Quick note on self development. Don’t call it self help. People who are immature or have a fixed mindset will ridicule you for it. They will get the impression you are a loser in life looking to self medicate with books. The fact that anyone wants to become a better person is commendable. Also, development information is like taking a pill for an ailment. The key is to take the right pill for what ails you. With that said it’s OK to accumulate knowledge as long as you don’t become an armchair quarterback that hoards knowledge without taking any action. Remember my story about teaching Salsa, I tell students they need to practice for 2 hours for every 1 hour of class-time. That is an absolute minimum. If you don’t take action on what you learn, why bother learning? Why read car brochures if you aren’t going to buy one?

The Big Leap – Conquer your fear and take life to the next level by Gay Hendricks

Take the Big Leap into your Zone of Genius.

2 big takeaways from the book:

When you operate in your zone of genius you are performing at your optimal level, using skills you are uniquely qualified at, and enjoying it every step of the way.

We have an upper limit problem that kicks in when we are doing well. The problem is we self sabotage.

Some books will give you techniques you can implement in just a few hours and improve your skills in whatever you are seeking to do. There are other books that teach skills or communicate ideas that are not as easily implemented. This does not mean the concepts are flawed or the author is not good at explanations. What this means is that the skills are more difficult to master or maybe the point is more nuanced. The book The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks in my opinion follows the latter type of book. The author is teaching a technique in his book that works with the subconscious. Such skills I find more difficult to master because the subconscious isn’t as easy to put your finger on as say the conscious mind. For example, cognitive therapy is straightforward to many people because it deals with modifying the conscious thinking you are aware of. These problems dwell above the surface and are usually in full view. To contrast this, the subconscious is a more elusive medium to work with. It can take people weeks, months, or years to get a handle on some subconscious problems. Many people struggle with subconscious issues their entire lives, never resolving them. I once saw Tony Robbins use NLP to cure a man of a stuttering problem he had his entire life with a 1 hour session. I was amazed how Tony was able to reach in and identify the subconscious problem that was driving the man to stutter. It wasn’t a brain defect or learning disability, it was a behavior pattern that developed as a child and continued through his life.

Even though I don’t see Gay Hendricks mention he is practicing NLP, I can detect it in his techniques.

The Upper Limit Problem kicks in when we are doing well. The problem is we self sabotage.

The key idea with the Upper Limit Problem is that when you attain higher levels of success, you often create personal dramas in your life that cloud your world with unhappiness and prevent you from enjoying your enhanced success.

Each of us has an inner thermostat. When we succeed beyond a certain point, the thermostat kicks in and self-sabotage starts.

Common ways of upper-limiting yourself:

1. Worry. Sometimes we feel worry is productive. It never is. Worry is mental energy expended over something where you have no control.

2. Criticism. Criticizing others can be a distraction to a bigger problem. Or lack of empathy.

3. Deflection. You did great! No I really sucked. Rather just accept the complement and move on.

4. Arguing. Competing to be the victim. Irritability. Lacking empathy. Picking fights to distract or get attention.

5. Illness and injuries. Obviously, some are real, but many