The Affirming Practice Podcast

Both co-hosts of the Affirming Practice Podcast are late-diagnosed neurodivergents with varying levels of support needs in different life areas. In today's episode we discuss allyship to late-diagnosed neurodivergents as we unmask to talk candidly with you all about our experiences. 00:00 Introduction & Personal Experiences with Non-Speaking Moments01:09 Overview of Neurodiversity & What It Means to Be an Ally01:44 Host Introductions & Diagnoses (Autism, ADHD, TBI)03:13 Bob's Late-In-Life ADHD Diagnosis Journey & Overcoming Stigma09:24 Emotional Impact of Diagnoses: Relief, Grief, and Anger12:10 Gender Disparities in Diagnosis & Childhood Struggles15:53 School Experiences, Hyperfixations, and Special Interests21:14 Practical Allyship: Listening, Understanding, and Supporting24:32 Coping Strategies, Accommodations, and Navigating Household Needs27:22 Object Impermanence and Its Impact on Daily Life30:05 Transitioning Spaces, Telehealth, and Environment Sensitivity33:05 Innate vs. Acquired Neurodiversity & Skill Regression35:11 Understanding Masking, Overcoming Shame, and Protecting Oneself39:48 A Story on Office Changes, Overwhelm, and Triggering Past Shame44:21 Communication Cards and Meeting People Where They Are47:25 Choosing Kindness and Rejecting Public Shame51:18 Applying Context, Common Sense, and Kind Curiosity56:48 Parallel Play, Body Doubling, and Clashing Access Needs01:00:00 Sensory Sensitivities & Institutional Accommodations in Work/School01:05:08 Self-Medication, Fidgets, and Adapting Learning Strategies01:12:47 Final Key Takeaways on Neurodiverse Allyship & Closing Thoughts

What does real allyship actually look like when performance is set aside? In this episode, we dive into the core principles of genuine allyship, exploring why it is an ongoing action—not a title we can claim for ourselves. We discuss the dangers of performative support, the importance of risk and personal boundaries, and how we can effectively pass the mic to marginalized voices rather than taking over their space. Plus, we talk through the necessity of building long-term, humble relationships with communities rather than showing up for quick photo ops. Tune in as we reflect on how we can show up consistently, listen deeply, and put active allyship into practice within our spheres of influence.

00:00 Intro: What is Allyship?

00:01 Host Introductions

00:01 Defining Active Allyship vs. Self-Proclaimed Identity

00:02 Taking Risks and Having "Skin in the Game"

00:04 Bystander Intervention, Risk Assessment, and Knowing Your Limits

00:05 Moving Beyond Bare Minimum Expectations

00:07 Social Media, "TikTok Allyship," and the Trap of Performative "Holding Space"

00:10 Passing the Mic vs. Taking Space

00:11 Standing With Communities Without Speaking For Them

00:13 Signal Boosting Other Creators

00:14 Why Allyship Looks Different Across Different Communities

00:16 Storytime: Listening to What Communities Actually Need

00:20 Practicing Humility and Avoiding Savior Complexities

00:21 Navigating Specific Needs and Avoiding Transactional Help

00:23 Leveraging Relationships and Networks as Assets

00:25 Avoiding Short-Term "Photo-Op" Volunteer Work

00:27 Relational Support During Community Disasters

00:31 Building Real Relationships: The "Cover Those Bare Bottoms" Project

00:34 Listening, Showing Up, and Accepting "No"

00:37 Visible Faith Leadership and Public Support

00:40 Recognizing When Allyship Requires Real Risk

00:43 Educating Yourself and Alternative Ways to Show Up

00:45 Overcoming Friction and Trust Issues with Organizations

00:47 Trust Is Earned: Showing Up Consistently

00:49 Allyship Is an Honorific Bestowed by the Community

00:51 Put It Into Practice: Action Steps for Building Relationships

00:53 Final Encouragements and Loving Your Neighbor Actionably

Episode Timestamps

What does gender diversity actually mean beyond the labels? In this episode, we dive into the fluid nature of gender, unpack cis privilege, and discuss how we can create inclusive communities where everyone thrives. We break down the difference between pronouns and gender, explore neo-pronouns, and examine how voice, makeup, and clothing shape gender expression. Plus, we take an honest look at gender dysphoria, gender euphoria, and the urgent need for allyship amidst today’s political climate. Join us as we reflect on our own journeys and ask: what steps are you taking to support the gender-diverse people in your community? 

