3-2-1 Contact! It's Monday and your new Talko is here. Guaranteed fresh, even though we made it on April 10th. We promise it's fresh. Don't trust the crusty old burrito lady if she says that, but definitely trust us. We occasionally pass FDA approval, and are only somewhat responsible for your irritable bowel.

Matt, Jeff, and Mike have a whole new audio setup thanks all to Matt's efforts of buying new audio hardware to increase the audio quality of our show and have solved all of our audio issues!  We used to be on phones... Now we're on computers! We're in a different league now. You should be impressed.  We've moved up from 1900's technology up to 1970's technology. Look for us on Google Glass in the year 2025. Then leave us a message on our Voice Mail: (303) 335-9278 or 303-DEK-ZAPU or 303-DEL-WART

TALKO GRANDE 403 - THE SLOBcast

The show title comes into play in the third act, when all of our talking shit about Kevin Smith over the past few episodes backfires when his assistant rings us up and calls us out!  So you just sit tight my snoochie-mc-rib-boochies, and get ready for some serious Kevin Smith smack down.

Jeff gets us started with the Top Picks bringing back the tried and true topic of Bacon. It's goddamn everywhere and I'm sick of it. No more bacon on everything including other bacon. I wish bacon were just bacon once again. You have it for breakfast with your eggs, or on a burger, and that's it. Yeah, it’s good, but shut up about it. Unless you replace your bacon obsession with something we can all get behind, like tits, we're taking away your toys.

Next is actual conspiracies (definition) and this link from Slashdot whereby it was revealed in court documents how the FBI works with telecoms to help root out criminals and determine their locations. Then they raid your shit with military class equipment and shut it down! What's the point of this one? Just for Jeff to point out the difference between Conspiracies and Conspiracy Theories. Basically, that's all.

Lastly, Jeff takes a stand against cigarette smokers. And not in the usual way of people telling people to stop smoking because of health concerns. His take is in reference to the smell of it all and the gang piles on for a good laugh.

Mike Frizzell's Calm Down is up next. He takes on people or things that need to calm down and this one's about luggage and beverage props in movies. Specifically, the incorrect weight of the contents of such items. Also grocery bags.

Next it's the "Guy looking for a fight." The short fellow. Short guy complex. Boss complex. Bald complex. Mike and Jeff list examples and we pick them apart for comedic meat. When the discussion turns to tall people Conan's had as guests on his shows... we get a Skype call!

It turned out to be Kevin Smith's assistant calling to tell us to stop talking shit about Mr. Smith. The caller takes us to task on all the crappy things we've been saying about Kevin lately on the show and we find out we may have gone too far.  It comes to light that Kevin Smith pays people to scour the internet looking for disparaging remarks and then has his assistant call them up and tell them to stop it... (what we call) humor ensues. Hang out 'til the end for the chilling conclusion!

Matt - Via con dios.

Jeff - Thanks for listening to Talko Grande, the Denver, CO Podcast.

Mike - Go with God.

Next Episode: Friday Telecast #6