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3.Andrew, Jane, the Parson, and the Fox
It all happened because Andrew Satchel liked his drink too much. 
Jane Vallens, his bride, was some years older than him, and was in a great hurry to get married. 
Andrew agreed to marry her because of the baby, 
but he didn't really want to get married, and Jane, poor thing, was afraid of losing him. 
She was very anxious to get him to church as soon as possible.
So she was very happy, early on a fine November morning, when she and Andrew walked to the church just outside her village. 
Andrew's brother and sister went with them, to be their witnesses. 
After the wedding Andrew and Jane planned to go down to Port Bredy and spend the day there, as a little holiday.
When Andrew left Longpuddle that morning, to walk to his bride's village, 
people said that he was walking all over the road, first one side, then the other. 
The night before, you see, he was at his neighbour's house, for a party to welcome a new baby. 
It was a good party, and Andrew had no sleep, and a lot of strong drink.
He got to the church with Jane, they walked inside, and the parson looked at Andrew very hard.
‘What's this? You're drunk, my man! And so early in the morning, too! That's disgraceful!’
‘Well, that's true, sir,’ said Andrew. ‘But I can stand, and I can walk. Better than a lot of people.
‘You couldn't stand and walk after a party at Tom Forrest's house, could you. Parson? No, you couldn't!’
This answer didn't please Parson Billy Toogood a bit. 
He was strong on church business inside the church, but he was very different outside the church, I can tell you.
‘I cannot marry you when you are drunk, and I will not!’ he said. ‘Go home and get sober!’
Then the bride began to cry. ‘Oh Parson, please marry us, please!’
‘No, I won't,’ said Mr Toogood. ‘I won't marry you to a man who is drunk. It's not right. 
‘I'm sorry for you, young woman, because I can see that you need to get married, but you must go home. 
‘How could you bring him here drunk like this?’
‘But if he doesn't come drunk, he won't come at all, sir!’ said Jane, still crying hard.
But Parson Toogood still said no.
‘Well, sir,’ said Jane, ‘please will you go home and leave us here for two hours? 
‘When you come back; Andrew will be sober. 
‘But I want to stay here, because if Andrew goes out of this church unmarried, wild horses won't get him back here again!’
‘Very well,’ said Parson Toogood. ‘I'll give you two hours, and then I'll come back.’
Andrew's brother and sister didn't want to wait all that time, so the church clerk sent them home.
‘We'll find some other people to be witnesses,’ he said.
Then the bride whispered in the parson's ear. 
‘Please, sir, will you lock the door— and not tell anyone we are here? 
‘And perhaps it will be better if you put us in the church tower. 
‘If we stay here in the church, people can look in the windows and see us and talk about it. 
‘And perhaps Andrew will try to get out and leave me!’
‘All right,’ said the parson. ‘We'll lock you in.’ 
Then he and the church clerk went home, the parson into his house, and the clerk into the garden. 
The clerk worked for the parson, you see— in the garden, taking care of his horses, and that kind of thing. 
And both of them, parson and clerk, dearly loved following the hunt.
Well, on that day the hunt was meeting near the parson's village, 
and soon both the parson and the clerk could hear the noise of the horses, and the dogs, and everything. 
The clerk hurried into the house. ‘Sir,’ he said. ‘The hunt's here, 
‘and your horses need a run very badly, sir. They haven't been out for days!’
‘You're right,’ said Parson Toogood. ‘Yes, the horses must go out.
‘Go and get them ready! We'll take them out, just for an hour, and then come back.’
So the clerk got the horses ready, and he and the parson rode off to find the hunt. 
When they got there, the parson found a lot of friends, and soon they were all talking and laughing together. 
Then the dogs found a fox, and away they all went— 
the huntsmen in their red coats, the squire from the big house with his friends, 
the farmers and their sons, and the parson and the clerk.
He was a great hunting man, was Parson Toogood. 
He forgot all about the unmarried man and woman locked in his church tower, and so did the clerk.
