Pablo’s Rhino

Welcome to the table read that makes international crime, midlife crises, and questionable decision-making look like an art form. A washed-up accountant, a cartel queen, two bumbling DEA agents, and—because why not—Pablo Escobar’s pet rhino collide in a story so absurd, so wildly unpredictable, that even the characters can’t believe they’re in it.

Performed by an all-star cast who bring every unhinged line to life with reckless abandon:

🎙 Tim Friedlander as the Narrator 🎙 Jim O’Heir as Charlie, a brilliant writer turned reluctant action hero 🎙 Darin Toonder as Marcus, a trust-fund playboy with a taste for trouble 🎙 Jeff Bergman as Sam, a closeted man finally stepping into the spotlight (and possibly a fight cage) 🎙 Wayne Lopez as Pablo Escobar, a crime lord-turned-domesticated pastry chef 🎙 Andrea Savo as Lucia, a fierce detective with a soft spot for fools 🎙 Dustin Green & Holden Myers as DEA agents Knowles & Martinez, trying (and failing) to expose the truth 🎙 Keylor Leigh as Audrey, Charlie’s no-nonsense ex-wife who knows exactly how to keep him in line 🎙 Lynette Coll as Maria Chung Escobar, the real power behind the throne

Written by Craig Goodwill & Sam Ruano, Pablo’s Rhino is an over-the-top, fast-talking, bullet-dodging, tequila-soaked thrill ride that should probably come with a warning label.

Fast, smart, and just deranged enough to keep you coming back for more. Hit play before someone puts out a bounty on you too.

In the ring, the truth is simple—fight or fall. Bonecrusher tells the unbelievable, untold story of Sam Langford, a scrappy 5’6” fighter who took on giants, both in the boxing world and in life. From a hardscrabble childhood in Nova Scotia to the smoke-filled arenas of global boxing stardom, Langford’s story is as brutal as it is inspiring. With dazzling highs and gut-wrenching lows, his journey redefines what it means to be a champion. Grit, heart, and sheer willpower collide in this stunning saga of a man who refused to back down, no matter the odds.

Brought to life by the award-winning Table Read Podcast and visionary director Jim Morrison IV, this is the untold story of a legend who deserves the spotlight. https://www.tablereadpodcast.com/ https://www.jimmorrisoniv.com/

"Table Read Podcast - The Jew Who Saved Christmas Aftershow"

In this spirited aftershow, Team S&M—Selena Warren and Marissa Reed—sit down to unpack the hilarious and heartfelt journey behind The Jew Who Saved Christmas. From crafting the ultimate holiday hybrid story to juggling CGI elves and wild budget dreams, the duo delves into the creative highs and chaotic moments that brought their script to life. They share their unique writing process, the joy of table reads, and the challenges of making their voices heard in a shifting entertainment landscape. Equal parts insightful and irreverent, this episode is a festive deep dive into storytelling, creativity, and what it takes to make a holiday classic that’s anything but traditional.

The Jew Who Saved Christmas

When Bernie Gold, a sarcastic, weed-toting Spirit Airlines agent, accidentally doses Santa Claus with a magical edible, she finds herself on a chaotic, high-flying quest to save Christmas—or risk becoming history’s most hated Jew. Packed with razor-sharp wit, irreverent humor, and surprisingly heartfelt moments, The Jew Who Saved Christmas is a fast-paced holiday comedy that blends absurd mishaps with touching lessons about family, identity, and the power of embracing the unexpected. It’s the ultimate Christmas-Hanukkah hybrid that will leave you laughing, cringing, and maybe even tearing up.

Act 3: The Jew Who Saved Christmas

Strap in, folks—Act 3 of The Jew Who Saved Christmas takes the chaos of Acts 1 and 2, sprinkles it with some Christmas magic, and cranks it up to “Holy latke, is this really happening?” With Santa still higher than your cousin at a Phish concert, Bernie finds herself fully in charge of the sleigh, a bag of presents, and the fate of Christmas itself. No pressure, right?

From a showdown at TSA (where Bernie proves that saving Christmas sometimes means dodging tasers) to a rooftop brawl with reindeer in full meltdown mode, Bernie’s journey is a mix of slapstick comedy and heartfelt moments. There’s a rogue gingerbread elf screaming on the sleigh radio, Santa pulling Die Hard-level stunts, and Bernie dropping life advice on orphans like she’s a jaded holiday therapist. Did we mention she’s doing this all while rocking a pair of Uggs and the lingering regret of having roofied the big guy in red?

