Terminal Vocation

Welcome back to another episode of Terminal Vocation with your hosts, Deacon Mark and Erin.

This week, the hosts kick off the show by catching up on their respective weeks. Deacon Mark recounts his trip to Arizona for a work conference, while Erin shares the excitement of going to a Nats game (and celebrating a great comeback win!).

This Just In:

The hosts talk about a recent CNN report discussing a study on dogs and their ability to read emotional cues from human facial expressions. The results reveal how canine brains process human emotion, sparking a broader conversation about connection, communication, and the importance of face-to-face interaction in our digital world.

Authority:

The hosts explore the fine line between commanding respect and earning it. Drawing parallels from everyday life, parenting, and even specialized dog training, they break down why relying purely on titles or constant self-promotion often backfires.

They share three core strategies for building and maintaining genuine authority and trust:

1. Calm Beats Loud: Why emotional regulation and a steady presence outweigh intensity.

2. Comprehension Over Compliance: Moving past blind obedience to foster true understanding.

3. You’re Not Their Friend: Striking the right balance between being approachable and maintaining necessary boundaries.

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Updates

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  Family Adjustments: Deacon Mark and Erin share that they are preparing their home to welcome Mark's aging uncle. Moving things from one room to another and throwing out a lot.

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  Sentimental Belongings: Erin reflects on going through a trunk of her late father's memorabilia from his life, including finding an airmail letter detailing Kraft shipping cheese to India, as well as the original 1972 receipt for a Ford Pinto.

• Labor Day Weekend & Family News: The hosts recount enjoying a long hike and a church club pool party. They also celebrate news from their adult children: their son and daughter will be serving in California and Ohio as team leads with NET Ministries.

Seasonal Trends & Relationship Advice

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  Fall Flavor Debates: Mark and Erin discuss whether the Pumpkin Spice Latte has "jumped the shark," noting McDonald's decision to feature a McCafe Caramel Apple Pie flavor instead for fall.

• Keeping Marriage Fresh: Using the coffee comparison as a launchpad, they reflect on their 26-year marriage. They discuss avoiding burnout by discovering new shared interests, maintaining independent hobbies, and treating love as an active verb of continuous care and service rather than a passing feeling.

The Do's and Don'ts of Road Trips

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  Bring (and Agree On) Travel Snacks: Both hosts emphasize having dedicated road trip snacks. They recommend balancing healthy options (nuts, fruit, protein bars) with iconic road trip junk food like Bugles and gummy candies.

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  Stop at Quirky Tourist Traps: Mark recommends embracing spontaneous detours to absurd roadside attractions (such as Wall Drug, South of the Border, or the World's Largest Bison) to keep the journey fun and lighthearted.

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  Plan Frequent Rest Stops: Erin highlights stopping every two hours without judgment for bathroom breaks or stretching, noting that taking brief pit stops keeps everyone comfortable and energized.

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  Avoid High-Stakes Discussions: Mark advises against using road trip drive time to schedule "Define the Relationship" (DRT) talks or heavy emotional confrontation, emphasizing that vacation travel should remain stress-free.

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  Resist Over-Planning: Erin cautions against trying to cram too many states or destinations into a single itinerary, advocating instead for establishing a base camp to settle in and explore surrounding areas comfortably.

note: cover art image generated using AI

This episode of Terminal Vocation, hosted by Deacon Mark and Erin, explores how habits and addictions impact romantic relationships and individual identity.

Personal Updates & Celebrations

• In Memoriam of Penny: The hosts share the sad news of passing away of Penny, their 15-year-old dog and occasional podcast "guest."

• 26th Wedding Anniversary: The hosts celebrate 26 years of marriage, reminiscing about getting married in the year 2000 and poking fun at preferred numbers and dates.

Reflections on Scientific Discovery & Relationship Foundations

• Dark Matter Research: Deacon Mark highlights a news story regarding scientists searching for dark matter using liquid xenon underground.

• Identity and Fulfillment: The hosts draw a parallel between dark matter—something known to exist long before direct evidence is found—and human relationships. Referencing both St. Augustine and Cool Runnings, they emphasize that a person must first find fulfillment in God and self-worth before seeking a relationship, as a partner cannot fill a missing core piece.