Across the fields they rode, over the hedges, through the rivers, in and out of woods, up and down the hills. 
It was a fine, exciting run that day, and the parson and the clerk enjoyed themselves very much. 
At one time the fox turned back, and ran right under the nose of Parson Toogood's horse.
‘Halloo! Halloo!’ shouted the parson. ‘There he goes!’ and away they all went again.
At last, late in the day, the hunt came to an end. 
The parson and the clerk were a long way from home, and their horses were tired. 
They rode home very slowly.
‘Oh dear, my back does hurt!’ said Parson Toogood.
‘I can't keep my eyes open,’ said the clerk. ‘I'm so tired!’
It was dark when they got home. 
They made the horses comfortable, ate something, and fell into bed themselves.
The next morning, when Parson Toogood was having breakfast, the clerk came running in through the door.
‘Oh sir!’ he cried. ‘Those two in the church tower— we forgot all about them! They'll still be there!’
Parson Toogood jumped up from his chair. ‘Oh dear!’ he said. ‘Oh dear, oh dear! This is disgraceful!’
‘It is, sir, very. And that poor woman...’
‘Don't say it, clerk! If she's had the baby, and no doctor or nurse with her... Come on!’
So they both ran round to the church, looked up at the tower, and saw a little white face looking down at them. It was the bride.
‘They're still there,’ said the parson. He turned his face away. 
‘Oh dear, oh dear! What am I going to say to them? Is she all right, clerk? Can you see?’
‘I don't know, sir. I can't see lower than her neck.’ 
‘Well, how does her face look?’[]‘White, sir. Very, very white.’
‘Well, we must go in and see them. Oh dear, oh dear! And my back still hurts from that ride yesterday!’
They went into the church and unlocked the tower door, 
and at once poor Jane and Andrew jumped out like hungry cats from a cupboard. 
Andrew was very sober now, and his bride was white in the face, but all right in other ways.
‘Thank God for that!’ said Parson Toogood. ‘But why didn't you try to escape? 
‘Why didn't you shout from the top of the tower, to get help?’
‘She didn't want me to,’ said Andrew.
Jane began to cry again. ‘It was the disgrace of it,’ she said. 
‘We thought people would talk about it and laugh at us all our lives. 
‘So we waited and waited and waited— but you never came back, parson!’
‘Yes, I'm sorry about that,’ said Parson Toogood. ‘Very sorry. But now, let's get on with the wedding.’
‘I'd like something to eat first,’ said Andrew. ‘Just a piece of bread. I'm so hungry— I could eat a horse!’
‘Oh, let's get married first,’ said the bride anxiously, ‘while the parson's still here. It won't take a minute.’ 
‘Oh, all right.’ said Andrew.
The clerk was one witness, and he called in a second witness (telling him not to talk about it). 
Very soon Andrew and Jane were husband and wife.
‘Now,’ said Parson Toogood, ‘you two must come back to my house and eat a good meal.’
So they went back with the parson, and ate nearly every bit of food in his house.
They kept the secret for a while, but then the story got out, 
and everybody knew about their night in the church tower. 
Even Andrew and Jane laugh about it now. 
Andrew isn't much of a husband, it's true, but Jane got a ring on her finger and a name for her baby.
The carrier laughs loudly at the end of the postmistress's story. 
‘Did you know Andrew's uncle?’ he asks John Lackland's son. ‘He played in the church band.’
‘The church band!’ says Mr Lackland. ‘Are they still playing their fiddles in the church every Sunday?’
‘No,’ says Mr Profitt, the schoolteacher. ‘They haven't played for twenty years or more. 
‘There's an organ in the church now. The young man who plays It Is very good, but most people liked the fiddles better. 
‘Yes, everybody in Longpuddle was sorry when the church band stopped playing.’ 
‘But why did they stop,’ says John Lackland's son, ‘if everybody liked them?’
And this is what the schoolteacher tells him.