Episode Timestamps

00:00:37 Episode Intro: What is Gender Diversity?

00:01:45 Host Introductions

00:02:55 Gender Is Not Static

00:05:17 Reflecting on Cis Privilege and Masculinity

00:12:12 Pronouns Are Not Genders

00:17:40 Understanding Neo Pronouns & Respecting Names

00:22:38 People Don't Owe You Their Stories

00:25:11 Exploring Gender Expression (Clothing, Makeup, & Voice)

00:32:00 Cultural Stereotypes and Fluidity Over Time

00:37:11 Defining Gender Dysphoria and Gender Euphoria

00:39:55 Drag as Gender Expression

00:41:01 Supporting Gender Diverse Folks

00:44:56 The Political Climate, Legislation, & Allyship

00:52:19 Putting It Into Practice

00:54:31 Summary and Parting Thoughts

Want to ask us a question? Follow this link to our google form! We want to hear from you about what you'd like to see us cover in this podcast.

Our first guest, Pastor Alex Sheppard-Witt, joins us in discussing healing holy harm, also known as religious harm, and building affirming faith spaces. While this episode focuses on Christian faith spaces we feel it is applicable to a broader range of settings. What healing looks like is up to you. What building affirming faith spaces looks like is up to you. Here we provide some guidance, some ideas, and our experiences to help faith communities choose active allyship and building affirming spaces. Thank you for being here.

If you have questions or thoughts about this episode, please be sure to leave them in the comments, and to subscribe/follow and like the content to get updated on our future posts.

What can we learn about allyship from recovery communities and how can we act as allies to those in recovery? In Episode 15 we discuss just that from our experiences and insights as both insiders and outsiders. This episode is the basics about addiction recovery allyship, and navigating that allyship with kindness.

Have questions or a topic you'd like us to address? Let us know in this google form.00:00:00 – Introduction & The Importance of Allyship to People in Recovery00:00:34 – Welcome to the Affirming Practice Podcast00:00:47 – Today’s Topics Outline & Perspectives on Pathways to Recovery00:01:32 – Host Introductions: Bob & Casey Anne Brimmer00:02:43 – Defining Recovery: Medical Illness vs. Moral Failing00:04:50 – What Does the Ongoing Process of Recovery Look Like?00:05:57 – Scope of Topic & Advice for Helping Professionals00:06:52 – Stereotypes, Stigmas, and Misconceptions Around Addiction00:08:08 – High-Functioning Addiction & Harmful Mental Images00:10:07 – Intersectional Factors: Socioeconomic Status, Access, and Vulnerable Communities00:11:25 – Causes of Addiction: Genetics, Trauma, Neurodivergence, & Self-Medicating00:13:32 – Debunking the "Failure of Willpower" Myth00:15:12 – What Can We Learn About Allyship from Recovery Communities?00:16:21 – Socioeconomic Disparities in Criminalization vs. Treatment00:17:15 – The Egalitarian Nature of Recovery Groups00:18:22 – Accountability, Responsibility, and How We Treat Others00:20:20 – Personal Stories on Accountability & Gut-Level Honesty00:22:41 – Societal Barriers to Honesty & Unlearning Toxic Expectations00:24:31 – Removing Toxic Masculinity/Norms & Discussing Higher Powers00:26:42 – Diverse Paths to Recovery & Bob’s Experience Sponsoring an Atheist00:28:58 – Community Support, Mutual Aid, and "Paying It Forward"00:31:03 – Practical Actions for Allyship (Bare Minimum Support)00:32:32 – Institutional Failures in Inclusivity (Church Sacraments & Clergy Culture)00:36:23 – Non-Alcohol-Focused Venues for Events (Pride & Academic Organizations)00:37:34 – Harm Reduction, Designated Drivers, and Venue Safety00:41:33 – Event Etiquette: Buying Rounds, Respecting Choices, & Pushing Back Against Pressure00:44:15 – Going Beyond the Bare Minimum: Intervention, Advocacy, & Calling Out Slurs00:47:43 – Local Community Support Examples (Inpatient Care & Basic Needs)00:49:55 – Community Resources, Crisis Planning, and Being a Cheerleader00:51:44 – Sober Houses, Recovery Houses, and Episode Wrap-Up

