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Talking But Not Communicating – Why Are We Still Doing That?
Why We Talk But Don’t Communicate (And How to Fix It)
We’ve all heard that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, but few of us actually know how to use it. Kent and Caanan move past the tired cliches to discuss the logistics of how we speak, listen, and stay connected. This episode is an invitation to stop just talking and start focusing on the quality and mechanics of your interactions.
From a surprising lesson at a doctor’s office to a breakdown of what happens when the brain becomes "flooded," this conversation explores why so many of us communicate poorly even when we mean well. Whether you are navigating a 28-year marriage or a complex team dynamic at work, learn how to trade assumptions for inquiry and "talking at" for "listening with."
CHAPTERS:
(00:00) Why are we still doing that?
(01:08) Mind Share: Why Kent’s doctor doesn't have news on her phone
(03:12) Why are we still communicating poorly?
(10:42) The assumption trap: Checking in vs. assuming
(14:00) Arguing in good faith: Are you communicating to win?
(15:30) Understanding "The Flood": Communicating through overwhelm
(21:39) The secret distinguisher: Listening vs. talking
(24:02) Worth the Time: Helen Harper series review
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- Quality over Quantity: Communication isn't just about the volume of words; it’s about clarity, directness, and ensuring your message is actually received.
- The Good Faith Test: Healthy dialogue requires an intention to understand rather than a desire to "win" the argument or bully a partner into submission.
- Respecting the "Flood": Recognizing when someone is scientifically unable to process information due to emotional overwhelm is vital for preventing unproductive conflict.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Strengths and Personality Assessments: https://novacationrequired.com/services
SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED:
If this episode helped you improve a conversation today, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.
- Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
- Check out our website: https://novacationrequired.com/services
- Read our book: https://novacationrequired.com/book
- Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/
View all episodes
By Kent and Caanan
5
33 ratings
Why We Talk But Don’t Communicate (And How to Fix It)
We’ve all heard that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, but few of us actually know how to use it. Kent and Caanan move past the tired cliches to discuss the logistics of how we speak, listen, and stay connected. This episode is an invitation to stop just talking and start focusing on the quality and mechanics of your interactions.
From a surprising lesson at a doctor’s office to a breakdown of what happens when the brain becomes "flooded," this conversation explores why so many of us communicate poorly even when we mean well. Whether you are navigating a 28-year marriage or a complex team dynamic at work, learn how to trade assumptions for inquiry and "talking at" for "listening with."
CHAPTERS:
(00:00) Why are we still doing that?
(01:08) Mind Share: Why Kent’s doctor doesn't have news on her phone
(03:12) Why are we still communicating poorly?
(10:42) The assumption trap: Checking in vs. assuming
(14:00) Arguing in good faith: Are you communicating to win?
(15:30) Understanding "The Flood": Communicating through overwhelm
(21:39) The secret distinguisher: Listening vs. talking
(24:02) Worth the Time: Helen Harper series review
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- Quality over Quantity: Communication isn't just about the volume of words; it’s about clarity, directness, and ensuring your message is actually received.
- The Good Faith Test: Healthy dialogue requires an intention to understand rather than a desire to "win" the argument or bully a partner into submission.
- Respecting the "Flood": Recognizing when someone is scientifically unable to process information due to emotional overwhelm is vital for preventing unproductive conflict.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Strengths and Personality Assessments: https://novacationrequired.com/services
SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED:
If this episode helped you improve a conversation today, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.
- Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
- Check out our website: https://novacationrequired.com/services
- Read our book: https://novacationrequired.com/book
- Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/