It’s time again for Thanksgiving!

A History of Giving Thanks

For most of our history, Americans have generally thought that life was hard deal. Life was tough. Difficult. Not supposed to be fair. If you worked hard and had some good luck, you might scratch out a decent life for yourself and your family. Maybe even a life a little better than your parents had.

Hard work and suffering developed toughness, resilience, character and leadership.

So, when something good happened—perhaps a good harvest in the fall or the peace after the horrors of the Civil War—Americans took the time to celebrate that goodness and give thanks for what they had. Safety from harm. Good fortune. The end of difficult times. The freedom to establish a government of the people, by the people and for the people.

In the midst of their hardships in life, Americans took time to give thanks to each other and the Creator for whatever blessings they had received.

Today, Thanksgiving is time to celebrate with family. Time to relax and prepare for the upcoming holidays. Time to get together and tell stories. Maybe even some time to get a nap in before standing in the long Black Friday lines.

Many of us, around the Thanksgiving dinner table, will stop and take some time to share what we are thankful for.

Like America, Thanksgiving stretches across boundaries, generations and ethnicities. One of my daughters’ co-workers, an immigrant from Afghanistan, told my daughter a story about how her children, at Thanksgiving, “hyper-demand” turkey and mashed potatoes. It’s a powerful way they, as Americans, share a common tradition with all other Americans.

All these are good things.

Life is Hard

That said, in today’s world giving thanks can seem counter cultural. How can we give thanks when we’re all battling challenges of one kind or another? Family problems. Problems at work. Financial problems.

The pressure can seem tremendous. Most families in America feel the financial pressure of trying to live paycheck to paycheck. They feel the social pressure of having to live in the right house in the right neighborhood while driving the right car. Our kids must be star athletes and go to the best colleges, or the family prestige is threatened.

With email and texting, we can never fully escape the pressures of work.

24/7 news cycles bombard us with continuous bad news about the nasty, never-ending and all-consuming political fights in Washington DC.

Social media connects us so well that we are no longer developing the tight, personal relationships that used to allow us to share our burdens with others. When we need support from others the most, we seem to have it the least. We have never been so well-connected and simultaneously so alone.

It’s no surprise that we’re more and more anxious and depressed as our own lives never match the perfection others project on Facebook or Instagram.

Un-Thanksgiving: Victims and Entitlements

That’s the backdrop to some growing and dangerous trends in our culture. Some un-Thanksgiving trends. Thanks for blessings are replaced with demands for entitlements.

The un-Thanksgiving trends push the idea that you don’t earn a good life, but that you’re entitled to a good life. That any pain and suffering in life aren’t opportunities for growth, but an unfair betrayal of that entitlement.

These postmodern trends push us to see ourselves as the victims of others who owe us something.

I am entitled to what I want in life and you owe it to me. And if I don’t get what I want from you, I am entitled to demonize you and bully you and be a jerk to you.

These are un-Thanksgiving trends. When you don’t get what you want you are supposed to be angry. When you do get what you want you aren’t supposed to give thanks because you were entitled to it from the beginning.

Un-Thanksgiving is dangerous because it is profoundly self-centered. You can’t understand me because we have nothing in common. I am victim.