Hello and welcome to Textbook Sleep, the Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid. Our goal is simple—to bore you to sleep by reading aloud textbooks of little or, frankly, zero interest to anyone.

Tonight I’ll continue reading The Common Law by Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

It’s uncommonly dull. Sensationally dull, even. If the sensation generated is sleep.

It is, however, a textbook central to our understanding of the law, which makes me wonder how it is we have any laws at all, if law students have to stay awake reading it.

Insomnia? Not a thing among lawyers. They’re a well-rested bunch. Because if they ever do have trouble falling asleep, they know which textbook to reach for. This one. They keep it on their bedside tables, and they’ve bookmarked the torts section. Fraud, malice, and intent. Sound interesting? It’s not.

Now it’s time to ring the official Textbook Sleep bronze bell to sonically reset our frame of mind to that of an unfortunate law student. For us, however, none of this will be on the exam.

This recording will end quietly.

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