In this episode we discuss bystander intervention, understanding your own risk tolerance for intervening, and the role of intervention in allyship.

00:00:28 Episode Intro: Bias, Marginalization, & Allyship00:01:26 Host Introductions00:02:08 Personal Experiences with Bystander Interventions00:09:12 What Does Bystander Intervention Mean?00:10:23 Why Intervene at All?00:16:34 Acknowledging and Assessing Risk00:21:01 Safety Pins and Risk Considerations00:23:13 Example: Silent Witness Peacekeepers00:27:57 Factors to Consider When Deciding How to Intervene00:36:31 A Framework for Intervening00:38:23 Scenario 1: Preemptively Asking How to Intervene00:39:14 Scenario 2: Misgendering & Over-Apologizing00:42:09 Scenario 3: Restroom Harassment00:47:47 Putting It Into Practice00:50:57 Summary and Parting ThoughtsAs always let us know your thoughts in the comments or ask questions at this google link.

Sometimes being visibly affirming and willing to learn is a simple way to be an ally to marginalized and minoritized communities. What does that look like to you? In this episode, we jump in to discuss why we are visibly affirming in our roles as a teacher (Casey Anne) and pastor (Bob), and what that's looked like for us as we learn to navigate our own allyship to marginalized folks.

Want to ask a question and have it answered here on the podcast or on other social media? Click this external link to fill out the anonymous google form, DM us, or ask us in the comments!

00:00 - Introduction & Everyday Representation01:45 - Pedagogy of the Full Self in the Classroom02:43 - Creating Safe Spaces & Breaking Down Echo Chambers05:40 - Passing the Mic in Education & Allyship08:25 - The Difference Between an Ally and an Accomplice11:20 - A Pride Festival Moment: Finding "Micro" Labels13:26 - Using Privilege & Standing Up as Affirming Clergy19:05 - The Power of Seeing Yourself Represented21:25 - How Affirming Adults Protect LGBTQ+ Youth25:00 - Disability Justice & Realizing You Belong28:45 - Planting Seeds & Long-Term Impact31:00 - Practical Steps to Increase Everyday Representation37:10 - Signal Boosting Marginalized Voices39:00 - Holding Leaders Accountable for Diversity44:00 - Put It Into Practice: Actionable Questions for You

