Behold! Paul, Javi, and - majestically - Producer Brad brave yet another sword-and-sorcery spectacular-ish in this story of a warrior on a quest to find… honestly, it’s hard to remember, but it definitely had something to do with a weird angry guy (Rip Torn) in a strange place with a thing. And some sort of large roasted animal leg. Oh yes, and the warrior not only has a big sword, tiny loincloth, and major sixpack, he can somehow also talk to animals. Mostly ferrets. He also talks to Tanya Roberts, in an apotheotic bid for 1980s genre queen status. And as if that weren’t enough, don’t miss the shocking revelation of how Paul was once traumatized by ferrets belonging to an unnamed Oscar-winning director. It’s epic-ish battles, dazzling-ish magic, and yes, ferrets… it’s The Beastmaster!

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