But it’s not all chaos (okay, it’s mostly chaos). Bernie starts to realize that maybe—just maybe—this whole fiasco is more than a holiday disaster. Maybe it’s her chance to prove she’s not the screw-up everyone thinks she is. Or maybe it’s just a chance to survive one more sleigh ride without hurling. Either way, it’s pure comedic gold.

The Cast Still Slaying It: Jeff Bergman, Selyna Warren, Jim O’Heir, Marissa Read, John Milhiser, Kiel Kennedy, Tiffany Black, Carla Delaney, Ashley Bell, and David Jacks continue to bring their A-game, balancing over-the-top laughs with just the right amount of holiday heart.

✨Act 3 of The Jew Who Saved Christmas is what happens when Elf meets Superbad at a menorah-lighting party. It’s absurd, hilarious, a little sweet, and the perfect ending to a holiday tale that’s anything but traditional. Whether you’re here for the laughs, the feels, or just to see how Bernie gets out of this mess, you won’t be disappointed.🎄🔥

Act 2: The Jew Who Saved Christmas

So, remember how Bernie accidentally roofied Santa? Yeah, things have escalated. Turns out, when you drug the guy who single-handedly runs Christmas, the universe hands you the reins of a magical sleigh and screams, “Good luck, schmuck!” Act 2 is Bernie’s full-blown trial by (latke) fire as she fumbles her way through saving the holiday while Santa cycles between being zonked out and, uh, aggressively unhinged.

With a sleigh that feels like it’s held together by Hanukkah prayers and duct tape, Bernie somehow manages to deliver presents across the Midwest. We’re talking rooftops, chimneys, and more near-death experiences than a Spirit Airlines landing. Along the way, she’s got to wrangle her stoned passenger (Santa with candy cane nunchucks, anyone?), give some real talk to a tiny sad orphan about divorce (because therapy was booked), and dodge TSA agent Gimble, who’s basically The Terminator if he hated joy instead of Sarah Connor.

And let’s talk about the chaos: reindeer meltdowns. An almost crash landing. Bernie’s sudden realization that “wait, this sleigh doesn’t have seatbelts??” This act is a disaster in the BEST way—like if Seth Rogen got to rewrite The Polar Express. And just when Bernie starts thinking, “Hey, maybe I’m good at this?”—the universe is like, “LOL, nah.” Cue Santa going full Maccabee berserker mode.

And the cast? They’re killing it:

• Jeff Bergman, Selyna Warren, Jim O’Heir, Marissa Read, John Milhiser, Kiel Kennedy, Tiffany Black, Carla Delaney, Ashley Bell, and David Jacks make this ride more fun than watching your drunk uncle try to carve the turkey. Everyone’s bringing their A-game, delivering laughs sharper than Bernie’s wit and just enough heart to keep you invested in this glorious dumpster fire of a Christmas tale.

✨Act 2 of The Jew Who Saved Christmas is snarky, chaotic, and unexpectedly sweet. It’s everything you’d want in a holiday comedy—plus a little weed, some questionable decisions, and a lot of screaming. Who knew saving Christmas could be this messy—or this much fun?

Act 1: The Jew Who Saved Christmas

Welcome to the holiday chaos you never knew you needed. Meet Bernie Gold—Spirit Airlines check-in clerk, reluctant adult, and connoisseur of bad decisions. It’s Christmas Eve (or, as Bernie will remind you, the seventh night of Hanukkah), and while the rest of O’Hare Airport is brimming with holiday cheer, Bernie’s slouching her way through TSA complaints, confiscated wine bottles, and unsolicited career advice from her aggressively optimistic co-worker, Eve.

Bernie’s life is a snow globe of dysfunction, and someone just shook it—hard. Enter a mysterious piece of "Miracle Gelt" that takes this night from mildly chaotic to “holy crap, is that actually Santa Claus in my parents’ garage?” Let’s just say Santa’s not exactly in prime sleigh-piloting condition, and Bernie might’ve had something to do with it. What follows is a whirlwind of edible-fueled mishaps, family judgment, and a holiday disaster that’s teetering on the edge of redemption.

And the Cast? This lineup will make you laugh so hard you’ll spill your eggnog:

• Jeff Bergman (@jeffbergmanofficial) – The voice legend who brings magic to every moment.
• Selyna Warren (@selynadoubleya) – Writer, star, and the kind of comedic genius that keeps you hooked.
• Jim O’Heir (@therealjimoheir) – The guy who stole your heart in Parks and Rec steals the show again.
• Marissa Read (@marissalread) – A double-duty powerhouse delivering laughs and heart.
• John Milhiser (@johnmilhiser) – Former SNL dynamo bringing the absurdity to life.
• Kiel Kennedy (@kielkennedy) – The gold standard of comedy chaos.
• Tiffany Black (@tiffanyblackness) – Pure holiday hilarity in human form.
• Carla Delaney (@voicesbycarla) – The kind of voice work that makes you laugh even when you don’t want to.
• Ashley Bell (@ashleymichaelbell) – A scene-stealer who brings charm and mischief in equal measure.
• David Jacks – An actor who makes every moment count.

