Welcome to Textbook Sleep, the Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid, where we read aloud boring public-domain textbooks to help you fall asleep.

And what could be more boring than statistics? Willford I. King, Instructor in Statistics at the University of Wisconsin, might take issue with that. He is the author of tonight’s snore-o-rama, The Elements of Statistical Method, published in 1924.

It’s so dull, it makes an economics or philosophy textbook read like a Jackie Collins novel.

It’s not just a Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid, it’s an Industrial-Strength Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid, so I must urge caution. Listen in bed only. A sleep stone of boring is headed toward your noggin, and if you are upright, you won’t be for long.

It’s time to ring the official Textbook Sleep bronze bell three times. It has a Pavlovian effect on frequent listeners, causing them not to salivate as in Pavlov’s original experiment with dogs, but to fall asleep and drool on their pillows.

So settle in and sleep…

This recording will end quietly.

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