Every narrative has a cost, and in this audit, the human body is the ultimate ledger of debt. Step into March 2026 with our cynical auditor, Marcus, whose aching neck is just the first sign of systemic ergonomic neglect. He's dissecting the 'Paleo Diet' – a metabolic short squeeze that promised hunter-gatherer vitality but delivered a pharmaceutical off-ramp and a 'biological payday loan' based on 'Flintstones logic.' His counterpart, the unflappable Katie, cuts through the noise, revealing the 'Paleo' market segment as a 'Gilded Barrier,' a high-net-worth narrative designed to externalize the cost of health while offering an illusory sense of control. This isn't just about diet; it's about the insolvency of an entire wellness fantasy.