Navigating Addictions and Habits in Relationships

• The Business Analogy: Drawing from the book The Goal, Deacon Mark notes that just as businesses must prioritize their primary resources, relationships require prioritizing God and core vocation; addiction subverts this hierarchy by prioritizing a substance or habit above all else.

• Defining Addiction: The hosts define addiction—psychological or physical dependence on drugs, substances, or behaviors—and distinguish between unconscious habits and addictive dependencies.

• Observation and Communication: When noticing an annoying habit or potential red flag (e.g., constant phone usage, heavy drinking, gambling), early observation and open-ended, non-defensive communication are essential to gauge a partner's self-awareness and willingness to change.

• Testing Boundaries with Lent: Deacon Mark shares his practice of giving up alcohol for 40 days during Lent as a periodic proof of self-control. The hosts suggest using temporary breaks or Lenten sacrifices to help reorder priorities rightly.

• Making the Final Decision: Ultimatums often backfire by causing resentment or secretive behavior. Ultimately, an individual must decide whether they can accept a partner's struggles as they are or if the behavior represents a definitive deal-breaker.

In this episode of Terminal Vocation, hosts Deacon Mark and Erin discuss what it means to support friends through the sacraments, covering Matrimony, Holy Orders, and Baptism.

Weekly Recap & Current Events

• Movie Night & In Memoriam: Deacon Mark and Erin catch up on seeing the newly released The Odyssey, comparing its modern structure to Homer's classic text, and honor the legacy, music, and philanthropy of Dolly Parton following her passing.

Supporting Friends in Holy Matrimony

• Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties: The hosts advocate shifting pre-wedding celebrations away from "last hurrah" tropes toward meaningful connection.

• Effective Wedding Toasts: Erin shares her guidelines for a great toast: keep it under three minutes, practice beforehand, and focus on the couple's virtues and future together.

• Sacramental & Spiritual Support: Friends are encouraged to pray specifically for the couple and support them through their formal marriage preparation (such as Pre-Cana) rather than focusing solely on party logistics.

Supporting Friends in Holy Orders (Ordination)

• Understanding the Journey: The hosts outline the long formation path for religious life.

• Practical & Spiritual Accompaniment: Friends can support candidates by attending their ordination Masses and other rites, assisting with practical needs during the transition to a parish, praying for their perseverance, and offering continued encouragement as they adapt to their new state in life.

Supporting Friends in Baptism

• The Role of Godparents & Community: The hosts examine the spiritual responsibilities of godparents, emphasizing that their role is to help raise the child in the faith rather than serve as a mere honorary title.

• Ongoing Sacramental Encouragement: Beyond the baptismal day, friends and godparents are called to celebrate baptismal anniversaries, model a faithful life, and support parents in their duty as the primary educators of the faith.

In this episode, we dive into the subtle warning signs in relationships, exploring why so many of us fall in love with someone’s potential rather than their present reality. We unpack why it’s so tempting to ignore early red flags in favor of an idealized future, and what happens when you find yourself competing with a partner’s unresolved past.

We kick off catching up on our week including the newly empty nest after the kids have returned to their jobs and missions, and the start of OCIA and Erin's school kids returning.

Then as a bit of a change to our usual episode, our "This Just In" topic is our main topic as we use Ella Langley's "Choosin' Texas" as a way to talk about navigating relationship red flags and the trap of trying to fix or wait on someone. We discuss the weight of unresolved longings (whether it's an ex, an old lifestyle, or a city left behind), how to recognize when you're being treated like an outsider in your partner's world, and why someone’s reluctance to commit is a reflection of their own readiness, not your worth.

Together in Holiness Conference

In this episode of Terminal Vocation, Deacon Mark and Erin catch up on family life, back-to-school season, and the bittersweet dynamics of launching adult children into their next chapters.

Reflecting on a recent news story about Ariana Grande taking a step back from her tour, they discuss how similar it can be as parents to both love your family, and sometimes need a break to recharge and renew.

The main focus of this week's discussion centers on Teams of Our Lady—an international Catholic lay movement dedicated to enriching married spirituality and helping couples strive for holiness together.

• What is Teams of Our Lady? The origins of the movement founded by Fr. Henri Caffarel and its core mission to make good marriages better.

• How Teams Work: The structure of a monthly meeting, from sharing a meal and prayer to deep sharing during difficult life moments.

