Rachel chose the wrong guy and we have A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. Plus, we're talking about our predictions for Bachelor in Paradise, making fun of Lindsay Lohan's new "lifestyle" website, and crying about Chris Pratt & Anna Faris' breakup.

What’s Happening in the News?

• No one wants to pay for Lindsay Lohan’s “lifestyle” advice.

• http://jezebel.com/lindsay-lohans-lifestyle-site-isnt-doing-so-well-1797548033 

• http://www.refinery29.com/2017/08/166632/robbie-tripp-husband-letter-curvy-women-attraction 

• http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/why-do-we-blame-women-in-a-celebrity-break-up 

Real Talk: The Bachelorette Season 13 Finale + Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 Premiere

• I’m comin’ for you, Rachel. Not only did she settle for a ring (and the loser behind the ring), she totally trashed Peter and tried to sabotage his chances of becoming the next bachelor. NOT A GOOD LOOK.

F*ck, Marry, Kill

• Peter, Bryan, and Dean

What We’re Loving This Week

• Elise: KitNipBox. Laz loves his August goodies. The box is campfire-themed, and there’s a frog toy he loves in particular. KitNipBox is the best cat box to me because 1) they give a portion of each month’s proceeds to shelters and animal welfare organizations, and 2) they’re super interactive on social media. If you want your own KitNipBox, follow @lazasaurusrexx -- the link is in his bio!

Boss/Adulting/Soap Box

• Elise: It’s a surprise.