Perfectionism is often used in a statement as a quality we’d want to emulate. Many people categorize themselves as perfectionists as a way to establish a high standard for the quality of the work they produce. This side of perfectionism can actually help the person feel inspired, motivated and proud as they take pleasure in pursuing and achieving their goals. 

The other side of perfectionism is rooted in fear, however, and it’s therefore far less appealing. Once could almost qualify it as self-punishment. We set unrealistically high expectations of ourselves and when we cannot meet our goal we become overly critical and disappointed in our “failure”.

Spending so much time obsessing about our ‘shortcomings’ serves absolutely no good purpose. We could be causing our own stress and anxious thoughts but thinking that the real culprit is our circumstances.

It’s rarely, if ever, our circumstances. When we know ourselves enough and know our pattern, we can catch the behaviors or thoughts that make us perfectionists out of fear. Once we notice we have the power to stop the behavior and pivot in a direction that better serves us. Noticing also gives us access to show ourselves grace, love and compassion. Once we can do that for ourselves, we can extend the same grace, love and compassion for others as opposed to expecting them to do things perfectly.