✨This isn’t your cookie-cutter holiday story. It’s raw, messy, ridiculously funny, and filled with just the right amount of holiday heart.

Elevator Pitch: In Act 1 of The Jew Who Saved Christmas, you’ll laugh, cringe, and maybe even tear up a little as Bernie Gold stumbles her way through a Hanukkah-Christmas mashup of biblical proportions. With sharp dialogue, hilariously flawed characters, and just enough holiday magic to keep you guessing, this is the start of a holiday tale that’s anything but traditional—and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

WHO KNEW CHRISTMAS NEEDED A JEW:By: Selyna Warren, Marissa Read, and Jason Currie

BERNIE

Wait. What’s happening? 

SANTA

Christmas feels different. 

Something feels new. 

The snow’s whiter, it’s so much brighter,

and it’s all because of you know who…

BERNIE

Wait… are you talking about me?

SANTA

I’ve roasted all the chestnuts,

killed all the Christmas geese!

But it’s been so monotonous delivering world peace. 

Suddenly through your eyes a brand new view.

Who knew Christmas needed a jew?

BERNIE

 - ISH. We prefer jewish, but I think I get what’s going on here. Your next miracle is to be all Barbara and sing - 

SANTA

I’ve whistled all the carols that could ever have been sung.

The chimneys I’ve been sliding down have given me black lung.

BERNIE

Wait, what? I’ve been sliding down chimneys ALL FRIGGEN NIGHT!

SANTA

Look! I know longer have the soot flu.

Who knew Christmas needed a Jew?

BERNIE

Okay, if you think I’m gonna join you in some dorky little diddy then you are absolutely… correct!

I’ve spent every Christmas eating chinese food alone.

“The dark house on the block”,

that’s what they used to call my home.

But with you I thinkI’ve finally got my shot.

Christmas neede a jew, who knew a jew needed Christmas?

 Okay, sorry, I don't have like a magical weed given song gift. I can’t like improvise rhymes on the fly. 

SANTA

Ho ho …. that’s alright!

I’ll bring all the jolly.

BERNIE

And I’ll bring all the oy!

BOTH

We fit together perfectly,

BERNIE

This Hebrew 

SANTA

and this goy!

SANTA

You lit up my yule-tide log and it’s -

BOTH

 - burning bright!

BERNIE

The sleigh is not the only thing that’s - 

BOTH

 - higher than a kite!

A holly jolly mitzvah, yes it’s true!

Who knew -

BERNIE

 - Christmas 

SANTA

Christmas 

REINDEER

Christmas 

BOTH

 - needed a you?

🎄🕎HOLY FRUITCAKE, PEOPLE—IT’S HERE.🕎🎄 What happens when Santa Claus gets absolutely wrecked on Hanukkah-themed edibles and nearly crashes Christmas? Enter Bernie, a Spirit Airlines check-in agent with a vape, a whole lot of baggage (pun intended), and zero clue how to save the season. Welcome to "The Jew Who Saved Christmas"—a table-read podcast that’s equal parts heartfelt holiday chaos and off-the-rails comedy. Dropping December 10 wherever you get your podcasts, this one is mandatory listening. 🎅 WRITTEN BY: Selyna Warren (@selynadoubleya) – Comic brilliance in action. Marissa Read (@marissalread) – Hilarity you didn’t know you needed. 🎭 STARRING AN EPIC CAST: Jeff Bergman (@jeffbergmanofficial) – The iconic voice behind Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Fred Flintstone and many of your faves. Selyna Warren (@selynadoubleya) – Yes, she writes AND stars. Triple threat alert. Jim O’Heir (@therealjimoheir) – You loved him in Parks and Rec, now you’ll love him as Santa. Marissa Read (@marissalread) – Another double-duty queen. John Milhiser (@johnmilhiser) – Former SNL dynamo. Kiel Kennedy (@kielkennedy) – Comedy gold standard. Tiffany Black (@tiffanyblackness) – A master of holiday hilarity. Carla Delaney (@voicesbycarla) – Voice magic that’ll leave you in stitches. Ashley Bell (@ashleymichaelbell) – Stealing scenes like Santa steals cookies. David Jacks – Actor extraordinaire who brings the laughs. ✨This is not your average holiday story. It’s raw, messy, laugh-out-loud funny, and packed with the kind of dysfunctional cheer we all secretly love. Mark your calendar. DECEMBER 10. Prepare to laugh your dreidel off, spill some eggnog, and sleigh into the season like never before.

