The first of our trilogy of D&D Rap Battles. Elves vs Dwarves vs.... a new challenger appears!

Originally out in 2018. You can find the videoclip in our YouTube channel.

**Credits**

Production/Directors: SpirosK photography, Ailiroy

Lyrics: Alexandros Alexiou

Music/Mixing: Vassilis Zormpas

Dwarves: Alex Antonakis, Markos Chatzidimitriou, George Aleuropoulos

Elves: Alexandros Alexiou, Athena Planeshifter, Yvaine Dazzling

Challengers: Vasilis Rempis, George Gergopoulos, George Karett, Ailiroy

Various Royalty Free/Attribution SFX used, credits in the video.

This song ("Elves vs Dwarves Rap Battle"), copyright by Table Heroes.

**Lyrics**

ELVES

Since the dawn of the world 

I've been around for aeons

you are a pebble lovin midget 

why do I even talk to peons

The only thing you do

is waste time drinking beer

Come talk to me again when you've grown taller dear.

DWARVES

Are you a laddie or a lass

you guys all look queer

I never can be sure

Maybe its just the ears

Yer sorry ass stomachs 

can only handle mead

+2 to Constitution is exactly what ye need

ELVES

Keep your constitution sir

for all that it will mean

Cause your frail bodies 

can't live without your sleep

You are crude dirty and stink

Whilst we are simply fab

Why am I even talking to 

a walking pile of flab?

DWARVES

Whoa, hold yer horses 

ye damsel in distress

These abs are made of stone

And our hands and feet impress

It is no hidden secret

at crafting we are the best

Time and time again

Our metal holds up to the test

ELVES

Your blades may be sharpened

But your lives are dull

No elegance or poetry

What is there to have fun?

We are artists,we are singers

And we love to dance

Now excuse me miss barbaric

While I go enjoy my trance

DWARVES

It seems you are getting sober

Like you've eaten up a lime

Your fanziez do not faze us

It is hammer bumper time

How many of you tell secrets

Through markings in the stone?

Stonecunning as it be

You meditating clown

ELVES

We descend from the fey

That thrive in feywild

Our minds are ascended

And our temper is mild

Unlike your stubborn race 

We perceive across the land

Proficiency in perception

bitch howboutdah?

DWARVES

Well take yer perception

And shove it up your arse

You don't get along as brothers

no bigger curse than that

Moon elves high elves

And those drows below

You're bitching at it like pansies

Ain't nothing you can show

(HUMANS ARRIVE)

- What's happening here?

What's all this noise?

- Seems like twigs and bushes 

try to sing with joy.

- Laughable mini-mes - and pointy-ears

- weren't we seen by your far-seers?

- We came to rule you ,pests

- and raze your wives

(on second thought, no)

- burn down your forests 

and collapse your mines.

We are the star

all hail humankind,

now bow on your knees

and we could spare some wine!