Life Deconstructed

The bitch takeover today, pussy takeover tomorrow


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Today’s passage, a quote from “A Radical Awakening,” a new book by Dr. Shefali Tsabary. “If there is one word most women hate, it’s being called a ‘bitch.’ “Calling us bitches, sluts, or whores is one of the ways culture controls its powerful women. When we understand this, we stop taking it personally… Because, when we are called Bitch, it’s not about us at all. It’s all to do with how unsubmissive and powerful we actually are.”

Let's deconstruct what is at the root of name calling. Name calling, in all forms, is an illusion that a person is “lesser than” or “crazy” inflicted by a delusionary name-caller who believes their victim is a weakling who can be intimidated and controlled. When really, it’s the power the victim embodies which threatens name caller therefore they try to inflict a wound through verbal abuse, which is precisely what calling a woman a bitch truly is, until we own the word as women and take it back.

Switching gears, former First Lady, Eleonor Roosevelt once famously said, "No on can make you feel inferior without your consent" but understanding and applying this idea, in the real world can be tricky.  As women, we are so deeply conditioned to seek validation, and approval from others because culture, society and our well-meaning parents have impressed upon us the need to be agreeable, so if someone disagrees with us or is highly unpleased with us we may experience some pretty heavy discomfort until we learn to embrace the slurs much like the U.S. feminist magazine, titled, "Bitch" has done saying, if “Bitch is a word used to describe an outspoken woman, we’ll take the compliment.”

Much like the African American community in taking back the N-word. Or, how the gay community has taken back the Nazi's Pink Triangle, a symbol that once brought about shame and humiliation is now a symbol of pride.  

But, in order to full own bitch, or any other slur, we have to disrupt the cultural pattern that many of women suffer from, being raised as good girls, we have the disease to please.’ It's an illness spread all over the world, because ‘good girls’ aren’t called bitches, and 'good girls' don't have their mental faculties brought into question with bits like, ‘That’s a crazy hoe.’

When we see women like Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who is often called a bitch, even recently bitch by a congressman, we describe the the congresswoman as 'strong'. Alexandria Ocasia-Cortez is a 'strong woman' because she speaks her mind.  Because the fact of the matter is, women who speak their mind are strong.  It's difficult to speak your mind and be verbally abused by men for doing so, which is why we have to take back the word bitch as a label of empowerment.  
 
Obviously, we never call men 'strong' for speaking their mind.  No, their just called, 'men'.
 
 But now what do we call a weak man? A pussy.  Because  weakness is associated with the vagina. But truly, we should help men out with that one and take back the word, 'pussy' too, so that it's not aligned with weakness.

Whenever there is a ‘strong man’ be it mind, body or soul, let’s describe him with admiration by calling him a real 'pussy.'

Think of a man in your life you respect and you love and try this compliment out. Maybe a spouse, a reverend, the President of the United States.  That Joe Biden, now he’s a real pussy.

Connect with me: Instagram.com/megan_nycmom

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Life DeconstructedBy Megan Stalnaker