"Surviving the Stench: My Journey Through Life’s Crap”

A MUST LISTEN TO : THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FUCK BY MARK MANSON

LEARN TO LIVE YOUR LIFE ONLY GIVING A FUCK ABOUT WHAT REALLY MATTERS

Well I made it to lucky 13. I have been incredibly busy with being my own lawyer in a bankruptcy to taking care of 6 cats and 2 dogs. And getting ready for surgery, trying not to be evicted, watching grand daughter full time, figuring out my replacements for dope, Trying to keep a schedule right now is almost impossible with everything in play. But you know what they say about impossible.. "I'm possible" at everything. It is in the choosing of what I want to do......by far the easiest decision of my day is still a cold shower. Repetition does become habit...One of the best things i really took to heart this week is Anna Lembke talked on making changes. She says if we wait for the day when we feel like doing something that we are trying to change, that day will never come. So just start doing motions to make the change and the feelings will follow. RIGHT ON POINT!

https://youtu.be/OC8eA8rNqp8?si=_YZQK9njlq4D-rGL-Dopamine nation and the neuroscience of addiction with Anna Lembke

https://youtu.be/yU2TythwzLI?si=cfQfwrTMuyBG1AAJ-50 Universal Laws That Affect Reality

https://www.youtube.com/live/u3papaX85MA?si=WtSgLKZhi4QXob41432Hz- Alpha Waves Heal The Whole Body and Spirit, Emotional, Physical, Mental & Spiritual Healing

As my podcast takes shape, things change.... Like the title, description and my 70 personalities. Ha Ha. I have no idea from episode to episode what is going to come out. I do not plan it. I trust the process and what's meant to be will be. I hold nothing back, except my hair somedays. So this topic touches on being a teenage mom, abortion, and a briefing of the years from 16 to 18 all important as to what has got me here. I will never spend a lot of time in the past because i now focus on the now. I personally think its ok to go back and have the memories but don't live there as it will take you away from everything in front of you. I think very soon I am going to start doing a live once a week and having some guests! I think so many people out there have powerful stories that never get told. So I am inviting you to share your story anonymously. If interested email [email protected]. Please share a little about yourself and what you would like to share. I already have a few people lined up but would love more as we go!!!

Here is another amazing podcast from Dr H I have been listening to !Dr. Casey Means: Transform Your Health by Improving Metabolism, Hormone & Blood Sugar Regulation - Huberman Lab

So as i was editing to post episode 10 I somehow managed to delete the entire thing and i cannot get it back:/ So as the universe wants, the universe gets and I will be recreating and posting later tonight! Gotta love technology some days. Such a love/hate relationship

“That which we do not bring to consciousness appears in our lives as fate.” (Carl Jung)

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, as well as impulsiveness and an unhealthy way of seeing themselves. Impulsiveness involves having extreme emotions and acting or doing things without thinking about them first.

People with borderline personality disorder have a strong fear of abandonment or being left alone. Even though they want to have loving and lasting relationships, the fear of being abandoned often leads to mood swings and anger. It also leads to impulsiveness and self-injury that may push others away.

The 2 are one....looking at the not so fun parts of ourselves is hard , but the clarity that comes from it is so worth it. Links to my listening today, and note some will be repetitive. Its how i role:)

https://youtu.be/rgLQWutNxKc?si=XYEoSRWC5ji2Zjbk - Carl Jung - The Power of Knowing Your Dark Side

https://youtu.be/H-XfCl-HpRM?si=cbtXlAZo3LKanI8NHow Your Nervous System Works & Changes

Andrew Huberman

So I have switched to episodes because as much as i would like to say I'm keeping a schedule i am not. Having my grand- daughter full time again changed things up. So I will do episodes and try my best to do daily but as you can see sometimes it does not work out. I have my surgery scheduled in a month finally and I am so ready. Let me tell you not using for a couple days and I can barely move. And I mean barely. IT SUCKS!!!! More on the next episode about that,

When I started transforming, I started to see my past in such a different light. I stopped blaming people and situations on the choices i continue to make. I started seeing that only I was responsible for who i was and i was the only one to change it. I was a rebel and did what i wanted when i wanted for 46 years...I am still doing this but in a whole different light. This is the last episode i am using a different voice. It just does not catch my dynamic personality at all. So say goodbye to sleepy sara because she will be no more.

I am creating a schedule little by little...but always adjusting. I am starting to feel and think differently about things in my life. So all these things I am doing are working. Giving myself permission this time to take this on my terms has made such a big difference because i know I am making these choices for me and no one else. That is the strength i have been looking for and needed, I still have so much to learn and I am sure this wont look perfect but i am ok with that. This time feels so much different to me, This time i want to live a better life and I can actually picture what that looks like. And frankly i look forward to that day. Its coming......And for the things and people in my life that are not on that level. Poof be gone. And just like that I vision it. And it happens.

It was one of those days, so this one is a little shorter. I actually cried this morning. I don't do that very often anymore, But hey, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON even if we don't see it.....that I do trust in.