Talking With Dr Toy

October is considered a time of transition, harvest, balance, and letting go. This is evident as we experience fall when the leaves have turned colors and fall gentle to ground symbolizing the beauty and necessity of letting go of the things that no longer serve you while preparing for a season of rest. "Fall symbolizes adulthood, wisdom, and the gathering of life's experiences." As nature prepares for a time of slowing down, so must humanity as we seek for inner balance and healing. It's time for stillness and reflection. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Many people in this country are enduring struggles seemingly on various fronts in their lives. Whether it be financially, relationally, mentally, physically, or spiritually, individuals are experiencing some hard times. Someone said, "just looking at the news induces anxiety and worry so how can I really believe in a scripture that says, "do not worry about tomorrow"? Many would love concrete answers to such questions, but what if the answer is another question? Have you pondered, what's taking place in me while I'm in this process? This question may not alleviate the pain of the process, but it may provide some insight and the motivation to keep going until your change comes. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

I was reading a devotional that contained the following statement: "The fruit of the Spirit isn't produced through striving; it grows through surrender." Another verse says it this way; "Cease Striving and know that I am God." To cease striving and to surrender maybe the antithesis of what women of color have been instructed to do because for many, 'all our lives, we've had to fight." That posture of fighting maybe so prevalent that the concept of surrender, waving the white flag, is viewed as a weakness. However, whom we surrender too makes all the difference. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

I was talking to someone who questioned her value and worth because of the past trauma and present microaggressions she experienced. Some of us may struggle with life scripts written by others that may haunt and hinder us becoming our authentic selves. Cole Arthur Riley states, "Remind us that our dignity does not wane or bud in relations to anyone's belief in it, including our own. Let us rest with the knowledge that we have nothing to prove; our dignity, perpetual as it is divine. We will not shrink. We expand...For we too contain the divine." Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

I've often said that this podcast is not a substitute for therapy and I would like to encourage us to consider this as an option to improve our overall health. Some people may view receiving help as a weakness but I consider it as wisdom. We are not meant to be lone rangers in this world but oftentimes we move that way as a form of protection which eventually becomes imprisonment. Therapy could be a safe and conducive space for really working on your well-being. Some have not had positive therapeutic experiences, but I encourage you not to give up on finding that person who comes alongside you to assist you in your journey of healing and restoration. You so deserve it. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Congresswoman Maxine Waters popularize this saying several years ago, "Reclaiming my time" and many Black women echoed that statement as a resounding mantra to protect their time and energy. The current conditions of our nation warrant a reminder to restate this mantra not only in word but also in deed. We do that by practicing the art of saying no and saying yes to ourselves. I encourage Black women to make themselves a priority in their own lives and practice balance. It's difficult due to an innate unction to save and be all things to others, but it's possible and needed for self-preservation and thriving. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Work and productivity have been promoted as the ultimate indicators of success and achievement. At times we internalize our worth and value are tied to our productivity and work. So as long as we can produce, we're worthy and we're good enough to belong. However, there's more to you than your work, your title, and your position. Affirmation of your authentic identity anchors you in your place work because you "own your voice and your career." I encourage you to Remember WHO you are not what's told ABOUT you. "Focus on stepping into your power, take calculated risks, build a life and career you don't need to escape from." Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Currently, according to several sources, "up to 600,000 to 700,000 Black women have been pushed out or left without work" due to racial-gendered targeted and concerted efforts by principalities and rulers of darkness. Many are familiar with interpersonal racism and microaggressions, but systemic and structural racism is more insidious and invisible. So insidious, that many Black women are solely blaming themselves for their hardships which has induced shame, guilt, and a loss of dignity. Black women, there's a system's failure in this nation. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

"This joy that I have, the world didn't give and the world can't take it away." If we're honest, at times it does seem like life and this world can extract our joy due to the targeted attacks, microaggressions, and cruelty. However, joy is not solely based on external circumstances, it's an internal well of resourcing that resides in our soul and spirit. Joy is defined as "an abiding, deep-seated state of peace and inner stability rooted in the divine." Joy is also a fruit of the spirit that is nurtured by grace and sustained by an eternal hope in the divine presence and active involvement of Emmanuel (God with Us). Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Black women, do you have emotional safe spaces? Secondly, do you use those emotional safe spaces? An emotional safe space is where we can show up as our authentic selves with our vulnerabilities and limitations and receive nurture, care, love, and validation. Such spaces provide healing where we bask in visibility, are encouraged to take off the masks, speak our voice, and reframe from shrinking and code switching. To be honest, such spaces are few and far between for Black women which is why we must cultivate our own spaces where we no longer remain silent about our mental health. Speak up! Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com