• The Core Endeavors: Practical spiritual tools for couples, including scripture reading, daily prayer, family/couple devotions, a personal "rule of life," and the invaluable monthly "sit-down" with your spouse.

• Our Personal Journey: What nearly 20 years of participating in Teams taught us about community, marriage, and balancing family commitments through different seasons of life.

Whether you're looking for ways to strengthen your marriage, curious about small group movements within the Church, or just trying to navigate the busyness of family life, this conversation offers practical insights and encouragement!

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Hosts Deacon Mark and Erin introduce this episode on social media trends.

Weekly Catch-Up:

Erin talks about sixth-grade orientation at school, while Deacon Mark details an adventurous scuba diving trip to the Florida Keys with his son.

Mini Topic on Care and "Sunk Costs":

Mark recounts a situation from his diving trip involving a couple on the dive boat. The story prompts a conversation about relationship dynamics, prioritizing a partner’s well-being over personal desires or "sunk costs," and making sacrifices for the people you are with.

This Just In:

The hosts touch on a news article featuring actor Tom Holland reflecting on his early career. They discuss the relatable experience of looking back at past work or early life choices with a mix of embarrassment and growth, drawing parallels to the learning curves of early parenting.

Social Media Trends:

The core of the episode shifts to analyzing viral relationship-focused social media trends.

• "Kiss Your Crush" / "Shoot Your Shot" Videos: The hosts discuss the trend of individuals filming themselves taking a sudden romantic leap with a friend or crush. They examine the awkwardness of putting someone on the spot and the ethics of recording private, vulnerable moments for public content.
• "Rage Bait" & Dessert Pranks: The conversation turns to staged or unexpected public pranks—such as a partner opting out of ordering dessert while their significant other orders. They highlight how these trends play on public embarrassment, manipulation, and the potential cruelty of making a partner the punchline for online views.
• Pranking Within Limits: The hosts contrast public online manipulation with lighthearted, harmless pranks among family members at home, sharing a brief personal anecdote about an April Fool's Day joke.
• He Won't Let Me Open My Door: The final trend discussed is one where couples film the gentleman not allowing the lady to open her own door, playing on the notion of chivalry to the extreme.

Throughout the episode, the hosts emphasize the importance of communication, consent, and prioritizing real-life relationships over internet views.

In this episode, Deacon Mark and Erin talk about the challenges of dating as an adult child of divorce.

1. Intro & News

• Banter: Erin discusses a mother-daughter trip to a production of "Drunk Pirates", while Deacon Mark shares news on helping his uncle move into assisted living.
• This Just In: The hosts briefly discuss the birth of JD and Usha Vance's fourth child and the unique challenges of parenting in the public eye.

2. Catholic Teaching on Marriage & Divorce

• Deacon Mark reviews church teaching on divorce and annulments.

3. Practical Steps for Personal Healing

• Key Resources: Before serious dating, adult children of divorce are encouraged to find ways to address some of the issues from their experience of divorce including professional therapy, specialized ministries like Life-Giving Wounds, and focused spiritual direction.

4. Navigating Dating as an Adult Child of Divorce

• Relational Impact: The hosts address the grief of parental divorce, the lack of healthy marriage modeling, and higher statistical risks of divorce, emphasizing that intentional healing allows individuals to build strong, lasting marriages.

Erin and Mark talk about some of their home improvement projects going on this week, including Erin's plans to repaint and Mark moving a couch in the bed of a pickup with questionable tie-down procedures.

The conversation then shifts to pop culture and reports from the wedding of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce who each shared 20-minute wedding vows. Mark and Erin agree that vows are meant to be solemn promises rather than extended toasts or odes to the other person.

The core focus of the episode is the Trinity House Community, a nonprofit founded by Soren and Ever Johnson.

The Trinity House Community has a five-level "blueprint" for families to strive toward. The hosts emphasize that this blueprint is also highly applicable to single individuals working on personal and spiritual development.

• LEVEL 1: FAITH LIFE
• LEVEL 2: PERSON & RELATIONSHIPS
• LEVEL 3: HOUSEHOLD ECONOMY
• LEVEL 4: FAMILY CULTURE
• LEVEL 5: HOSPITALITY & SERVICE