Welcome to Textbook Sleep, the Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid, where we read aloud boring public-domain textbooks to help you fall asleep.

When we released our first two episodes of Hegel’s History of Philosophy, sleep scientists around the world noted a steep spike in the hours and quality of sleep people were getting.

They were baffled by its cause, but of course Textbook Sleep listeners will know by now that there is no writing more punishingly boring than that of Hegel. The conscious mind cannot help but fall asleep to escape it.

For Textbook Sleep, it is a rich vein of boredom to mine, yielding hours of golden slumber.

I, on the other hand, have no choice but to stay awake and read it. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. When I stop reading, you can rest assured that I stagger over to my couch, collapse upon it, and sleep for a ridiculously long time, awakening uncharacteristically ready to face the day with a smile on my face.

It is now time to ring the official Textbook Sleep bronze bell. The bell’s handle is festooned with dragons, as if to chase away cares.

Enjoy, if that’s the right word, this third sampling of the single most boring textbook in recorded history. (That’s not Economics.)

This recording will end quietly.

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