In this episode, I roast Shapiro’s cadence, share my wife’s brutal (and accurate) Will Ferrell comparison, and spiral into the insanity of reality TV—The Biggest Loser nearly killing contestants, Donald Trump’s Apprentice transformation, and treasure hunters blowing up boulders for nothing.

Somewhere between laughing at the absurdity of human desperation and ranting about phone etiquette, I manage to stumble on baby-oiled P. Diddy supporters, turning 42, and why my nipples just need to breathe.

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