Act 3: The Endgame – “Kill or Be Killed” By the final act, the arena is littered with bodies, and only a few contestants remain. Randall, Dana, and a handful of others must navigate the final rounds, where the weapons get deadlier and the fights more brutal. But the true horror of Versus isn’t just the violence—it’s the realization that there is no way out, no matter how many lives are taken. The system is rigged, and only those behind the tournament—The Promoter, The Executioner, and their faceless audience—stand to win.

In the climactic fight, Randall is forced to face his ex-girlfriend Samantha, whom he tried to help by getting her the very job that led her here. The emotional weight of their shared past crashes into the brutality of the arena, as the two fight not just for survival, but for closure. Randall knows only one of them can leave the platform alive, and he must confront the darkest parts of himself to do what’s necessary.

As the final bell tolls, the blood-drenched survivors stand victorious, but at what cost? The prize of freedom now feels like a hollow victory. Dana and Randall, broken and scarred, are left wondering if they’ve truly escaped—or if the tournament has only just begun.

The final moments reveal a chilling twist: Versus is just one of many such tournaments happening across the globe. The Promoter, his identity still shrouded in mystery, congratulates the unseen viewers and teases the next event, leaving the audience with a haunting question: how far will humanity go for entertainment?

Conclusion: Versus is a gut-wrenching, fast-paced descent into the darkest corners of human nature, where survival is earned in blood, and death is just another roll of the dice. With each act more intense than the last, the show pushes the boundaries of morality, violence, and desperation in a world where the line between entertainment and horror has been obliterated. Prepare to be both horrified and captivated, as the Versus Tournament leaves a trail of bodies—and questions—behind.

About VS: "Sixteen people. Three rounds. One survivor. Welcome to the Versus Tournament, where everyday people must fight to the death—live-streamed for the darkest corners of the web. A brutal, high-stakes competition where only one escapes with their life... if they can survive the blood-soaked horrors within."

Inspired by the dark and twisted imaginations of Scott Sigler, Versus is a full-cast performance podcast where Saw meets Gladiator in a terrifying, action-packed three-part saga. With Academy worthy sound design and a cinematic score that will leave you on edge, every moment is crafted to plunge listeners into the terrifying brutality of the tournament.

Vist Us: https://www.tablereadpodcast.com/

Check Out Scott: https://scottsigler.com/

Act 2: The Grind – “Every Strike, Every Cut” The violence intensifies in Act 2, as alliances form and fall apart under the constant threat of death. Dana and Randall, once friends in the outside world, find themselves trapped in separate cages, trying to stay alive while watching others be cut down around them. The Promoter keeps the audience of faceless billionaires entertained with twisted commentary, while the Executioner steps in when a contestant refuses to play by the rules.

Dana’s first match pits her against The Bum, a hulking figure with nothing to lose. But Dana, resourceful and determined, proves that survival requires more than brute strength—it demands cunning, and the will to do what’s necessary, no matter how horrific. She survives, barely, but the trauma of killing leaves a stain that no amount of blood can wash away.

Meanwhile, Randall’s skills as a programmer are no longer an asset; they make him a target. As each fight passes, he becomes more entangled in the conspiracy behind Versus, uncovering clues that suggest the tournament isn’t just a sick game—it’s a lucrative, global operation, and those pulling the strings are untouchable.

The middle act delves into the psyche of the captives as they’re forced to confront their worst selves. Friendships turn to betrayals, and desperation pushes even the most moral characters to do the unthinkable. When the Bodybuilder and the Gangsta square off in a bone-crushing battle, it becomes clear: no one can be trusted. No one is safe.

About VS: "Sixteen people. Three rounds. One survivor. Welcome to the Versus Tournament, where everyday people must fight to the death—live-streamed for the darkest corners of the web. A brutal, high-stakes competition where only one escapes with their life... if they can survive the blood-soaked horrors within."

Inspired by the dark and twisted imaginations of Scott Sigler, Versus is a full-cast performance podcast where Saw meets Gladiator in a terrifying, action-packed three-part saga. With Academy worthy sound design and a cinematic score that will leave you on edge, every moment is crafted to plunge listeners into the terrifying brutality of the tournament.

Vist Us: https://www.tablereadpodcast.com/

Check Out Scott: https://scottsigler.com/