In this chapter, I talk honestly about why I’ve stepped away from online dating—not from love, not from connection, but from the apps themselves. As a trans woman who later came into herself as a lesbian, online dating taught me a lot… and also showed me exactly what no longer aligns.

I reflect on two real experiences that shifted my perspective, why ENM and open dynamics—while valid for some—don’t fit who I am at my core, and how choosing depth, clarity, and self-respect has changed how I move through dating entirely.

This isn’t a rant and it isn’t bitterness. It’s about self-awareness, boundaries, and choosing alignment over algorithms. Sometimes opting out is the most grounded decision you can make.