When you are burdened down by the pointless hash-tagged narcissism of your friends on social media, where can you turn for peace?

I'll tell you one place you can't turn: bad DJs. Listen up to help us fix this mess.

Tired of arguments that go nowhere? So many people on the internet just want to troll you to death and ruin your day. In this episode, we help you spot the trolls, drive your points, and have winning arguments where both parties learn something.

Get it? Because he's peeing and it's a weird urinol spells! HAHA LAWLS ROFLCOPTER LOLOCAUST!

No...

It's not that funny, and doesn't even make sense as a pun. Listen up to find out how to avoid bad humor and where to find the good stuff: the stuff that makes your dull brain think about the joke a little bit.

Do you remember when you died? It was the day you decided thinking critically was for amateurs. Let us help you come back to life by teaching you how to cope with your inevitable death and awake from the daily death known as sleep. Listen up.

We'll give you every broken chainsaw wrapped in barbed wire you need to beat down the belligerent beasts of the apocalypse.

Also, we'll make sure you don't fail your next test. Or, at least, we'll help you cope with total failure. Either way, you win.

Listen up.

Have you ever had trouble walking through doors? That's probably because you forgot to turn the handle. Don't worry, in this episode, we give you the info you need to open doors correctly.

Also, we explain how to deal with people who believe that, as the center of the universe, they are entitled to be whatever they want - a pop star, a baseball player, a billionaire - even if they have no skills.

Listen up.

You have probably gotten a lot of argument ammunition from college studies. What makes you look smarter and more authoritative than citing a study when you are arguing about politics with your friends? In this episode, we tell you why using college studies in arguments can actually do you harm instead of help.

Imagine a world where every opinion you have is so perfect that your friends call you every night to tell you how right you are. A world where when you have little to no idea about what somebody else is talking about, you can say, "Oh yes, I have quite a number of friends who feel exactly the same way."

Picture a situation where you are confronted by someone who insists you are a homophobe. All you would have to say to deal with this lesser mind is, "I have gay friends, and they think I'm great."

That might be your world. Listen up.