Last year, everything went dark. I couldn’t see. And at the time, if you’d asked me what I was feeling, I’d have said one word: scared.

But scared turned out to be the lid on something I didn’t have language for yet.

In this episode I get into where our need for certainty actually comes from, why so much of the certainty we cling to isn’t even ours, and the small experiment that changed how I think about not knowing. Plus the one thing I had to lean on when someone handed me a version of my future I hadn’t agreed to.

Read the companion piece, "I almost didn't say it out loud" at https://sunriseritual.substack.com/p/the-unknown-was-never-the-problem

Intro music: “Gold Flow (Sol Rising Remix)” by DJ Taz Rashid, used with permission.

This episode is about the moment I realized I wasn’t struggling to post a video. I was saying goodbye to a version of myself and had been for a while without knowing it.

It’s about the hallway between who you were and who you’re becoming. The grief that comes not from your life changing, but from realizing you have. And what it means to stop trying to go back, and start carrying the new thread fully.

If you’re somewhere in that in-between right now, this one’s for you.

Intro song: Gold Flow (Sol Rising Remix) by DJ Taz Rashid

You don't get to choose everything that happens to you. But you have far more say than you think in who you become while it's happening and the strongest version of you was never the one who rose above the hard stuff. It's the one who stays.

Intro music: "Gold Flow (Ali Embry & Momentology Remix)" by DJ Taz Rashid, used with permission.

Some seasons don’t fall apart because you did something wrong.

They fall apart because you finally got too big for them.

This episode is for the in-between, when the old containers crack before the new ones are built.

Intro song — Gold Flow (Ali Embry & Momentology Remix) by DJ Taz Rashid

There are some desires that don’t disappear after being reasoned with.

This episode is about what happens when you finally stop pretending that means nothing.

Intro song: “Gold Flow (Ali Embry & Momentology Remix)” by DJ Taz Rashid.