Terry Ford, a “military brat,” grew up in Rome, Georgia, and lives in Cartersville, Georgia. Terry has also lived in Germany and Florida. Terry’s father, David, retired from the Army as a Warrant Officer, after 33 years, including two tours in Vietnam.Terry talks about his parents’ divorce and how he stayed with his father in Fort Benning and then moved in with his Mother in Rome when his father remarried and took his wife to Germany.Terry was close to his mother who was growing in her Christian walk. Terry’s father, although he was not present, provided for the family. Terry always had a positive view of him. Terry’s dad was strong in discipline and generosity. Terry lost him in 2019.

 

Terry was involved in the Boys & Girls Club and played football in high school. Because of influences like those, he stayed out of criminal trouble. When Terry’s father was around, he used the belt and the switch and Terry learned to say “Yes, sir” and “Yes, Ma’am.” He learned to do his work and be a person of integrity. Terry took shop in high school and, at age 14, he used his skills at work installing area rugs. He describes the food service jobs he has also held.

 

Terry started having sexual encounters at age 13, after watching a pornographic videotape. He tells about his first encounter with a girl from school. He wishes his parents had prepared him with education about intimate relationships. Terry has broken the cycle of silence by talking in detail with his children. He has prepared them against the danger of pornography.

 

Jim talks about how easily pornography is accessible to young men. Terry says either you are killing sin or it is killing you. Terry remarks that many men are fighting this problem of pornography, whether they are in Christ or not, but if you are in Christ, you are aware of the evil of pornography and you are able to fight it with the power of the Holy Spirit. Pornography affected Terry’s behavior through high school and college. Pornography distorts your view of women and what a godly man should be doing to respect women.

 

Terry works in a ministry of reconciliation between all followers of Jesus Christ. He says what you find in reconciliation is that we all have the same struggles. Terry believes we are better as a reconciled people in Christ if we all walk together in that struggle.

 

Because there was a lack of intentional, detailed conversation about sex when Terry was growing up, he struggled with perverted behavior. Terry is being transparent about what God is delivering him from.

 

Terry talks about his dad marrying his step-mom when Terry was in 11th-grade in high school. Terry now has a very strong relationship with his step-mom and his biological mom. They both live in Cartersville and they get along with each other. They were there for each other when Terry’s dad passed away.After dying once in a heart attack and open-heart surgery and being resuscitated, Terry’s dad told him, “I was gone, but the Lord brought me back for a purpose. So everything I do is in honor of Jesus Christ.” That was the first time Terry had heard testimony from his dad about his relationship with Jesus. Terry’s dad served Jesus through generosity with other people.

 

Jim affirms Terry for honoring his dad. He affirms Terry for his service of reconciliation of people to Jesus Christ and with each other united in Christ, similar to Terry’s father’s generosity and compassion with people.

 

Jim challenges listeners to hit pause now in the podcast, pick up the phone and call your father, or if that is too much, just to text him, especially if your relationship is strained. Reach out to him if he is living. Tell him how much you love and appreciate him. If you need to reconcile with him, man up and take the initiative to start the conversation and move toward healing. Don’t allow time to go by without reconciling and squaring up your relationship with your father.

 

When Terry entered college after losing his father, he joined the Army Reserves. He went to Sand Hill, Fort Benning, Georgia, to become a Drill Sergeant. He was promoted from E1 to E2 in Basic Training. He made it up to E4, Corporal.In college, Terry was first interested in the performing arts, then business administration, political science, and finally, criminal justice. Terry joined a fraternity, which included getting branded with the fraternity symbol as a rite of passage. He did this again when he joined a second fraternity.Jim talks about the rite of passage of branding observed in many cultures. He believes that when a boy chooses to brand himself a man, with his own hand, he will never see himself again as a boy.Terry refers to the Book of Proverbs and the definition of manhood found there. We have a responsibility from a Christian context, to build up other men for the sake of the gospel.

 

Terry talks about the fraternity culture. They did community service and helped the elderly. There was also a social culture, but that aspect was not always healthy for Terry, because it was not in alignment with being a Christ-follower. Terry had come to know Jesus when he was 15, but he had not continued in a godly walk.

 

Terry graduated with a criminal justice degree and sought to be a juvenile probation officer. He also married his first wife after being with her for a couple of years and after she became pregnant with their child. He tells his children what the Biblical framework is but lets them decide how they will behave.Terry came back to Georgia to look for a career. In 1996, he got a job working with gang members at Cobb County Juvenile Court.Terry talks about his five children, including a stepson from his first marriage. That marriage ended in divorce in 2006. Terry acknowledges the missteps he made in his first marriage and takes the responsibility for not being the man God called him to be.Jim talks about the man being in charge of the marriage and God will hold the man responsible for the marriage. Jim affirms Terry for his words. Terry says that if he had responded to his first wife’s needs in a godly, manly way, he probably could have had the marriage reconciled. Instead, he sinned even more, because he felt sorry for himself. He almost drank himself to death and took sleeping pills. He ended up in the hospital.Jim affirms Terry for having the courage to admit on public record that he had been trying to escape reality in a life of fantasy and sin and had allowed his first divorce to occur out of cowardice.

 

Terry talks of the peace that comes from God showing you your real self and you surrendering to how He wants you to live your life and what your purpose is. Terry is being transparent in hopes that a young man will hear it, and it will be something God uses to keep them from making the same choices.Jim states that God has made men to be protectors and providers, prophet and priest, and to represent our family and our marriage, to do what needs to be done. However, when we don’t, there is hope, grace, and forgiveness in God.

Call to Action: Jim invites listeners to do as Terry has said and turn to God. You’re welcome to email Jim or Terry your questions, but you need to go directly to God your Creator, and take your concerns to Him. If you need to know how to do this, ask Jim or Terry.

 

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