about letting her stress trickle down to Helen and considered her own intentions and fears. Jennifer worried that Helen would find out on her own that she was born before she got married to Fred. That was her kernel for nine years.

The family returned to Woodlawn Memorial Park to continue to search for Baby Doe in baby land, where Jennifer finally found the headstone. They spruced up the gravesite and left flowers for Baby Valentine. Five days later, Jennifer began treatment, which was a combination of prayer, cognitive and EMDR therapy, meditation, reading, studying, working out and trusting food again. She learned to be honest about what she was struggling with and to accept praise for her successes (big or small). She also built in routines and daily structure to better support herself and to find creative outlets. One of those outlets was writing down her experiences in a journal, without editing or fear of judgement. That led to accepting the shift in her mission from ending filicide to changing the way society views childhood trauma. 

Jennifer finds an old voicemail from Janine Driver. A course at her Body Language Institute taught Jennifer an important lesson about observation. Two people can see exactly the same thing and report different observations. Children’s lives depend on people seeing the bigger picture and visionaries changing the way we look at adverse childhood experiences.

 

Key Takeaways in Today’s Episode:

0:42 PTSD didn’t seem to fit

3:06 Nightmare subjects

5:43 Goals for Greenville

8:41 What the beech tree meant to Jennifer

12:00 Trying to find baby Julie

13:12 What would Tim Miller do?

14:48 Helen’s temper tantrum

16:55 The traumatic event for Helen

18:40 Detangling

20:17 Afraid of being found out before being ready

23:42 Conversations with Marty at the cemetery