Tape 26: “Tires, Carrots, and Other Local Crops”

Got another recording today—this one opens with them claiming to have reached my “secretary” (the voicemail, I assume), asking if she has good penmanship.

After that, the call wanders through Bootstuck’s new agricultural report: apparently they’ve got a backfield full of “wild tires” that “grow” in the mud, plus a bumper crop of unexpected carrots. Dave’s supposedly writing a musical number about the tires.

Plans are also underway for a roller coaster (target height: seven feet), which Caleb is building out back, presumably with whatever they call “ticky tacky” around there.

Other local concerns include Martin (described as a “weaselly” fellow who ate a Tupperware lid and the toilet seat) and the critical safety rule that you must close the outhouse seat to keep out swans—or entire families of raccoons.

As usual, no clarification on why they’re leaving these messages, or how they even got the interviewers number.

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