In this episode we discuss labels and why they matter as more than something to google for many members of the LGBTQ+ community. Focusing on terms related to gender and sexuality we explore the importance of our own labels to us as individuals and how other's communicating their own labels to us makes a difference. 00:00:00 – Preview & Introduction to Micro-labels00:01:12 – Welcome to the Affirming Practice Podcast & Host Introductions00:02:13 – Episode Overview: What's That Label?00:02:44 – Why Do Labels Matter? (Bridges vs. Barriers)00:05:47 – Personal Identity Labels, Positionality, and Safe Spaces00:08:55 – Descriptors vs. Slurs (Addressing "Cis" and Assigned Sex at Birth)00:11:31 – Broad Categories vs. Narrow Categories (Micro-labels)00:13:32 – Normalizing Pronouns and Challenging Gender Assumptions00:15:32 – Distinguishing Pronouns from Gender Identity00:16:54 – Unpacking Masculinities and Societal Expectations00:18:54 – Overcoming "Not Blank Enough" ("You Are You Enough")00:22:07 – Medicalization of Attraction & History of the Word "Homosexual"00:24:03 – The History, Complexity, and Reclaiming of the Word "Queer"00:25:57 – Understanding "Political Queerness"00:31:36 – Reconciling in Christ (RIC) Congregations & Language Intentions00:33:42 – Answering "What Does the Q Stand For in LGBTQ?"00:38:07 – Respecting Personal Names, Pronouns, and Nuance00:39:06 – What Is Gender-Affirming Care? (Medical, Therapy, and Cis Contexts)00:41:07 – Lived Reality vs. Ideology: Why "Transgenderism" Is Inaccurate00:42:53 – Sexual Orientation vs. Romantic Orientation (The Split Model of Attraction)00:45:24 – Diversity of Gender Experiences, Dysphoria vs. Euphoria00:47:15 – Polyamory & Relationship Models00:48:09 – Interconnected Oppressions: Why Gender and Orientation Are Grouped Together00:49:50 – Defining "Agender" and Questioning Gender Constructs00:52:32 – Self-Reflection on Evolving Language and Identities00:53:02 – Put It Into Practice & Closing Reiteration ("You Are You Enough")

In Episode 11 of the Affirming Practice Podcast we tackle the dreaded idea of "It's just a phase." with the perspective that phases are beautiful and real no matter how temporary. From queer identities to how we embrace our neurodivergences or who we are, phases are complex, messy, and constantly evolving beautiful chaos - yet always real and valid.

In this episode we discuss the harmful trope of telling people who they are is just a phase, and reframe phases as integral parts of human experiences and growth. Yes, even your cisgender heterosexual grandma has has a phase or two in her lifetime.

00:00 - Introduction: What a Beautiful Phase

01:14 - Host Introductions: Casey Anne Brimmer & Pastor Bob Ierien

02:26 - Icebreaker: What Phase Are You in Right Now?

03:14 - Navigating Self-Acceptance & Rebuilding

04:25 - Unpacking Past Phases: Conversion Therapy & Self-Discovery

05:41 - Vocation vs. True Self

07:42 - Rethinking Work-Life "Balance" & Dynamic Identities

12:25 - Intersectionality: You Are More Than Just One Thing

14:11 - Life’s Eras & "Just a Phase" Misconceptions

16:16 - Evolving Identities: From Naval Officer to Pastor

18:10 - Why Do People Fear Change & Complexity?

22:36 - Neurodivergence & Embracing the "Full Self" Phase

24:24 - Privilege, Cis-Normativity, and the Effort of Growth

In this episode we discuss disability unfiltered through our own experiences and provide resources for allies and disabled folks alike. Both Casey Anne and Bob discuss aspects of their disabilities and how they impact our day to day experiences with the world and both systems and institutions that aren't always disability friendly.

00:00 Introduction & Language of Disability00:27 Host Introductions01:09 Episode Overview: Disability, Allyship, and Ableism02:04 Scope and Categories of Disability02:28 The Social Model vs. Medical Model of Disability03:09 Identity-First vs. Person-First Language05:12 Dynamic and Invisible Disabilities08:00 Ambulatory Wheelchair Use & Fluctuating Needs10:45 Euphemisms and Language Choices13:15 Defining Ableism and Systemic Barriers16:30 Internalized Ableism & Personal Reflections21:10 Communicating and Accommodating Access Needs26:40 Practicing Authentic Disability Allyship32:15 Etiquette, Respect, and Avoiding Pity38:00 Building Accessible Environments and Systems44:30 Disability Affirmation in Faith Communities51:00 Challenging Microaggressions and Biases56:20 Practical Takeaways for Everyday Action1:00:15 Closing Thoughts and Outro