http://polaroid41.com/talking-to-strangers/

Monday March 29th, 2021 - 5:41pm.

Last weekend theatres across the country opened for a national day of action for the performing arts. There were shows, performances, demonstrations. I had the delicious pleasure of seeing a show, yes at 4:30pm (because of the curfew), yes while wearing a mask, yes in a house that was only half full (because they left seats empty in between people), but a show!  Whew. I needed that.

Afterward, as we were filing out, one of the people who runs the theatre whispered to me, “You can stick around a little, if you want.” I love this theatre, they’re co-producers on two shows I am creating this year, and I was more than happy to be one of the few they invited to linger a bit after the show. It was a modest affair...5:30pm on a Saturday, the full-time staff of the theatre, the two actors from the 3:30pm show, the two actors from the 4:30pm show and me. I drank a beer, chatted and headed home. A year and a half ago I would have thought nothing of it...but whewwwww. It was like a shot of pure happiness! I joked with a friend afterward that it was like 1920s prohibition times: I saw live theatre and drank a beer! Shocking. Theatres and bars have been strictly closed for months, so it all felt rather illicit.  Honestly, as I write this, I feel a bit nervous. Nervous the theatre could get in trouble? Nervous people reading or listening to this might judge me? Yikes… But I am writing this anyway because there’s something on my mind: Yes, I loved seeing a live show, and yes, I loved having a beer. This was no surprise as I’ve been keenly aware how much I’ve missed theatres, bars and restaurants.  The thing I hadn’t full realized was how much I’ve missed just chatting with someone new.

I’m an extrovert. The difference between extroverts and introverts isn’t so much their  level of sociability, but rather extroverts gather energy from being with people and introverts gather energy by being alone. Even though I value time to myself, I definitely ‘recharge’ through connection with others. With the exception of those brutal first months of lockdown last spring when we saw absolutely no one, we have continued to see at least a few close friends throughout the pandemic. It’s been a lifesaver. Last Saturday was different though: after the show, I chatted for a bit to someone I didn’t know. He works for the theatre, and I’d seen him around, but we’d never spoken or introduced ourselves before.  There was nothing remarkable about the conversation, but it struck me that it had been such a very long time since I had talked with anyone new. Seeing close friends this past year has kept me grounded and sane, but I realize now that I’ve been missing the oxygen that comes with newness, with the unexpected.  The effervescence of a casual conversation with someone I don’t know.

A few weeks ago I listened to an interview with French philosopher Charles Pépin. He’s recently published a book called ‘La Rencontre,’ or, ‘Encounters.’ His philosophy is that meeting others is an essential step in meeting ourselves. He points out that one interpretation of the origin of the word ‘existence’ is literally ‘exiting the self.’ We exist through the encounters we have with others, with art, with landscapes, with the world outside us. That’s what it was...the chat I had last Saturday wasn’t more meaningful or more special than the talks I have with friends and family who know me well. Far from it. But it was the simple pleasure of an encounter, of meeting someone new. It was the of feeling going outside myself, of existing in that moment. I think it’s called ‘being alive.’