If you’ve been following my Instagram and Substack for the last few weeks, you’ll know that I’ve gotten Temperance (patience/balance) or 4 of Swords (a time of rest/wait) in every single weekly reading I’ve done.

Though I’m a spiritual person, my approach to Tarot and spirituality falls more on the logical side. I like to think of the Tarot as a psychological tool and that any coincidences in the cards are just that: coincidences.

So, these repeat cards, even though they were coming up multiple times in a day and while using different decks still made me think that maybe my decks weren’t well-shuffled or that those particular cards were just well-worn and falling out more regularly.

But, then I asked for clarity from my oracle decks, even ones I haven’t used for YEARS, and I got cards like this one, from the Starseed Oracle:

To say I had chills is an understatement. The title is WAIT. The description is: It’s not yet time. Things are being woven.

It shows a woman sitting in space above a galaxy, reaching toward it as if she’s looking at her reflection in a pond.

Here’s a brief, little back story about my life and why I think this “wait” phenomenon is happening.

I got divorced in 2018 (wow, 6 years ago!). I ended up moving to this beautiful, little cabin duplex in the woods. It was campy but affordable, and it was originally an old, 1960s ski house near a bubbling brook. Aside from having to learn to live with wasps, mice, and moles, it was heavenly. Here are some pics. For more, you can visit my other Instagram feed: @gretchenkellycoach.

This was a time of self-discovery, but I was also incredibly lonely and spent a lot of my time dating, trying to find someone to fill this void in my life, instead of looking within and learning to be on my own. I do think I needed this time, to learn what I wanted and didn’t want in my life, but I still wish I had spent more time just focused on my own journey.

I was also incredibly busy, working from home during Covid, as a supervisor for a publishing services department.

Two years later, I moved in with a boyfriend and lived with him for 2 years before we both realized that we were very much used to having our own space, went our separate ways, and remained friends.

In February of this year (2024), I moved to another very affordable apartment near Montpelier, Vermont. This one is in a very old house. The oldest map I found that shows this house is from 1850. It has weird, little paranormal happenings plus lots of windows and good energy. It’s been an apartment building for years, home to folks of many different walks of life. The city was once known for its spiritualist population and still has an air of magic and mystery. I love it here.

More pics for you:

I feel at home here and, for the first time, I feel really happy to be on my own. I have no desire to date, and I’ve reclaimed that feeling I had as a kid when I could always find something to do and was never lonely.

I’ve buried myself in projects, been keeping up with a daily diary since the beginning of the year, and I’ve been inspired to create this space to document my spiritual journey, revisiting my rituals and practices and beliefs.

I feel SO ready for the next phase of my life, a phase that’s entirely about ME. I’m working two jobs to be able to afford the rising cost of living, but I’m STILL itching to find time to write, to start a new project.

I haven’t finished the book about my great-grandmother, What Killed Pearl, though I am working on it as I can and filling in some missing pieces, finding my way with it.

I’ve had a few health scares, and it’s made me eager to finish projects.

I’m in a hurry to do everything that I wish I had done 6 years ago.

And, yet the cards say, “Wait” and “Rest” and “Let the universe catch up.”

I’ve never been one to listen to the advice of others, let alone a deck of cards, but I do think there’s value in this message. To not be afraid of being in stillness with myself, with my thoughts. To allow wisdom to come to me without forcing it. To welcome inspiration. To write it down. To let it bake.

I could never wait for the cake to cool, but I’m learning.

Anyway, today I woke up with a message, a knowing. I was antsy. I didn’t want to wait anymore. I wanted to rush forward, and I heard, “Do so in the service of others.”

This doesn’t mean that the wait or learning time is over, but it is a spark of clarity for me. Whether it’s writing for, creating for, inspiring, or physically assisting others, I’ve known for a long time that I’m happiest and feel most fulfilled when I’m working with people. When I show up for them.

I decided to pull cards from the Starseed Oracle deck again, just now, and I got the following: Trust the Timing card. This seems to validate that the wait is still a thing. And, did I not just write above that I felt like time was running out? This card says, and I quote, “Time is not running out.” That’s nice to hear.

The second card is the Double Mission card with the description: “Serve the world by being you.” Did I not just say I wanted to serve others? I feel so connected lately, and it’s nice to have these validations.

Here are some other nuggets of wisdom from the Starseed Oracle book about these cards that I hope serve you well on your journey too:

Trust the Timing

* It’s never too late to answer a calling, and you’re never too old.

* Don’t race ahead and ride a wave that was never meant for you.

* Don’t let impatience, comparison, competition, or paranoia disturb your goals.

Double Mission

* You may have the feeling that time is running out and that you need to contribute to the planet in some action-oriented way.

* You may feel different, like you carry soul memories of sharing your voice.

* Step into your mission more fully. This doesn’t need to be a great big thing or even a decision you need to make. You don’t need to have a great plan.

* Just figure out what lights you up, your passions and joys, and keep doing that.

* When you trust and follow the simple path of things that light you up, and then lose yourself in the doing, you’ll light up the world without even trying.

I like this. I still feel like I need to do more, but this is a great reminder that I can just keep doing what I love, keep enjoying this journey of self-exploration and self-love and that, in addition to all the other roles I hold in my life, that’s enough.

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